Skip to main content
Intended for healthcare professionals
Restricted access
Research article
First published online August 5, 2011

Is Long-Term Love More Than A Rare Phenomenon? If So, What Are Its Correlates?

K. Daniel O’Leary K.D.O’[email protected], Bianca P. Acevedo, Arthur Aron, Leonie Huddy, and Debra MashekView all authors and affiliations
Volume 3, Issue 2
https://doi.org/10.1177/1948550611417015

Abstract

Some individuals in long-term marriages report intensities of romantic love comparable to individuals newly in love. How common is this? Are correlates of long-term romantic love consistent with theoretical models of love? In a random sample of 274 U.S. married individuals, 40% of those married over 10 years reported being “Very intensely in love.” Importantly, correlates of long-term intense love, as predicted by theory, were thinking positively about the partner and thinking about the partner when apart, affectionate behaviors and sexual intercourse, shared novel and challenging activities, and general life happiness. Wanting to know where the partner is at all times correlated significantly with intense love for men but not women. For women, but not men, passion about nonrelationship factors significantly correlated with intense love. In a random New York (NY) sample of 322 individuals married over 10 years, 29% reported being very intensely in love and our predicted correlates cross validated.

Get full access to this article

View all access and purchase options for this article.

Get Access

References

Acevedo B., Aron A. (2009). Does a long-term relationship kill romantic love? Review of General Psychology, 13, 59–65.
Crossref
ISI
Google Scholar
Acevedo B., Aron A., Fisher H., Brown L. (2011). Neural correlates of long-term intense romantic love. Social Cognition and Affective Neuroscience Advance online publication. doi: 10.1093/scan/nsq092.
Crossref
Google Scholar
Aquilino W. S. (1994). Interview mode effects in surveys of drug and alcohol use: A field experiment. Public Opinion Quarterly, 58, 210–240.
Crossref
ISI
Google Scholar
Aron A., Aron E. (1986). Love and the expansion of self: Understanding attraction and satisfaction. New York, NY: Hemisphere.
Google Scholar
Aron A., Henkemeyer L. (1995). Marital satisfaction and passionate love. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 12, 139–146.
Crossref
ISI
Google Scholar
Aron A., Norman C. C., Aron E., McKenna C., Heyman R. E. (2000). Couples’ shared participation in novel and arousing activities and experienced relationship quality. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 78, 273–284.
Crossref
PubMed
ISI
Google Scholar
Beach S. R., O’Leary K. D. (1993). Dysphoria and marital discord: Are dysphoric individuals at risk for marital maladjustment? Journal of Marital & Family Therapy, 19, 355–368.
Crossref
PubMed
ISI
Google Scholar
Berscheid E., Hatfield [Walster] E. H (l969). Interpersonal attraction. New York, NY: Addison-Wesley.
Google Scholar
Buss D. M. (1989). Conflict between the sexes: Strategic interference and the evocation of anger and upset. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 56, 735–747.
Crossref
PubMed
ISI
Google Scholar
Buss D. M. (2006). The evolution of love. In Sternberg R., Weis K. (Eds.), The new psychology of love (pp. 65–86). New Haven, CT: Yale University Press.
Google Scholar
Coan J. A., Schaefer H. S., Davidson R. J. (2006). Lending a hand: Social regulation of the neural response to threat. Psychological Science, 17, 1032–1039.
Crossref
PubMed
ISI
Google Scholar
Cuber J. F., Haroff P. B. (1965). The significant Americans. New York, NY: Appleton-Century.
Google Scholar
Currivan D. B., Nyman A. L., Turner C. F., Biener L. (2004). Does telephone audio computer-assisted self-interviewing improve the accuracy of prevalence estimates of youth smoking? Evidence from the UMass Tobacco Study. Public Opinion Quarterly, 68, 542–564.
Crossref
PubMed
ISI
Google Scholar
Diener E., Lucas R. E. (2000). Explaining differences in societal levels of happiness: Relative standards, need fulfillment, culture and evaluation theory. Journal of Happiness Studies, 1, 41–78.
Crossref
Google Scholar
Donnelly D. A. (1993). Sexually inactive marriages. Journal of Sex Research, 30, 171–179.
Crossref
ISI
Google Scholar
Fisher H. E. (2006). The drive to love. In Sternberg R., Weis K. (Eds.), The new psychology of love (pp. 87–115). New Haven, CT: Yale University Press.
Google Scholar
Hansen G. L. (1981). Marital adjustment and conventionalization: A re-examination. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 43, 855–863.
Crossref
ISI
Google Scholar
Hatfield E., Pillemer J. T., O’Brien M. U., Le Y. L. (2008). The endurance of love: Passionate and companionate love in newlywed and long-term marriages. Interpersona, 2, 35–64.
