Tip Sheet: An Admissions Dean Offers Advice on Writing a College Essay

By Martha C. Merrill
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Periodically, in a feature called “Tip Sheet,” The Choice will post short items by admissions officers, guidance counselors and others to help applicants and their families better understand aspects of the admissions process. As an inaugural post in this series, Martha C. Merrill, the dean of admission and financial aid of Connecticut College, and a graduate of the class of 1984, encourages incoming high school seniors to begin contemplating their college essays this summer. She also offers perspective on what she looks for in an applicant’s essay.

Prospective students will often ask me if a good essay will really get them accepted. The truth is that while no essay will make an unqualified student acceptable, a good essay can help a qualified applicant stand out from the competition. A good essay just might be what turns a “maybe” into a “yes.”

The college application process takes time, preparation and creativity, which is a lot for any active senior to handle. Summer, however, typically offers about 10 weeks free of classes and homework and many of the other stresses that come with high school. The pressure of the looming college application deadline is still months away, which allows students the freedom to play around with different ideas, test different angles and solicit feedback from friends and family.

Another reason to focus your summer energy on crafting a quality essay: at this point in the admission process, it is one of the few things you can still control. This is your chance to show us what you are capable of when you have time to think, prepare, rewrite and polish.

While there is no magic formula for the perfect admission essay, there are a few things prospective college students should know. Here are my Top Ten tips:

  • Write about yourself. A great history paper on the Civil War might be very well written, but it doesn’t tell me anything about the writer. Regardless of the topic, make sure you shine through your essay.
  • Use your own voice. I can tell the difference between the voice of a 40-year-old and a high school senior.
  • Focus on one aspect of yourself. If you try to cover too many topics in your essay, you’ll end up with a resume of activities and attributes that doesn’t tell me as much about you as an in-depth look at one project or passion.

  • Be genuine. Don’t try to impress me, because I’ve heard it all. Just tell me what is important to you.
  • Consider a mundane topic. Sometimes it’s the simple things in life that make the best essays. Some of my favorites have included essays that reflect on the daily subway ride to school, or what the family goldfish observed from the fishbowl perched on the family kitchen table. It doesn’t have to be a life-changing event to be interesting and informative.
  • Don’t rely on “how to” books. Use them to get your creative juices flowing, but don’t adhere too rigidly to their formulas, and definitely don’t use their example topics. While there are always exceptions, the “what my room says about me” essay is way overdone.
  • Share your opinions, but avoid anything too risky or controversial. Your essay will be read by a diverse group of individuals from a wide range of backgrounds, so try to appeal to the broadest audience possible.
  • Tell a good story. Show me why you are compassionate; don’t tell me you are. Show me that you have overcome great difficulty; don’t start your essay with “I have overcome great difficulties.”
  • Don’t repeat what is already in your application. If you go to a performing arts school and all of your extracurricular activities and awards relate to dance, don’t write about how much you love dancing. Tell me something I couldn’t know just from reading the other parts of your application.
  • Finally, don’t forget about the supplements. The supplement questions are very important – you should plan to spend as much time on them as you do on your essay. A well-written essay won’t help if your supplement answers are sloppy and uninformative.

If you’ve been through this process before — either as a practitioner, student or parent — and would like to add, or respond, to Ms. Merrill’s list, use the comment box below. If you’d like to propose a future subject for “Tip Sheet” — one you’d want to read, or perhaps even propose writing — please send a short email message to us at thechoice@nytimes.com

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mary June 23, 2009 · 1:25 pm

Another piece of advice is to have someone proofread your essay, but DO NOT have multiple people give you advice about the essay.

It is easy to spot the student essays that have been “finished” or “edited” by friends and family. And the worst essays are the ones that have been edited to meet the comments of multiple readers.

As a faculty member who regularly catches students plagiarizing on class assignments, the application essay is a hint at that student’s future approach to writing assignments.

