How to Write Your Own Wedding Vows—Plus, 30 Examples from Real Couples

The vow exchange is, without a doubt, one of the most important parts of a wedding. In this pivotal moment—which typically takes place during the ceremony, right before the ring exchange and pronouncement of marriage—you and your partner will deliver promises to one another that you intend to uphold throughout your married lives. Not only will these words elevate your big day, but they’ll also set the tone for the next chapter in your relationship. 

While some choose to utter traditional vows based on their religion or culture, others decide to write personalized messages to their future spouse. Composing your own wedding vows gives you the opportunity to create promises that resonate with you, vocalize your love and hopes in front of your friends and family, and provide a deeper look at your love story. By reciting original, heartfelt words, you’ll infuse your service with romance, emotion, and personality, making any nuptials more meaningful, intimate, and compelling. With personalized wedding vows, you can include virtually anything that reflects your relationship and captures your intentions for the future, whether it’s a sentimental tale about the first time you met or a humorous narrative that pokes fun at your partner’s quirks. You can also further customize this component by exchanging your messages during your first look, on your honeymoon, or at any other time that feels right to you.

Writing your own wedding vows is undeniably touching, but it’s also a tremendous undertaking: You might feel the pressure to perfectly and authentically capture your love, hopes, and promises—a feat that may seem impossible, given that this oath typically lasts about one to two minutes. And finding the words alone to express these sentiments might seem futile. 

If you’re thinking about personalizing your promises but you’re uncertain where to start, you’re experiencing writer’s block, or you’re simply overwhelmed by the process, we’re here to help. Below, we created a complete guide to writing your own wedding vows, including a template, expert tips, and examples from real couples. Read on for all of the advice and inspiration you need to nail your vows.

A Template to Follow When Writing Your Wedding Vows

While traditional wedding vows tend to follow a specific structure, your handwritten promises can take on any format and include any content you see fit. To help you get started, follow the below outline.

Say "I Love You"

This seems like a no-brainer, but Monique Honaman, wedding officiant, author, and speaker, says many couples forget to mention these three powerful words. Whether you start or end your pledge with the sentiment, make sure you utter "I love you" at some point.

Reaffirm Your Unwavering Support

Most wedding vows touch on standing by one another's side, through good times and bad. "The reality is: All marriages have cycles of peaks and valleys," Honaman says. "It's nice to communicate your intent to get through those valleys together."

Share Personal Stories

Recounting romantic stories about how you knew your significant other was "the one," laugh-out-loud accounts of how your first date went horribly wrong, or inspiring narratives about overcoming challenging times will make your ceremony more interesting and moving for everyone in attendance. “Guests (and your S.O.) want to hear vows that are real," says Alexis Dent, founder XO Juliet. "If you've been through bumpy spots, you should express that.”

Include Real Promises

Vows aren't just cute anecdotes—they're a serious, lifelong commitment that you’re making in front of many witnesses. In addition to raw, personal moments, make sure to share concrete promises that you'll continuously uphold throughout your marriage. These pledges don't have to be heavy, though. “You can vow to not only stick by their side forever, but to also be the one to kill spiders whenever they creep their way into your home,” Dent offers.

Acknowledge and Request Additional Support

You've gathered your friends and family to celebrate your wedding, but their love and support won't end there—you'll need their guidance throughout your marriage. Honaman recommends acknowledging the role that your loved ones have played in enhancing your relationship. Then, call on them for additional assistance in the future.

Tips to Keep in Mind When Writing Your Wedding Vows

With the above template in mind, it's time to put pen to paper. To make the writing process as smooth as possible, we asked the experts to share their top tips for composing your wedding vows.

Start Well in Advance

Throughout the course of your wedding-planning journey, keeping your personalized wedding vows at the back of your mind, thinking about which stories you'll want to share and promises you'll want to make, will make the writing process more efficient and your vows more substantial. Although you can write your vows at any moment, make sure you have a final copy at least three weeks before your big day.