Crossref
Google Scholar
Hatfield E., Sprecher S. (1986). Measuring passionate love in intimate relations. Journal of Adolescence, 9, 383–410.
Crossref
PubMed
ISI
Google Scholar
Huston T. (2009). What’s love got to do with it? Why some marriages succeed and others fail. Personal Relations, 16, 301–327.
Crossref
ISI
Google Scholar
Huston T. L., Niehuis S., Smith S. E. (2001). The early marital roots of conjugal distress and divorce. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 10, 116–119.
Crossref
ISI
Google Scholar
Jose A., Rajaram S., O’Leary K. D., Williams M. C. (2010). Memory for partner related stimuli: Free recall and frequency estimation. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 27, 658–670.
Crossref
ISI
Google Scholar
Kiecolt-Glaser J. K., Loving T. J., Stowell J. R., Malarkey W. B., Lemeshow S., Dickinson S. L., Glaser R. (2005). Hostile marital interactions, proinflammatory cytokine production and wound healing. Archives of General Psychiatry, 62, 1377–1384.
Crossref
PubMed
Google Scholar
Kiecolt-Glaser J. K., Newton T. L. (2001). Marriage and health: His and hers. Psychological Bulletin, 127, 472–503.
Crossref
PubMed
ISI
Google Scholar
Kim J., Hatfield E. (2004). Love types and subjective well-being: A cross cultural study. Social Behavior and Personality, 32, 173–182.
Crossref
ISI
Google Scholar
Meston C. M., Hamilton L. D., Harte C. B. (2009). Sexual motivation in women as a function of age. Journal of Sexual Medicine, 6, 3305–3319.
Crossref
PubMed
ISI
Google Scholar
Miller P. J. E., Caughlin J. P., Huston T. L. (2003). Trait expressiveness and marital satisfaction: The role of idealization processes. Journal of Marriage and Family, 65, 978–995.
Crossref
ISI
Google Scholar
Murray S. L., Holmes J. G. (1997). A leap of faith? Positive illusions in romantic relationships. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 23, 586–604.
Crossref
ISI
Google Scholar
Murray S. L., Holmes J. G., Griffin D. W. (1996). The benefits of positive illusions: Idealization and construction of satisfaction in close relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 70, 79–98.
Crossref
ISI
Google Scholar
Murstein B. I., Beck G. D. (1972). Person perception, marriage adjustment, and social desirability. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 39, 396–403.
Crossref
PubMed
ISI
Google Scholar
Ortigue S., Bianchi-Demicheli F., Hamilton A. F., Grafton S. T. (2007). The neural basis of love as a subliminal prime: An event-related fMRI study. Journal of Cognitive Neuroscience, 19, 1218–1230.
Crossref
PubMed
ISI
Google Scholar
Ortigue S., Bianchi-Demicheli F., Patel N., Frum C., Lewis J. W. (2010). Neuroimaging of love: fMRI meta-analysis evidence toward new perspective in sexual medicine. Journal of Sexual Medicine, 7, 3541–3552.
Crossref
PubMed
ISI
Google Scholar
Oswald A., Wu S. (2010). Objective confirmation of subjective measures of human well being: Evidence from the US. Science, 327, 576–579.
Crossref
PubMed
ISI
Google Scholar
Papaharitou S., Nakopoulou E., Kirana P., Giaglas G., Moraitou M., Hatzichristou D. (2008). Factors associated with sexuality in later life: An exploratory study in a group of Greek married older adults. Arch Gerontol Geriatr, 46, 191–201.
Crossref
PubMed
ISI
Google Scholar
Reissman C., Aron A., Bergen M. R. (1993). Shared activities and marital satisfaction: Causal direction and self-expansion versus boredom [Special Issue: Relational maintenance]. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 10, 243–254.
Crossref
ISI
Google Scholar
Snyder D. N. (1997). Marital Satisfaction Inventory, Revised (MSI-R). Los Angeles, CA: Western Psychological Services.
Google Scholar
Spanier G. B. (1976). Measuring dyadic adjustment: New scales for assessing the quality of marriage and similar dyads. Journal of Marriage & Family, 38, 15–28.
Crossref
ISI
Google Scholar
Sternberg R. J. (1986). A triangular theory of love. Psychological Review, 93, 119–135.
Crossref
ISI
Google Scholar
Tennov D. (1979). Love and limerence: The experience of being in love. New York, NY: Stein & Day.
Google Scholar
Villarroel M. A., Turner C. F., Eggleston E., Al-Tayyib A., Rogers S. M., Roman A., … Gordek H. (2006). Same-gender sex in the United States: Impacts of T-ACASI on prevalence estimates. Public Opinion Quarterly, 70, 166–196.
Crossref
PubMed
ISI
Google Scholar
Weiss R. L. (1980). Strategic behavior marital therapy: Toward a model for assessment and intervention. In Vincent J. P. (Ed.), Advances in family intervention, assessment, and theory (pp. 229–271). 1, Greenwich, CT: JAI Press.
Google Scholar
Whisman M. A., Delinsky S. S. (2002). Marital satisfaction and an information-processing measure of partner-schemas. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 26, 617–627.
Crossref
ISI
Google Scholar

