Many, many years ago, back in the Middle Ages, the Pope was urged by his advisors
to banish the Jews from Rome. It was unseemly, they said that these people should
be living unmolested in the very centre of Catholicism. An edict of eviction was
drawn up and promulgated much to the dismay of the Jews who knew that wherever
else they went they could only expect worse treatment than was meted out to them
in Rome. So they pleaded with the Pope to reconsider the edict. The Pope, a fair-
minded man, offered them a sporting proposition: Let the Jews appoint someone to
debate with him in pantomime. If their spokesman won the Jews might stay.
The Jews met to consider this proposal. To turn it down was to be evicted from
Rome. To accept it was to court certain defeat, for who could win a debate in
which the Pope was both participant and judge? Still, there was nothing for it but
to accept. Only, it was impossible to find someone to volunteer for the task of
debating with the Pope. The burden of having the fate of the Jews on his shoulders
was more than anyone man could bear.
Now when the synagogue janitor heard what was going on he came before the Chief
Rabbi and volunteered to represent his people in the debate. “The janitor?” said
the other rabbis when they heard of this. “Impossible!”
“Well,” said the chief Rabbi, “None of us is willing. It is either the janitor or
no debate.” Thus for lack of anyone else the janitor was appointed to debate with
the Pope.
When the great day arrived, the Pope sat on a throne in St. Peter’s square
surrounded by his cardinals, facing a large crowd of bishops, priests and
faithful. Presently the little Jewish delegation arrived in their black robes and
flowing beards, with the janitor in their midst.
The Pope turned to face the janitor and the debate began. The Pope solemnly raised
one finger and traced it across the heavens. The janitor promptly pointed with
emphasis towards the ground. The Pope seemed somewhat taken aback. Even more
solemnly he raised one finger again and kept it firmly before the Janitor’s face.
The janitor thereupon lifted three fingers and held them just as firmly before the
Pope who seemed astonished by the gesture. Then the Pope thrust his hand into his
robes and pulled out an apple. Whereupon the janitor thrust his hand into his
paper bag and pulled out a flat piece of matzo. At this the Pope explained in a
loud voice, “The Jewish representative has won the debate. The edict of eviction
is hereby revoked.”
The Jewish leaders promptly surrounded the janitor and led him away. The cardinals
clustered around the Pope in astonishment. “What happened, your Holiness?” then
asked. “It was impossible for us to follow the rapid thrust and parry of the
debate.” The Pope wiped the sweat from his forehead and said, “That man is a
brilliant theologian, a master in debate. I began by sweeping my hand across the
sky to indicate that the whole universe belongs to God. He thrust his finger
downward to remind me that there is a place called Hell where the devil reigns
supreme. I then raised one finger to signify that God is one. Imagine my shock
when he raised three fingers to indicate that this one God manifests Himself
equally in three persons, thereby subscribing to our own doctrine of the Trinity!
Knowing that it was impossible to get the better of this theological genius I
finally shifted the debate to another area. I pulled out an apple to indicate that
according to some new-fangled ideas the earth is round. He instantly produced a
flat piece of unleavened bread to remind me that, according to the Bible, the
earth is flat. So there was nothing to do but concede the victory to him.”
By now the Jews had arrived at their synagogue. “What happened they asked the
janitor in bewilderment. The janitor was indignant. “It was all a lot of rubbish,”
he said. “Look. First the Pope moves his hand like he is telling all the Jews to
get out of Rome. So I pointed downwards to make it clear to him that we were not
going to budge. So he points a finger to me threateningly as if to say. Don’t get
fresh with me. So I point three fingers to tell him he was thrice as fresh with us
when he arbitrarily ordered us out of Rome. The next thing, I see him taking out
his lunch. So I took out mine.”
🙂
Many, many years ago, back in the Middle Ages, the Pope was urged by his advisors
to banish the Jews from Rome. It was unseemly, they said that these people should
be living unmolested in the very centre of Catholicism. An edict of eviction was
drawn up and promulgated much to the dismay of the Jews who knew that wherever
else they went they could only expect worse treatment than was meted out to them
in Rome. So they pleaded with the Pope to reconsider the edict. The Pope, a fair-
minded man, offered them a sporting proposition: Let the Jews appoint someone to
debate with him in pantomime. If their spokesman won the Jews might stay.
The Jews met to consider this proposal. To turn it down was to be evicted from
Rome. To accept it was to court certain defeat, for who could win a debate in
which the Pope was both participant and judge? Still, there was nothing for it but
to accept. Only, it was impossible to find someone to volunteer for the task of
debating with the Pope. The burden of having the fate of the Jews on his shoulders
was more than anyone man could bear.
Now when the synagogue janitor heard what was going on he came before the Chief
Rabbi and volunteered to represent his people in the debate. “The janitor?” said
the other rabbis when they heard of this. “Impossible!”
“Well,” said the chief Rabbi, “None of us is willing. It is either the janitor or
no debate.” Thus for lack of anyone else the janitor was appointed to debate with
the Pope.
When the great day arrived, the Pope sat on a throne in St. Peter’s square
surrounded by his cardinals, facing a large crowd of bishops, priests and
faithful. Presently the little Jewish delegation arrived in their black robes and
flowing beards, with the janitor in their midst.
The Pope turned to face the janitor and the debate began. The Pope solemnly raised
one finger and traced it across the heavens. The janitor promptly pointed with
emphasis towards the ground. The Pope seemed somewhat taken aback. Even more
solemnly he raised one finger again and kept it firmly before the Janitor’s face.
The janitor thereupon lifted three fingers and held them just as firmly before the
Pope who seemed astonished by the gesture. Then the Pope thrust his hand into his
robes and pulled out an apple. Whereupon the janitor thrust his hand into his
paper bag and pulled out a flat piece of matzo. At this the Pope explained in a
loud voice, “The Jewish representative has won the debate. The edict of eviction
is hereby revoked.”
The Jewish leaders promptly surrounded the janitor and led him away. The cardinals
clustered around the Pope in astonishment. “What happened, your Holiness?” then
asked. “It was impossible for us to follow the rapid thrust and parry of the
debate.” The Pope wiped the sweat from his forehead and said, “That man is a
brilliant theologian, a master in debate. I began by sweeping my hand across the
sky to indicate that the whole universe belongs to God. He thrust his finger
downward to remind me that there is a place called Hell where the devil reigns
supreme. I then raised one finger to signify that God is one. Imagine my shock
when he raised three fingers to indicate that this one God manifests Himself
equally in three persons, thereby subscribing to our own doctrine of the Trinity!
Knowing that it was impossible to get the better of this theological genius I
finally shifted the debate to another area. I pulled out an apple to indicate that
according to some new-fangled ideas the earth is round. He instantly produced a
flat piece of unleavened bread to remind me that, according to the Bible, the
earth is flat. So there was nothing to do but concede the victory to him.”
By now the Jews had arrived at their synagogue. “What happened they asked the
janitor in bewilderment. The janitor was indignant. “It was all a lot of rubbish,”
he said. “Look. First the Pope moves his hand like he is telling all the Jews to
get out of Rome. So I pointed downwards to make it clear to him that we were not
going to budge. So he points a finger to me threateningly as if to say. Don’t get
fresh with me. So I point three fingers to tell him he was thrice as fresh with us
when he arbitrarily ordered us out of Rome. The next thing, I see him taking out
his lunch. So I took out mine.”
🙂