Mike June 23, 2009 · 1:31 pm

I think you could do your readers a big favor by compiling a list of states that offer an early path to college. Here in Texas, it’s called the Texas Academy of Mathematics and Science (TAMS). It’s a two-year program at the Univ. of North Texas in Denton for high school juniors & seniors; it has about 400 students total. Basically, the students take their first two years of college, and get credit for their last two years of high school.

My wife and I have two children, both graduated from TAMS. Best thing is, the state covers tuition, fees, and books; only cost to us was room & board and a program fee.

check it out by googling “tams”. I have some PDFs I could email you, too, if you’re interested.

Mike Murphy
Dripping Springs, TX

kamban June 23, 2009 · 1:44 pm

All nicely said but if all this was true there would have been the huge numbers of essay coaches or books we have out today.

Ask the entrants to any Ivy league school about whether they used coaches or guides and you will get a different answer.

Sean O’Doherty June 23, 2009 · 1:45 pm

it would be good to start thinking about this college application essay… (still a year away)

B.S.B. Princeton June 23, 2009 · 1:50 pm

Ms. Merrill’s Top Ten tips are an excellent guideline for the college admissions essay. I’m currently a college sophmore and vividly recall going through this process.
One additional tip I would add is keep it lite. I think college admissions panels are tired of reading about how you spent your summer wielding a hammer for Habitat for Humanity or ladling soup in a homeless shelter.

been through it before June 23, 2009 · 1:57 pm

Forget the essay – play a sport and be really, really good at it. If you are also a decent student that will be your ticket. Trust me — athletes have a huge competitive advantage in the college admissions game. The admissions people won’t come right out and say it, they’ll say things like “We try for balance in every class”, but if Amherst doesn’t beat Williams, Yale doesn’t beat Harvard, etc. etc., they will get a lot of pressure. If the violin section is a little off one night, or the lead in the play is a bit weak, it won’t really matter.

I’m not cynical, just realistic.

Harvey Karten June 23, 2009 · 2:05 pm

I would avoid grammatical errors such as Martha’s “I can tell the difference between the voice of a 40-year-old and a high school senior” and Mary’s (reader 1) double error: “As a faculty member who regularly catches students plagiarizing on class assignments, the application essay is a hint at that student’s future approach to writing assignments.”

I’m certain that Martha meant “I can tell the difference between the voice of a 40-year-old and that of a high school senior,” and that Mary meant “As a faculty member who regularly catches students plagiarizing on class assignments, I note that the application essay is a hint at students’ future approaches to writing assignments.”

recent harvard grad June 23, 2009 · 2:10 pm

the best thing you can do is try out a lot of ideas. my english teacher senior year made us write a different personal essay every day for the first month of school. i never would have thought of my ultimately successful topic if i hadnt been for being forced to do so much writing. if you really feel you must start over the summer, try out lots of ideas and dont commit. ask an english teacher or recent ivy grad for advice, your parents may not have the best sense of a relevant and not trite topic.

once you have your topic, draft and fine tune. i went through at least 40 full drafts. luckily my topic answered every essay question i came across.

finally, i think the mundane topics advice is risky. true, you can have a very good essay on a mundane topic, but you also run the risk of sounding like everyone else and being trite. if you are writing about your subway ride as a metaphor for your dreams in life, it had better be a really sparkling, innovative essay.

Kathy Berken June 23, 2009 · 2:14 pm

These tips, while a good guide, are confusing.

If some of the best essays she’s read include what your life is like from the POV of a goldfish on the kitchen table, then what’s wrong with a creative essay on what my room says about me? That story can be equally as creative.

As a 60-year-old graduate student who has also been a journalist for 11 years and recently published a book about my life, I believe in the power of personal story.

Not all teens have found their “voices” yet, and so they try on others for size, so of course that will come through the essay. But your voice is unique. It’s you. Don’t try to be anybody else.

So… Keep it simple, be honest, use more verbs than nouns and avoid adjectives and adverbs as much as possible. Tell how an experience you had made you feel and what you learned from it.