Cite article

Cite article

Cite article

OR

Download to reference manager

If you have citation software installed, you can download article citation data to the citation manager of your choice

Share options

Share

Share this article

Share with email
EMAIL ARTICLE LINK
Share on social media

Share access to this article

Sharing links are not relevant where the article is open access and not available if you do not have a subscription.

For more information view the Sage Journals article sharing page.

Information, rights and permissions

Information

Published In

Volume 3, Issue 2
Pages: 241 - 249
Article first published online: August 5, 2011
Issue published: March 2012

Keywords

  1. culture and cognition
  2. impression formation
  3. person perception
  4. social cognition
  5. social judgment

Rights and permissions

© Social and Personality Psychology Consortium 2012.
Request permissions for this article.

Authors

Affiliations

K. Daniel O’Leary
Psychology Department, Stony Brook University, Stony Brook, NY, USA
K.D.O’[email protected]
View all articles by this author
Bianca P. Acevedo
Psychology Department, Stony Brook University, Stony Brook, NY, USA
View all articles by this author
Arthur Aron
Psychology Department, Stony Brook University, Stony Brook, NY, USA
View all articles by this author
Leonie Huddy
Political Science Department, Stony Brook University, NY, USA
View all articles by this author
Debra Mashek
Psychology Department, Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA, USA
View all articles by this author