Discuss Your Expectations

Before jotting down your wedding vows, make sure to consult your partner about your expectations, so the two of you are on the same page. Plan to come to a consensus about the length of your vows, when you'll recite them, who will say them first, the tone, and how personal you intend to make them.

Jot Your Thoughts Down

To jumpstart the writing process, start by jotting down all of the thoughts that come to mind about your partner and relationship. Beginning with a brain dump will allow your feelings to flow freely, while alleviating any pressure to nail the wording right away. After you get everything on paper, highlight your favorite items and use them in the final copy.

Write No More Than Three Drafts

Writing a few drafts is an important part of the writing process, but continuously workshopping your wedding vows will only backfire—you'll start overthinking every word and lose sight of the bigger picture. Take a few days—even a week—in between edits, so you can revisit your words with more clarity.

Add Only the Important Details

Since you've likely been with your partner for years, you might feel tempted to include everything the two of you have done and every moment you've shared together. Instead of adding an overwhelming amount of information—which will only lose your guests when you recite them—pick the most important details, such as the first time you met or when you said "I love you."

Avoid Absolute Words

When making promises, avoid using absolute words like "always" and "never." Vowing to do something all of the time, such as taking out the trash, or never at all, such as disappointing your future spouse, is a huge commitment that's impossible to live up to.

Embrace Sentimentality

There's no better time to be sentimental than your vow exchange. If the message feels true to you, don't worry about coming across as corny. "If the words are heartfelt, then they're not cheesy," says JP Reynolds, a nondenominational wedding officiant. "I've never heard vows that made me roll my eyes."

Lean on Humor

Sharing promises with your partner doesn't have to be serious; lighthearted messages filled with humor will make the moment more relatable, personal, and enjoyable. Plus, scoring a smile and laugh from your significant other (and the rest of your guests) will feel especially rewarding.

Seek Inspiration from Pop Culture

Movies, TV shows, books, and songs are filled with eloquent words and messages that capture the experience of being in love. To express your feelings, consider quoting a passage from your favorite book or a line from your favorite film in your personalized wedding vows. If nothing accurately describes your emotions, you can always use these examples as a starting point.

Make a Fresh Copy for the Ceremony

When you vocalize your vows at the altar, your guests will be able to see the medium that you're reading from. “Yes, the focus will be on the words themselves, but the aesthetics matter, too,” Dent points out. A scratched-out notepad might not be the best choice for your service. Instead, print a fresh copy or write them in a vow booklet.

Stash Them in a Safe Place

In the months and weeks leading up to your ceremony, store the physical copy of your handwritten wedding vows in a secret spot—far away from your future spouse's field of view. "Your vows are a gift to one another, so don't share them ahead of time," Reynolds explains. It will make the ceremony all the more impactful and emotional if you're hearing them for the first time.

Tips for Delivering Your Personalized Wedding Vows

Once you've finalized your wedding vows, you'll need to rehearse them in order to nail your day-of delivery. Here are some tips to recite your promises like an orator, according to the experts.

Practice Out Loud

Practice makes perfect. To give you the confidence to deliver your vows on the big day, practice reading your heartfelt promises aloud. This practice will also help you gauge whether your promises are clear and complete. “Reading your vows out loud will help you catch spots where the grammar might be iffy or where you’re missing a word, as well as figure out if the structure is cohesive,” Dent explains.

Indicate Pauses and Intonation

Since your vows are filled with meaning, speaking quickly and mumbling will detract from the moment and prevent your audience from engaging with the content. "You’ll want to allow time to laugh or tear up without interrupting your flow," Dent notes. "For the best comprehension and emotional reactions, take it slow and focus on breaks, pauses, and intonation.”

Ask a Trusted Friend to Listen

To prepare for the actual vow exchange, ask a close friend who is a great sounding board (and a pro at keeping secrets) to listen as you rehearse. “They can give you constructive criticism and help you improve your vows to make sure you really get that meaning across,” Dent explains.

