Things were going well, or so you thought. You were on the road toward a fulfilling long-term relationshipโฆ until the guy ghosted you, vanishing into thin air without a word. But now heโs back, โlikingโ pictures of your recent vacation on Instagram and your sexy selfies on Facebook. Whatโs up with him? Is he for real?
- He doesnโt want to lose touch. Heโs hoping that he can sweeten you up to ensure he stays on your mind and in your heart so that he has a chance to date you if he wants to take it in future. What a jerk. Heโs the one who pushed you out of his life, so he canโt expect to creep back in without even apologizing or being real about why he disappeared in the first place.
- He doesnโt realize how awkward heโs being (or just doesnโt care). He could call you up to say hey, but that feels awkward AF, especially if he suspects that youโd hang up on him. At least with social media, he can hide behind a screen and say hello in the form of โlikes.โ Itโs also a clever way to test the temperature. If you donโt โlikeโ his stuff back or contact him properly, then he knows youโre completely out of reach. What a coward.
- He doesnโt want to be with you, butโฆ Just because heโs approved of your gorgeous selfie, it doesnโt mean that heโs hoping for a second chance. Heโs just hoping youโll THINK that he is so that youโll leave the door open for him to possibly step in again.
- Heโs lazy. He doesnโt want to make a lot of effort. Thatโs why he bolted the first time, choosing to be remembered as a jerk rather than a guy who deserved your time. This โlikingโ business fits in with his personality. Instead of making a real effort, like by texting or calling you and having a real conversation, heโll put in a tiny bit of effort just hoping to catch your eye.
- Yup, he wants attention. The guy who crazily โlikesโ all your social media posts might be seen as wanting to shower you with attention, but itโs possibly all about him. He wants the attention. He wants you to talk about him to his friends. He wants to know that your heart still skips a beat when heโs around, so really, itโs not about you at all. Donโt be flattered.
- He hopes youโll still be down for sex sometime. He obviously liked you before he ghosted you, and now that heโs seeing you looking happy and gorgeous on social media heโs hoping that you can remain an option if he needs one in future when heโs bored or horny on a Saturday night. By โlikingโ his way into your good books again, he can booty call you at a later date without feeling weird about it. Oh, hell no.
- He wants you to think heโs into you. Heโs an arrogant guy who thinks that he can waltz back into your life in any shape or form and get a standing ovation. He might even do this just to stroke his own ego, to show himself that he can still get you to be interested if he wants.
- Heโs feeling nostalgic. When he saw you looking happy on Instagram, he couldnโt help but be transported back in time to when the two of you were together, so he ended up going through all your posts on his little nostalgic trip. It doesnโt mean he wants to have another shot with you, though. If he did, heโd be putting loads more effort than just โlikingโ a beach selfie, for goodnessโ sake.
- He feels guilty. Maybe his social media antics are just about feeling guilty for what he did โ and he should be torn up about it because he missed out on an amazing woman! Either way, donโt feel sorry for him. Heโs a jerk if he thinks โlikingโ your social media posts is going to make up for what he did to you.
- He wants to know if youโve moved on. He was on social media and decided to check out your Facebook profile since youโre still listed as friends. He wanted to see what youโve been up to and if youโre dating someone else. He โlikedโ your pictures because he likes that youโre still single. He might be one of those competitive guys who doesnโt want to be with you but doesnโt want you to be with anyone else either. And, if youโre still single, then thereโs always hope for a little catch-up between the sheets (or so he thinks).
- Itโs just a few โlikesโ โ itโs not that deep. Of course, thereโs always the chance that this guy is really just โlikingโ everyoneโs posts. Check out some of his other friends or followers to see if heโs โlikingโ their holiday snaps and status updates. Itโs good to bear in mind that a โlikeโ doesnโt have to mean anything more. If they bother you, you should just block the guy. After he ghosted you, he deserves it.
What to do when you like a guy and he ghosted you
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- Donโt blame yourself. Itโs so easy to take ghosting personally when really, it has nothing to do with you. This guy didnโt go AWOL from your life because you were deficient in some way or because you did something wrong. He did it because heโs an immature jerk who doesnโt know how to communicate his feelings and likely has a fear of commitment. That has nothing to do with you, so donโt internalize this as a rejection. Itโs not.
- Practice self-care. When you were getting your hopes up about a guy and end up getting ghosted, youโre going to feel crushed. While itโs easy for your friends to say that heโs not worth your time and you shouldnโt bother thinking about him, it doesnโt work like that. Your feelings are valid and important. Feel them, and then look after yourself as you process them. Be gentle with yourself by eating well, looking after your body, and doing things that make you feel good. Take long baths or long walks, get some extra sleep, and make sure youโre being good to you.
- Donโt bother chasing him. As tempting as it is to go after the guy who ghosted you and convince him to stick around, donโt bother. If he was worth your time, he wouldnโt have wasted it by getting you interested only to leave without a trace just when things were getting good. If he could up and walk out of your life without a second thought now, what kind of potential partner would he make? Not a good one, thatโs for sure. Itโs better to let him go now and wait for someone who sees your worth and treats you accordingly.
- Act like he doesnโt exist. He ghosted you, so act like heโs a ghost. Forget him. Consider him dead and gone. Go about your life as if youโd never met him. It will be hard at first, but the more you do it, the easier it will become. Keep your eyes and heart open to other people who you may have a deeper connection with and who arenโt afraid of being vulnerable and giving a relationship their all.
- Donโt respond if and when he comes back from the dead. Who cares if he starts liking your social media posts after a little while? That doesnโt mean you have to acknowledge it or respond. Heโs being a coward by making his presence known without actually contacting you to apologize for being a jerk and trying to make it up to you. Whatโs his point, really? Does he think youโre going to come running to him and beg him to start dating you again? If so, he has another thing coming.