多くの母親は子供を何人欲しいか、または持つべきかというジレンマに直面している。子供を持つ幸運に恵まれても、さらに子供を欲しいと思うことがある。30歳を過ぎ、3人目の子供を考え始めた母親が悩みを投稿。経済的不安や出産のタイミング、子供の教育費などを考えてアドバイスを求めている。他の母親からは、経済的面をクリアすれば3人目も問題ないという意見が寄せられており、シミュレーションを試してみることを提案されている。
Many mothers have probably faced the dilemma of how many children they want or should have. Even if they were lucky enough to have a child according to the family plan they had planned before marriage, they may want another child. On the other hand, the Mama Star community received inquiries from a poster who was struggling with whether to have a third child. The poster is a mother with children in the first grade and junior high school.
“I gave birth to my first child at 25 and my second child at 27. I had planned to have a boy and a girl by the age of 30, which came true, and I am very satisfied. However, around the age of 30, I started thinking, ‘I want a third child, but having three children will cost money, and I’m already 30, so maybe I should give up.’ Now that I’m 33, I feel like it’s my last chance and I’m starting to fall in love, feeling frustrated every day. By the way, my husband is in favor of having another child. But as I think about money, children, and various other things, I feel like I’m getting older without finding an answer. By the way, I live in the countryside. I would appreciate any advice or suggestions.”
The poster originally wanted two children. She was happy to have a child as she had hoped, but she began to want a third child a few years ago. Furthermore, she is currently in her early thirties, considering her age and feeling a time limit for childbirth, feeling anxious. Seeking advice for mothers who are considering having a third child given the economic uncertainties they are facing.
Is it okay to have a third child if you want to have one? “You will regret it in a few years,” they say.
“If it were me, I would have a child while I’m still young.” Even if you give up now, you will surely want it again. At that time, you will surely regret not having had a child a few years ago. “In that case, I want to have a child soon.”
“If you want to have a child, you must have one. You will feel sad every time you see a family of three. That isn’t logical.”
In response to the poster’s desire for a third child, mothers commented directly, “If you want one, why not have one?” The poster’s feelings may grow stronger in the future, but the likelihood of them diminishing further seems low. In fact, I know someone who was agonizing over having a third child, but she ended up giving up without seriously trying to conceive in the midst of busy days, only to regret not conceiving. When the third child is born. Even now, in their forties, my acquaintance occasionally wonders what would have happened if the third child had been born. This made me realize that the desire to have a third child never really goes away. Go somewhere. I think the poster also may not be able to say for sure that she will not regret giving up on having a third child.
Experience of a mom who gave birth to a third child around 30 years old
“When I was around 33, I was torn between giving birth to a third child or changing jobs. My eldest son is in his second year of high school and my youngest son is in fifth grade, so my husband said he was lonely without me and wanted a third child, but I decided to change jobs. If there’s no compromise, even a third party might be okay. I am currently 35 years old and I regret not changing jobs, and I haven’t given up on having a third child, but I feel it’s no longer possible.”
“I was 23 when I gave birth and now I’m 34. I also have the same worries, and since I’m older, I’m leaving it up to fate.” It took me many years to conceive the first and second child, so I had given up, but I was able to give birth sooner than I thought.”
There are also stories of mothers who truly struggled with the idea of having a third child. Even if you gave birth to your first and second child in your twenties, by the time you have your third child, you may feel like this is your last chance for childbirth. In your early thirties, you are still relatively young, and it is a common age for many mothers to have their first child. However, if you already have two children, it may be a time to consider focusing more on your career. You may wonder, “Is it okay to have a third child even if I have two children?” The desire for a third child comes not only from the challenges of raising children but also from knowing the unbelievable cuteness of babies and the joy of watching them grow. Among the mothers who struggled with giving birth to a third child, some say, “I’m glad I had a third child,” while others say, “I haven’t given up yet.”
It’s natural to feel anxious about money, isn’t it?
“If my husband’s annual income is 15 million yen, I’ll continue.” Without that, it’s tough.”
“Even if you live in the countryside, assuming you go to a private science university, I think you need an annual income of 10 to 15 million yen, but is it possible to work while raising three children?” Can you live on just your husband’s income? What about parental support? “I’m considering various things.”
Holding three children is very conceivable in today’s society. In families with many children, there is a high likelihood of economic insecurity and worries. From the mothers came advice such as “Consider how much money you can spend on yourself and your children from an income perspective” in response to this post. The author lives in the countryside, but it may be wise to consider not only living expenses but also whether you can cover the education costs if your children want to go to university in the future. Evaluate whether your husband’s income is likely to increase in the future, your work situation, your current savings, future expenses, and consult with a financial planner if necessary to estimate the amount. What you may face in the future. It is also important to save for that.
In response to this post, many people offered the opinion, “If you have the economic aspect in order, having a third child should be fine, right?” The reason mothers are saying this so bluntly may be because they have experienced difficulties and financial struggles from having multiple children. For the poster, it may be worthwhile to cherish the desire to have a third child, and it may be a good idea to start simulating life with three children.
Author: AKI Editor: Miho Arimura Illustration: Mayuka!