30 Examples of Personalized Wedding Vows from Real Couples

If you're still unsure what to write in your wedding vows, we've compiled a list of 30 examples from real couples to inspire you.

Poetic Personalized Wedding Vows

Want your wedding vows to read like a literary work? Take a look at the below examples, which are infused with eloquent words and touching stories, for inspiration.

• "Gabriel, you came into my life at exactly the right time: When I wasn't ready, and yet, when I needed your love the most. In the past two years, we've experienced great triumphs and literal disasters together. These trials have pushed the boundaries of what we thought we could endure, and in the end, I feel more strongly connected with you in a resolve to get up and try again. I love you dearly for all that you are. I am amazed by your inquisitive mind and tickled by your sense of humor. I may not want to admit it, but I even love your awful puns. As your wife, I promise to love you with the same determination and confidence you've given me. I vow to support you through more ups and downs. I pledge to commit myself to our family and the good I know will grow from it. I promise this all to you until I am no more." — Marissa
• "Never could I've imagined that the best gift of my entire life would come from my 21st birthday party. Not a materialistic item given from one person to another, but a life, a soul, and a connection given to two at the same time. That's the night we met by nothing but chance of a friend of a friend of a friend inviting you. The night that forever entangled our energies and our atoms. Our paths would have never crossed and I would never have met my soulmate if it weren't for that silly celebration of age." — Andrew
• "Andrew, you are the partner I've always longed for, and this day is nothing short of my wildest dreams. I went home after that night and saved every measly penny I made at my retail job for weeks until I could afford to take you out to dinner. Every day feels like I'm remembering who you are instead of getting to know you. Your light is blinding, your laughter is contagious, and your love is otherworldly." — Caterina
  
• "Andrew, my best friend, my compass, my husband from this day forward. You are the greatest, most magnificent man I've ever know. I never believed much in destiny or fate until it led me to you. I'd always thought that it would be difficult to find someone who will love me when I'm always scattered in a thousand pieces—kind of like trying to finish a puzzle when you aren't even sure if you have all the right pieces in front of you. But then you showed me that every piece doesn't have to be perfectly in place to create something beautiful. You welcomed Macy and Stella with open arms and loved them just as your own. So today in front of our family and friends I promise you these things: I promise to love you unconditionally and without hesitation. I promise to always try to give you the best of myself, and even though I can't promise that our love will be perfect, I can promise you that it will be beautiful, whether we're a thousand pieces or just one." — Kaitlin
  
• "Devin Lee, it is impossible for me to put into words the passionate and infinite embrace you have on my heart. You make me a full person. Committing the rest of my life to you is actually pretty easy because without you, I am nothing. As we begin our life together, in front of those whom we are closest to, I make the following vows: I vow to wake up every morning and thank God that he gave me you, my perfect woman, and I vow to be your steady rock in turbulent times. I vow to put your needs before my own. I vow to be the man that you inspire me to be and the man that you deserve. Finally, I vow to spend every day I have left on this Earth showering you with a zealous love and a faithful commitment. A love that many waters cannot quench, a love that floods cannot drown." — Jeremy
  

Humorous Personalized Wedding Vows

For a more lighthearted approach, consider embracing your sense of humor. Here are examples of funny wedding vows that will make everyone laugh.

• "Marissa, I love you with all my heart. I have been thankful for these past two years that you were not the best driver on that fateful day. Stopping in the middle of a busy 90/04 to see if everyone was OK, there I met the woman who is standing before me today. When we started dating, I gained a family, a woman who loves me, and an adorable whippet—both of whom I adore with all my heart. We have survived trials and tribulations; from Hurricane Irma to differing political views, we have pulled through. I promise to take care of you even when you get food poisoning on New Year's Eve. I promise I will unclog the shower even though only one of us has long hair. Marissa, I love you unconditionally and always will." — Gabriel
• “There is an infinite number of things I love about you: I love your thoughtfulness and your ability to keep me grounded. I love your loyalty to me and our relationship. I love the way you weirdly get excited about Chipotle water, and I love how when you laugh really hard, your one eye starts to crinkle up. I promise to be patient with you, even if it means that I have to listen to how you should have started that one player on your Fantasy Football bench every single Sunday during football season.” — Chelsey
  
