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This series supports the free Future of Mental Health virtual conference I’m hosting from February 23 – 27, 2015. Please get your free ticket to the conference now by visiting https://www.entheos.com/The-Future-of-Mental-Health/Eric-Maisel. And plan to attend!
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Each day in this series of 30 days to better mental health I want to propose one simple idea and one simple strategy in support of that idea. If you’d like to view other posts in this series, please visit here:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/experts/eric-r-maisel-phd
You might like to ask a friend to join you for these 30 days. The two of you can chat about the ideas I’m presenting and support each other in your efforts to try out some new strategies. You might even want to get a whole group involved!
Today we look at the following.
Even if we don’t know the exact causes of our emotional distress, we still need to act and make an effort to relieve that distress. It is your job to make an effort at distress reduction even if you don’t know perfectly or even very well what’s causing the distress. Try to get really comfortable with that reality: that you may have to work the project of your life through a cloud of genuine not knowing. We wish we knew more about how cause-and-effect operates in our life but in reality we know very little.
Is it possible to reduce our distress even if we don’t know what’s causing it? It is indeed. We may not know what is causing a fire but in the absence of counter-indications to do so we think that throwing water on it makes sense. We may not know what is causing our shortness of breath but in the absence of counter-indications to do so we think that sitting down and resting makes sense. We act but we also appraise: we throw water on the fire but register if the fire flares up; we catch our breath but we also register that our chest feels uncharacteristically tight and that we had better dial 911.
We learn how to discern, how to appraise, how to act even in the absence of all the facts. We are able to act because we have a sense of what to do even if we don’t know the chain of cause-and-effect confronting us. We know how to employ an anxiety management strategy even if we don’t know the exact cause (or maybe the many causes) of our anxiety. We know that getting out in the sunlight and moving about in the world often helps to reduce our sadness, even if we don’t know the exact cause (or maybe the many causes) of our sadness. If we decide that we want to act on our own behalf, we know lots of things to try.
Then we appraise the things we’ve tried to see if they are working or working well enough. If the anxiety management tool we’re employing isn’t doing a good enough job of reducing our experience of anxiety, we add on another one or replace the one we’re using with another one. That is, we keep trying. We don’t say, “I have no idea where this anxiety is coming from, it’s completely irrational, and since I have no idea I have no chance of managing it.” Instead we say, “Let me try something.”
We must not let the reality of not knowing enough about cause-and-effect stop us from working to reduce our distress. It may prove easier to learn about the distant reaches of the universe, the beginning of time, and the insides of atoms than about what makes man tick. This is a hard truth to swallow. But we must start there, announcing how little we know—even about our own motives, our own shadows, our own make-up—and that, despite that lack of knowing, we will still make an effort to take charge of our emotional wellbeing.
Try the following simple thing today. Just say, “I can make an effort to reduce my distress even if I don’t know what’s causing it.” Remind yourself of that truth—and that obligation.
To summarize:
Today’s goal: Remembering that not knowing the cause of your distress isn’t a good reason to do nothing about reducing it.
Today’s key principle: We often know very little about what is causing our distress. There may be multiple causes; or the cause may be obscure and hidden in the shadows; or it may be that something from long ago and all-but-forgotten has triggered today’s adverse reaction. Nevertheless, it is our job to make an effort to reduce our distress, whether or not we know what is causing it.
Today’s key strategy: Say to yourself, “I can make an effort to reduce my distress even if I don’t know what’s causing it.”
Good luck today!
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Dr. Eric Maisel is the author of 40+ books including Life Purpose Boot Camp, Rethinking Depression, and Coaching the Artist Within. In 2015 he will be launching a Future of Mental Health initiative. You can learn more about Dr. Maisel’s books, services, trainings, and workshops at http://ericmaisel.com. Contact Dr. Maisel at ericmaisel@hotmail.com. And don’t forget to attend the free Future of Mental Health virtual conference in February: https://www.entheos.com/The-Future-of-Mental-Health/Eric-Maisel