Notes

K. Daniel O’Leary, Psychology Department, Stony Brook University, Stony Brook, NY 11794, USA Email: K.D.O’[email protected]
K. Daniel O’Leary is a distinguished professor of psychology and a past chair of the Stony Brook Psychology Department. His research has several foci, namely, the intersection of marital discord and clinical depression; etiology, prevention, and treatment of intimate partner aggression; and treatment of coexisting depression and marital discord through dyadic treatment. His most recent books are psychological and physical aggression in couples (APA, 2009) with Woodin and couples therapy treatment planner (Wiley, 2011) with Heyman and Jongsma.
Bianca Acevedo is a postdoctoral fellow in the Department of Public Health at Weill Cornell Medical College. She received her PhD in Social/Health Psychology from Stony Brook University. Her research in social neuroscience focuses on the neurobiological underpinnings of love and attachment, and their many facets and applications. Her work on intense long-term romantic love has been disseminated in news around the world.
Arthur Aron is a professor of psychology at the State University of New York at Stony Brook. His research centers on the self-expansion model of motivation cognition in personal relationships, including the neural underpinnings and real-world applications of the model to marriage, family, and intergroup relations. He was the 2006 recipient of the distinguished research Career Award for the International Association for Relationship Research.
Leonie Huddy is a professor of political science and Director of the Center for Survey Research at Stony Brook University. Her research focuses on psychological approaches to public opinion and she has published numerous journal articles and book chapters on the emotional responses to the threat of terrorism, the dynamics of gender and race-related political attitudes, and the study of political identities. She is the coeditor of the award winning Oxford Handbook of Political Psychology, former coeditor of the journal Political Psychology, and current (2010–2011) president of the International Society for Political Psychology.
Debra Mashek is an associate professor of psychology at Harvey Mudd College. Her research examines individual’s feelings of connection with intimate partners and community. She has edited two volumes: Handbook of Closeness and Intimacy with Arthur Aron and Empirical Research in Teaching and Learning with Elizabeth Yost Hammer.

Metrics and citations

Metrics

Journals metrics

This article was published in Social Psychological and Personality Science.

VIEW ALL JOURNAL METRICS

Article usage*

Total views and downloads: 3226

*Article usage tracking started in December 2016

Altmetric

See the impact this article is making through the number of times it’s been read, and the Altmetric Score.
Learn more about the Altmetric Scores