• "Kristen, as the cliché says, you showed up when I was least expecting you. I intend to love you, hold you, and grow very, very old with you. These are my promises: I promise to always be there when you have troubles and to know that sometimes, simply letting you talk about your problems is enough. I promise to be the most dependable person in your life. I promise you that laughter will always be commonplace in our house. I promise to do my best to age gracefully in body and soul and not to become a cranky old man." — Dennis
• “Do you remember the day when I knew for a fact that I was going to marry you? I don’t think we’d ever forget that day…She fell flat on her face, chipped her two front teeth—sorry, dad, we didn’t tell you this one. We got them fixed immediately. And I just remember thinking that this girl has literally fallen for me. She is literally head over heels in love.” — Justin
  
• “Kaleb, before God and everyone else, I vow to let you watch college football whenever you want. And I hope I don’t regret saying that.” — Jeanine 
• "I vow to never make you read books. I vow to attend any doctor's appointment if it will make you feel better." — Kyle

Romantic Personalized Wedding Vows

Wedding vows that are written from the heart are inherently romantic, but if you want yours to focus on loving promises and sweet memories, take cues from the below examples.

• "Alicia, it was 2013, but it feels like only yesterday when a beautiful, tall young lady took my breath away. Who would have guessed back then that we would be standing where we are today. In a matter of seven years, we have seen the world, made memories, friendships, and a trusting bond that will last a lifetime. And I can only imagine what we can achieve in the years to come. It's the small things about you that make you shine so brightly. I would say your smile is something I would wake up to a million times. But we both know it's the fuzzy-hair, grummy Alicia that truly shines when I'm pulling you out of bed in the morning. I promise to always be there for you. I'll trust you, care for you, but most of all, I will always love you." — Cam
• "Statistics say there is a one in four hundred trillion chance of being born. That means the chance of meeting the perfect woman, wife, and mother is even more slim than that, but somehow, I managed to do it. Every time I sat down to write my vows, my hands would cramp. Just to show me how painful love could be. My pencil kept breaking just to show me that love always takes a little more work than you planned. I do believe in fate and destiny but also believe the choices we make play a huge role in that. If I had to choose, I would choose you in 100 lifetimes, and in 100 worlds, I would find you and I would choose you." — Andrew
• “I promise to get out of bed and make you coffee in the morning before you wake up. I promise to bring you flowers for no particular reason other than it’s Tuesday. I promise to flirt with you and remind you how unbelievably attractive you are. I promise to always make our marriage a priority and work every day to better ourselves. I promise to build a home with you, a home that is a refuge for us. I promise to love you, Melissa, no matter what.” — Brendon
  
• "Isabelle, with you, every day feels like a new adventure. I've learned so much about myself just by being with you. When things get tough, it's your faith in me that pushes me forward. We've laughed together, tackled some hurdles, and made big plans for our future. I promise to not just stand by your side, but to be your biggest fan, cheering you on. Our love? It's in our inside jokes, the way we can understand each other with just a look, the way we make up after a silly argument, and our shared dreams. Every morning and every night, I'm reminded of how lucky I am to have you. Together, we make a pretty great team. Here's to us and all the adventures waiting around the corner." — Leo

Religious Personalized Wedding Vows

If you've opted to write your own wedding vows in lieu of traditional ones but you still want them to have somewhat of a religious tone, read these examples for inspiration.

