Remember when Dylan Sprouse was busted for cheating on his long time girlfriend via Instagram? Or the time Beyonce's Lemonade showed us that her marriage with Jay-Z wasn't as perfect as we once thought? Although it's hard to not take sides and throw shade, let's be real, relationships are always more difficult IRL than they appear on the surface. Especially with technology perpetuating our ability to connect with others, "cheating" is probably something you've thought about more than a few times if you've ever been in a relationship. That's why I decided to talk to teens around the world about their thoughts and feelings regarding cheating.
Here's what they had to say...
"My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years technically, but in that time I've also had crushes. I'm not sure if you'd classify this as 'cheating' or not, but I'm definitely not always loyal emotionally in the same why I am physically to him." —Rebecca, 17
"I'm in a serious relationship right now, although I definitely still insta-flirt with other people. I would never actually kiss anyone else though." —Zoe, 13
"After I fell in love with Allison at camp, we decided that we should be long-distance. On our last night together, we said 'I love you' over cheeseburgers and ice cream and cried. However when we both went back to school, things were different. A few weeks into the school year, I starting talking to someone at a party and developed the biggest crush on them, ever. It was confusing and I felt super guilty the whole time because I was not only in a relationship, but he was also a boy. Eventually, this confused me so much that I ended up breaking up with Allison. I never ended up kissing the boy in the end, but through this experience I realized that my sexuality was far more complex than I initially thought." —Cara, 19
"I cheated on my first boyfriend and regretted it for years. I think it takes great emotional strength and self-respect to be in a healthy and stable relationship. For me, being loved is more difficult than loving." —Sammy, 19
“I cheated on my first boyfriend. I felt so awful about it for months, even months after we broke up. However, as much as I wanted to blame myself for everything that happened, he wasn’t giving me what I needed emotionally and therefore it felt like I had no choice but to seek validation and attention elsewhere. From this I learned that cheating usually involves both people in the relationship, and the blame shouldn't be just placed on one person.” —Samantha, 16
"I've been cheated on a few times and all of them have completely shattered me emotionally. It's really hard to regain trust afterwards, and it definitely hurt my confidence. That being said, you should know that the pain didn't last forever and I definitely came out stronger in the end." —Cameron, 19
“I’ve been both cheated on and I’ve cheated on people. I think when there isn’t enough communication in a relationship, cheating tends to happen. I really think relationships are more emotionally complicated than people admit." —Maxine, 19
"I've cheated on my current boyfriend a few times and he still has no idea. It makes me feel so guilty when I think about it for too long, but they were all accidents and meant nothing. I'm not sure what I'll do if he finds out because if we broke up I'd be devastated." —Payton, 17
"I definitely had an issue with cheating for a while. When anyone said they loved me, it was hard for me to believe and I'd end up cheating on them. It took a lot of thinking, self-reflection and ruined relationships to finally stop cheating. My biggest advice? Try to let yourself feel loved, if you can allow it. The more you reject it, the more likely you'll seek attention from someone else." —Harper, 19
"My last relationship lasted almost two years. It was complicated towards the end, but I think we really loved each other and probably still do. I didn't cheat on her, but at the end there were definitely emotional affairs on both of our parts. I started hanging out with a new group of people, and she started talking to a new 'best friend' every night. I'm not sure if there was anything sexual on either of our parts, but emotionally our needs were being met by people who weren't each other. Right before we broke up, I started wishing that she would just kiss someone else already so that we could have more concrete proof of our relationship ending." —Maddie, 18
"My longtime boyfriend cheated on me a few months ago, and we actually worked through it. I think we're both more in love now because of it all. It wasn't easy though. I'm not saying that cheating will make you closer, but if you're able to recover from something painful and communicate more effectively afterwards, chances are you can work through more difficult issues in the future." —Jack, 18
"I've been cheated on and it was really painful and upsetting to experience. I cried for two months constantly, listened to all the Elliott Smith in the world, and ate a lot of ice cream... However, I also probably came out stronger in the end. If you've recently been cheated on, remember, this isn't a reflection of your value or self-worth and you definitely deserve better." —Tessa, 19
Willa Bennett is a Fellow at Seventeen.com. Follow her on Instagram.