Describe what sets your heart on fire.

JK June 23, 2009 · 2:18 pm

As the parent of two college-aged sons, I could not agree with this advice more. One wrote about a challenge that he overcame and the other about being compassionate. Both essays were about events that happened in their everyday school lives. Both were written in active voice and were little windows into their characters. Neither used the words challenge or compassionate. I am convinced that it was the strength and sincerity of their essays that opened the doors at the top schools that said “Yes” to my sons. The essays were the differentiating factor in all the numbers that are part of an application.
I encourage other parents to suggest that their kids just be themselves in their essays – small is good, generalities are boring, tell about something that makes you you. Oh, and read The Gatekeepers – – it offers the best insights into the college admissions process of any of the dozens of books I read on the topic.

Doc June 23, 2009 · 2:19 pm

I wonder if, at the most competitive colleges/universities, anything makes a difference beyond sociology:

My daughter is a National Merit Finalist (actually won a National Merit Scholarship at a school she chose not to attend), had an “unweighted” GPA over 3.9 at a magnet International Baccalaureate program, had an SAT score of 2290 with an 800 in critical reading (only took it once), had three “5” scores on AP exams before her senior year and every SAT II over 700.
She was accepted at every small college she applied. Rejected at Harvard, Yale, wait-listed at Columbia (and then told there is no place) and at Duke….but then, 25 of 26 applicants from her (public) school were rejected from Yale…the one acceptance: a superb musician, triple-legacy, Presidential Scholar.
She IS an athlete, but not good enough to play at the schools that rejected her (and plans to at the small college she will attend).
Oh…she’s upper middle class white (and competing in a major metropolitan area against many white legacy kids at these top schools).

Banty June 23, 2009 · 2:21 pm

“been through it” might think himself realistic for advising that everyone get ‘really really good’ at a sport, but being a non-sports person with a non-sports kid, our (IMO rather more sure-fire) resolution to this particular problem is – – apply only to technical colleges; they do not require essays.

Tongue only partly in cheek…

Leah V June 23, 2009 · 2:31 pm

Not all Ivy League admits use coaches or guides- I didn’t.

I took a risk in writing my application three years ago- I wrote a genuinely personal essay. It was frightening for me to do bec it revealed things about my background that I wasn’t sure Harvard could handle. But it was a risk that paid off.
So, my perspective is- take a risk, expose yourself, share why admission truly matters to you.

Darlene June 23, 2009 · 2:37 pm

Thank you, Ms. Merrill. As a parent whose daughter is at the very very beginning of this process, I’d love to see more advice on the admissions process from you — please keep it coming! And thank you NYT for passing along practical, applicable information.

Jeannie Borin June 23, 2009 · 4:08 pm

Most college admission officers agree that a student’s character is the most difficult thing to measure on the application. College essays are the place for students to reveal their personal stories in an authentic, engaging and sincere way . In addition to what has already been mentioned, it’s important to read the essay prompts carefully and understand the intent of the question.

~ Jeannie Borin, M.Ed.

Barbara June 23, 2009 · 4:11 pm

Some advice that not every student would need, but could be helpful to many:

1 – Don’t try to sound too “intellectual,” if that means stuffing the essay with high-brow vocabulary that you would never use in an ordinary conversation. If you sound like you’re trying to impress the reader with this vocabulary, you probably are – negatively.

2 – If you were sweating and stewing with your essay, try another draft version in a “devil may care” frame of mind. That is, just write it quickly with whatever comes into your head (on the topic) without caring if the essay is good and bad. Then let a trusted person compare the versions. Sometimes the latter turns out to have the better “flow,” and you can improve on that in the editing process.

Colleen June 23, 2009 · 9:15 pm

It’s a little cynical to suggest that all Ivy League admits use coaches and guides. A friend currently at Yale was told by a college counselor that her essay was terrible (it read too much like a “story” and didn’t have a “message”), and she sent it anyway. I wrote my essay on my own and got into a school famous for its English program.
Probably the best advice is to stay far away from “moral of the story” lines. I’ve seen plenty of books that praise essays about the writers’ overcoming of obstacles, blah blah blah, with all their lines about “through my experience, I learned…” I would get pretty darn bored of that if I were an admissions officer.