• "Gabriel, about 10 years ago, he walked into a choir practice room that I was in, plucking very poorly at the piano. You asked me if there was anything you could pray about. I said no, but if I would have known you would take the next six years to get the courage to ask me on a date, I might have asked you to pray on that. Little did I know that on your own, you were praying to God to make me your wife. Gabe, you are the best, good gift God could have sent my way. You are determined and hardworking. You are as patient as you are kind. I love your heart, and I love your mind. I love how you love others. You make me feel loved and accepted." — Karina
• "Jeremy, I can't say we fell in love at first sight or that I wasn't hesitant to go on a date with a co-worker, but I can say with 100-percent certainty that today, I am marrying my soulmate. A few years back, I heard a sermon about love. I learned that, even though I felt ready for the responsibilities of a lasting love, I had to wait. I had to wait for the person God created for me to be ready as well. During our first few months, I learned about your adventures and how you came back home because you were ready—from that moment on, I knew my wait was over." — Devin Lee
• "Katrina, this day has been a long time coming, at least for me. The first time I saw you, I was struck by how beautiful you were. I thought for sure you were out of my league. I started praying to God every day for His help and for a sign to show me that you were the one. And as it says in "Song of Solomon" Chapter 3, Verse 4, I have found the one my soul loves." — Gabriel
• "Heather, four years ago when I first met you, I never thought that God would lead us to where we are today. You've taught me so much about life. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me, next to my salvation. You're smart, beautiful, forgiving, selfless, and determined. I promise to respect and support you, to be patient and loving towards you, to work by your side to achieve the same things that we value and dream of, and to savor our time together." — Cody
• "Cody, you're the answer to my prayers. You have exceeded every expectation and dream I've ever had. Today, surrounded by people that love us, I vow to walk alongside you for the rest of my days. I promise to support you in all that you do and encourage you every step of the way. I promise to cover you in prayer, speak words of kindness, and do my very best to be patient. I will choose you and only you from this day forward, and I will be faithful to you until God calls us home. This is my promise to you and to God for eternity." — Heather
  
• "I vow to always be your protector and confidante, responsible for making sure your every need is met, every want is reached, and every dream realized. It's said that he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from God. From this life we have built to get to this moment, this great moment in our life, looking into your beautiful eyes, I vow to always be your good thing, with love in my heart, always by your side, to my last breath. I love you." — Marquise
• "Bailey, when the Lord brought you into my life, He told me I needed to learn three things: the art of patience, how to fight for us, and how to love you when it's hard. All of this time, He's been preparing me to become the husband that you deserve. May the vows we take today echo into eternity, the faithfulness of our Savior, and the strength of His love." — Joshua

Simple Personalized Wedding Vows

Your promises can say so much with so little. Here are a few examples of simple wedding vows that have a big impact.

• "Joshua, as we both know, in the area of marriage, I used to come from doubt. Now I come from hope. I used to come from fear, and now I come from love. Thank you for the reminder of the Lord's faithfulness to me." — Bailey
• "I call you 'My Megan' because you are my everything. You are my light, and you've shown me more love than I've ever known." — Ronnie
  
• "I, Daniela, take you, Megan, to be my wife, my best friend, and partner. I will work to create a bond of honesty, respect, acceptance, and gratitude; one that withstands the tides of time and changes and grows along with us." — Daniela
• “I take you to be my partner for life. I promise, above all else, to live in truth with you and to communicate fully and fearlessly. I give you my hand and my heart as a sanctuary of warmth and peace and pledge my love, devotion, faith, and honor as I join my life to yours.” — Anne
• "You are my lover and my teacher, you are my model and my accomplice, and you are my true counterpart. I will love you, hold you, and honor you. I will respect you, encourage you, and cherish you, in health and sickness, through sorrow and success, for all the days of my life." — Amy
• "I swear to you that I will continue to dedicate all the days of my life to filling our days with beauty and laughter. I will celebrate your spirit and all of your accomplishments, work to inspire you, and be here to remind you of your beauty and strength. You are my partner, my confidant, my other half, and I will love you for the rest of my life." — Nicole
• “My favorite Miami Dolphins player said it best: ‘Observing you has been inspiring, being with you has been fulfilling, and loving you is easy.’” — Bri
• "I vow to take care of you and support you in every way. I will be patient and trustworthy. I vow to always love you and remind you that I love you. I will always be here for you. I am so excited to see where life takes us from here. You are my world, my everything." — Jeffrey