写真はイメージです。親孝行は親が生きている間にしっかりとしておくべきだという言葉について、親孝行の意味を考えます。沢木文さんが60代、70代の親たちにインタビューし、親子関係や親孝行について紹介します。記事では、様々な家族の問題や苦労が紹介され、親子関係について考えさせられます。子供の行動には影響を与えるかもしれない親の姿勢や対応についても示唆されています。家族との関係が人生を大きく変えることを感じさせられる内容です。
“There is a saying that if you take care of your parents, they will not be around anymore,” according to Daishisen (Xiao Xiaoguan), this is about regretting not being more filial to one’s parents while they are alive. So, what does it mean to be filial to one’s parents? Taking your children on trips or dining out with them is generally perceived as something parents really want, but is that really what they want?
Writer Sawaki Fumi, who has been covering family issues, interviews people in their 60s and 70s who have children, and introduces their parent-child relationships and acts of filial piety.
Fukue (77), who runs a restaurant in Tokyo, said, “I have three children, but my second son Beau, who used to be the silliest, is probably the most filial now. He gave birth at 22.” She gave birth to her eldest son at the age of 25, her eldest daughter at the age of 30, and her second son Beau. Beau had repeated truancy and running away during his middle school years, but with the help of his family, he entered a prestigious university-affiliated high school. In the first part, the hardships of Yoshie, who is in her early 40s, are introduced. Fukue is troubled by her husband’s illness, the shrinking of the family business, and the huge school fees for her three children.
[History up to the present in Part 1]
When Beau was a freshman in high school, he was suspended for smoking on campus.
Since Beau had truancy issues, the neighbors wondered strangely, “Is his inability to attend school because of insufficient parental love?”
“I used to call that ‘truancy’ back then. Well, I was proud when my son passed the entrance exam to a university-affiliated high school, considering the awful things he had been called and teased about. I was 45.” I too, being young at the time, would boast about it often, but when he received a two-week suspension in May, I was worried about what would happen if he couldn’t graduate.
Back then, awareness of minors drinking and smoking was even lower than it is today. Still, it was considered a big enough issue to warrant punishment.
“To prevent the children from becoming school refusers, I went to the nearby shrine every day, and although they got into fights with other students, got piercings, and smoked, they graduated.” He went on to attend another university, but later moved in with a hostess in Ginza and had a student marriage.
While her eldest son and daughter were at work and asked not to be disturbed, Fukue directly consulted with another woman.
“I prepared 500,000 yen as money. It was an era when men held the reins. When I went to a high-end condominium in Akebono, my son came out of a very dirty room in his underwear and threw his shoes at me. ‘Welcome back, Granny!’ he said. Another woman stopped my son and said, ‘I will not marry your son. Please be happy.'”
Various incidents, including trouble with the police, occurred, and her son dropped out of university. With Yoshie, whose goal in life was to send her three children to university, she was unable to sleep due to anxiety. In her 50s, she was diagnosed with breast cancer, and her postoperative condition was poor, teetering on the brink of life and death.
After listening to her husband’s words, Liang Hui’s feelings changed and she started working full-time at a snack bar. Her eldest son and daughter were still single and moved to a nearby apartment. After dropping out of university, her second son continued to roam without a proper job, but at the age of 38, he married a classmate from elementary school. The woman had a stepson.
“Her second son did not speak to me for 18 years and is still fooling around with women. It seems that my second son is like a street hustler. I’m glad he found a partner. Why?” Did he get married? How is the woman with children? And if his wife is 38, can we expect grandchildren? She said, “There is a baby in my belly.” I was so happy that it was over, but I was as shocked as I was with chocolate.
Jiffy mentioned that she had been eager for a grandchild, although she couldn’t tell her husband. At that time, her second son, whom she had given up on, brought her good news.
“Both parents and grandparents are very nice people, and my husband is hardworking, kind, and patient. I wanted someone from that lineage. When my grandchild was born, she was very cute. And when my grandchild was born, I noticed a lot about her,” she said. We’d been dating for a while, and she has a great personality. Despite her husband passing away seven years ago, even though he was not like that, she took her grandchild to see me. It doesn’t happen often.
[Having a family changes your life. [When you have a family, life changes.]