Milly June 23, 2009 · 10:04 pm

Neither of my children used a coach or had special classes. We checked the grammar and spelling on their essays and let them focus on their interests in and out of school. One is at an Ivy one is at a small, tier one school. I expect the one going to the small school will get the better education.

Barbara June 24, 2009 · 7:06 am

Some advice that not every student would need, but could be helpful to many:

1 – Don’t try to sound too “intellectual,” if that means stuffing the essay with high-brow vocabulary that you would never use in an ordinary conversation. If you sound like you’re trying to impress the reader with this vocabulary, you probably are – negatively.

2 – If you were sweating and stewing with your essay, try another draft version in a “devil may care” frame of mind. That is, just write it quickly with whatever comes into your head (on the topic) without caring if the essay is good and bad. Then let a trusted person compare the versions. Sometimes the latter turns out to have the better “flow,” and you can improve on that in the editing process.
P.S. – Sorry, forgot to tell you great post!

Banty June 24, 2009 · 7:47 am

Barbara’s #2 is a great solution to any time one gets ‘writer’s block’. From Thank You notes to funding proposals, it works. Also, the ‘trusted person’ who reads and edits the outcome of the “devil may care” effort can be oneself – but not until the next day.

John Black June 24, 2009 · 7:48 am

Read the essay to someone else. Read it as if you are telling a story. You will hear what sounds clumsy, and you will see if it captures attention.

Saul Ricklin June 24, 2009 · 3:37 pm

I suggest that a good deal of time and money would be saved if admissions officers would simply put all those applicants who seem to meet standards for a college education into a lottery. That random choice is fair and is better than officers playing God as to who is fit to adorn their insitution,

Pratik June 24, 2009 · 4:47 pm

My College Admissions Essays:

1. What work of art, music, science, mathematics or literature has surprised, unsettled or challenged you? : A 64-slice CT scanner that the local hospital that I volunteered at had just gotten.

2. What’s your favorite word and why?: Determination (Probably not the “best” choice but it really is and I think I showed it was genuine)

3. Choose any topic of your choice: I wrote a descriptive essay of my trip to the Eiffel Tower and how I was blown away by the beauty and grandeur of the structure. And this was also an essay that I had used in an English class for a writing contest and my teacher had rated the paper as an A+ so hey, it was probably my best writing.

Currently at the University of Virginia as a 3rd year student.

senior June 24, 2009 · 4:49 pm

Admissions does sometimes seem like a lottery…

And Doc? Does your daughter’s school mascot happen to be a rocket? I think I go to the same school, based on the information you gave.

’13 June 24, 2009 · 11:43 pm

As someone who was admitted to some Ivy Leagues and waitlisted at some Ivy Leagues, and who played a sport but was not recruited, I must say that the essay was probably the key in helping me stand out from the thousands of middle-class, white, suburban applicants.

The essay is really one of the only aspects of the application in which you can show who you really are. Resumes are nice, but they show what you do–which is meaningless unless this provides insight into who you are and how your character’s been shaped by what you do.

I’m sure many people would probably make blanket statements that are hard to understand…”don’t write about something too grandiose” “don’t write about something too mundane” “don’t make it too intellectual-sounding” “don’t make it sound like intellectualism is not a part of your life”–but the best advice I can give is figure out a writing style that works for you, and run with it. If you look hard enough, you will find people in your life who know you well enough to give you tips on your writing style while staying true to yourself and making it genuine. Take this advice with a grain of salt. Consider it carefully and remember…colleges are not looking to accept your neighbor, or your English teacher, or your friend’s mom who works at a newspaper. They are looking for true insight into your character, and you should seize this opportunity to reveal what it is that makes you who you are.