Articles citing this one

Receive email alerts when this article is cited

Web of Science: 58 view articles Opens in new tab

Crossref: 69

  1. Couples vacations and romantic passion and intimacy
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  2. The wife, the mother, and the slut: sexual pleasure for the Filipino w...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  3. Not just love and safety, but excitement, energy, fun, and passion: re...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  4. Love Culturally: How Does Culture Affect Intimacy, Commitment & Love
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  5. The impact of romantic relationships on deception detection: Exploring...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  6. Romantic love evolved by co-opting mother-infant bonding
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  7. Toward consistent reporting of sample characteristics in studies inves...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  8. Love
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  9. Love and intimacy
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  10. Self-expansion motivation and inclusion of others in self: An updated ...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  11. Neural mechanisms of brand love relationship dynamics: Is the developm...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  12. Feeling Close and Seeing a Partner in a New Light: How Self-Expansion ...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  13. The role of sensuality, imagination, and curiosity in high and optimal...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  14. “OMG, Yes!”: Feasibility, Acceptability, and Preliminary Efficacy of a...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  15. Locked‐Down Love: A Study of Intimate Relationships Befo...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  16. Integrating Sexual Pleasure for Quality & Inclusive Comprehensive Sexu...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  17. Sexual Satisfaction: Exploring the Role of Flow
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  18. Women’s techniques for making vaginal penetration more pleasurable: Re...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  19. Proximate and Ultimate Perspectives on Romantic Love
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  20. Embodied self-other overlap in romantic love: a review and integrative...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  21. Love
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  22. Love and intimacy
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  23. Sexuality and relationships
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  24. Work and Family Issues
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  25. Intimate Relationships
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  26. Broadening your horizon one day at a time: Relationship goals and exci...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  27. After the Honeymoon: Neural and Genetic Correlates of Romantic Love in...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  28. Online Marriage Education During COVID-19 Home Lockdown: A Multiple-Ba...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  29. The Self-Expansion Model and Relationship Maintenance
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  30. The Relationship of Close Marital Affairs to Healthy Women’s Sexual Fu...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  31. Love is a physiological motivation (like hunger, thirst, sleep or sex)
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  32. Love between couples living with Alzheimer's disease: narratives of sp...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  33. Attachment theory grows up: a developmental approach to pair bonds
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  34. Experiences of Male Partners of Women Prisoners
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  35. Portrayals of Romantic Deception to the Masses: An Analysis of Classic...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  36. Les secrets des couples qui durent
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  37. What’s love got to do with it? improving the effect of marriage educat...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  38. Love as Expansion of the Self
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  39. MOTIVAÇÕES PARA A MANUTENÇÃO DO CASAMENTO
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  40. The Relationship between Intimacy Change and Passion: A Dyadic Diary S...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  41. Does Loving Longer Mean Loving More? On the Nature of Enduring Affecti...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  42. Relationship Discord, Intimate Partner Physical Aggression, and Extern...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  43. Casamentos de Longa Duração: Recursos Pessoais como Estratégias de Man...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  44. Sustaining Versus Losing Love: Factors Discriminating the Two
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  45. What Keeps Passion Alive? Sexual Satisfaction Is Associated With Sexua...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  46. Do You Pursue Your Heart or Your Art? Creativity, Personality, and Lov...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  47. Knowing Our Own Hearts: Self‐Reporting and the Science of Love
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  48. Regulation of Romantic Love Feelings: Preconceptions, Strategies, and ...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  49. Can You Be Hit by Your Partner and Be Intensely in Love?
    Go to citation Crossref Google ScholarPub Med
  50. Neural substrates and behavioral profiles of romantic jealousy and its...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  51. Promoting intimacy: strategies suggested by the appetitive side
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  52. The self-expansion model and optimal relationship development
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  53. Marriage and the Dynamics of Love
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  54. Love and Intimacy
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  55. Love Is Not an Emotion
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  56. Love and Commitment in Romantic Relationships
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  57. Preliminary Findings Supporting a New Model of How Couples Maintain Ex...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  58. When Does Familiarity Promote Versus Undermine Interpersonal Attractio...
    Go to citation Crossref Google ScholarPub Med
  59. Pair-Bonding, Romantic Love, and Evolution...
    Go to citation Crossref Google ScholarPub Med
  60. Intensity of Love in a Community Sample of Spanish Couples in the Regi...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  61. The Effects of Romantic Love on Mentalizing Abilities
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  62. Effects of self‐disclosure and responsiveness between couples on passi...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  63. Passion for life...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  64. The Components of Great Sex: Sexuality Education for People Who Desire...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  65. The Components of Great Sex
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  66. Climbing Diotima's Mountain: Marriage and Achieving Our Highest Goals
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  67. Ellen Berscheid, Elaine Hatfield, and the Emergence of Relationship Sc...
    Go to citation Crossref Google ScholarPub Med
  68. The Psychology of Love: Exploring the Gender Differences in Unmarried ...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar

Figures and tables

Figures & Media

Tables

View Options

Get access

Access options

If you have access to journal content via a personal subscription, university, library, employer or society, select from the options below:

ARP and EASP members can access this journal content using society membership credentials.

ARP MEMBERSHIP LOGIN

EASP MEMBERSHIP LOGIN

ARP and EASP members can access this journal content using society membership credentials.

ARP MEMBERSHIP LOGIN

EASP MEMBERSHIP LOGIN

Alternatively, view purchase options below:

Purchase 24 hour online access to view and download content.

Subscribe to this journal

Access journal content via a DeepDyve subscription or find out more about this option.

Start 2 week free trial
Need help?

View options

PDF/ePub

View PDF/ePub

Full Text

View Full Text
View full text|Download PDF

Also from Sage