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[–][deleted]  (213 children)

[deleted]

    [–]dick-nipples 1477 points1478 points  (95 children)

    And it didn't spill on a carpeted area.

    [–]ink_spittin_beaver 766 points767 points  (77 children)

    True, but I have a feeling there will be little red kitty paw prints on the carpet in a matter of time.

    [–]pineapple09 635 points636 points  (69 children)

    And they'll be finding sauce everywhere, for the rest of time. When I was in high school our cat, Jack, somehow jumped into a pot of simmering meatballs and sauce on the stove, and then promptly realized how bad he fucked up. The result was a sauce covered cat in panic mode. We found sauce in crevices and unexpected places for months, maybe years, after the fact.

    Edit: Jack survived the incident and went on to continue being the adorable, furry, saucy asshole that he was.

    [–][deleted] 239 points240 points  (23 children)

    I worked at a pizza place in high school. One day while making sauce in one of those commercial 15 gallon mixers, brilliant me decides that if the sauce takes 10 minutes to mix on speed 1, it should only take 1 minute to mix on speed 10. I patted myself on the back for coming up with such a good idea and happily turned the dial to 10. Only for a second. Because that is exactly how long it took for the entire contents of the mixing bowl to empty themselves all over the prep area. There was sauce everywhere! The place was covered from floor to ceiling in pizza sauce. I spent hours trying to clean the place up before my boss got back but there was no relief in sight. I worked at that pizza place for another year after that and when I left, there was still pizza sauce stains on the walls and ceiling.

    [–]InDiGo- 16 points17 points  (8 children)

    i've only ever mixed pizza sauce by hand. the dough bowl, well i've seen some disasters there. only had one my self tho!

    [–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (2 children)

    We used the same Hobart mixer for both. Turning the speed up before new people made dough for the first time was the prank of choice. After getting covered in flour one time you made it a habit to check the speed every time lol

    [–]Ranxer0x 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    Ahh, those HOBART mixers! I used them in a bakery I worked at. For the sauce, did you use the paddle or whisk attachment? We used the hook for our bread.

    [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    We used the paddle for sauce, and turned the speed way up. Usually we would show people on their first day how to make sauce, then switch to the hook for dough, help them get it loaded up with 20-25lbs of flour, 10-11 lbs of water and some oil and spices. Then we would just...forget...to tell them to turn the speed down and gtfo before they turned it on.

    [–]5thGraderLogic 6 points7 points  (5 children)

    May 2, 2025.

    "Why's there sauce on the ceiling?"

    "Ah, so you haven't yet heard of the Legend of The Rabidpenguin."

    [–]CaptainWigglezz 124 points125 points  (13 children)

    was he ok?

    [–]HilariousScreenname 940 points941 points  (7 children)

    He was delicious.

    [–]Dr_Jackson 48 points49 points  (1 child)

    They didn't slap the lid on fast enough. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    [–]Buddy_Up 45 points46 points  (12 children)

    As you have noticed, you can not write a story like this, without telling if Jack was ok or not.

    [–]joey_knight 70 points71 points  (6 children)

    Jack died on the island. Kate and others escaped.

    [–]SugarandSass 20 points21 points  (2 children)

    Oh god, was Jack ok?

    [–]coolyoo 14 points15 points  (1 child)

    I thought the same thing!

    [–][deleted] 191 points192 points  (60 children)

    Leave it to /u/pornographicnihilism to be a glass half full kind of person.

    [–][deleted]  (58 children)

    [deleted]

      [–][deleted]  (47 children)

      [deleted]

        [–][deleted]  (20 children)

        [deleted]

          [–]BadNewsBarbearian 87 points88 points  (11 children)

          I sell mine at a garage sale ever so often so I don't become too attached.

          [–]AFewStupidQuestions 111 points112 points  (4 children)

          And it just keeps coming back? Spooky.

          [–]billtheangrybeaver 47 points48 points  (9 children)

          I went to grab my crockpot one night I had gotten from my grandmother's when she was put into a home. I was drunk and intent on making that chili but it fell and broke in half. She had died a couple days before, really made me feel awful.

          [–]chillingwithavillain 105 points106 points  (7 children)

          Just get a new one. She'll never find out.

          [–]rreighe2 6 points7 points  (1 child)

          I don't think billtheangry can get a new grandma. They only have one life.

          [–]turbomeat 28 points29 points  (0 children)

          Ya stop crying and Zamboni that shit, house rules

          [–]human8060 7 points8 points  (1 child)

          That was my first thought too. Can always throw together another sauce.

          [–]Lu_the_Mad 3066 points3067 points  (358 children)

          Looks like a win for that cat.

          [–]dick-nipples 1567 points1568 points  (274 children)

          That huge mess, and the cat is fixated on one tiny spot of sauce.

          [–]GrizzlyLeather 389 points390 points  (30 children)

          I could give my cat an entire slice of lunch meat and she would turn her back to it because it disgusts her so much. But give her a dime size or smaller and she will eat it and look to you for more.

          [–]holycrapolaness 205 points206 points  (2 children)

          As any gourmet knows, it's all in the presentation.

          [–]AggregateTurtle 248 points249 points  (6 children)

          ... sooooo... "Human, you always provide me with bite size morsels. You hunted it, YOU CHOP IT UP!"

          [–]-127 206 points207 points  (3 children)

          Stalking lunchmeats through the fluorescently lit aisles. The hunter stops, perching behind a conveniently located barrel of salted peanuts; slowly examining his prey he approaches, distinct, with purpose. He raises his weapon, claws at the hook, and with a rush of clamor the noise of scraping plastic from metal stops with a hushed silence; his prey falls, never to be sold again.

          edit: Golden lunchmeats.

          [–]Amusaru 15 points16 points  (15 children)

          Cats can't really chew all that well. That may be why.

          [–]Moal 12 points13 points  (3 children)

          I just don't understand how cats survive in the wild like this. What if a starving cat found a big tasty deer carcass in the woods? Would it just turn its nose up at it because it's not cut up into bite-sized pieces?

          [–]Amusaru 20 points21 points  (0 children)

          No, it wouldn't have a human to rip bite sized pieces so it would do it themself. But why bother when you have a slave? I mean...human.

          [–][deleted]  (170 children)

          [deleted]

            [–]IntelligentGuyInRoom 697 points698 points  (89 children)

            Generally cats aren't too picky about eating off of the floor. This particular cat looks like it's pressing its head against the refrigerator, which means it might have something wrong with its brain and that could be an imminent sign of death. I suggest OP take the cat to the vet and get his wife to a counselor or psychiatrist because she displays signs of depression. Depression can be a sign of suicide.

            [–]PathToEternity 270 points271 points  (42 children)

            Lawyer up, delete Facebook.

            [–]IAMA_Plumber-AMA 220 points221 points  (37 children)

            Hit the lawyer, delete the gym, Facebook up.

            [–]shapu 110 points111 points  (34 children)

            Usually hitting a lawyer will result in the need for additional lawyers. It becomes a pretty vicious cycle.

            [–]IAMA_Plumber-AMA 54 points55 points  (27 children)

            You only need three things to succeed in life: Money, guns, and lawyers. Make sure all three know who's boss.

            [–]Kaeltro 49 points50 points  (10 children)

            Tony Danza?

            [–]IAMA_Plumber-AMA 35 points36 points  (4 children)

            What is: Hold me closer.

            [–]Alan_Smithee_ 6 points7 points  (0 children)

            You mean "Lawyers, Guns and Money."

            Great song.

            [–]NightHawkRambo 20 points21 points  (4 children)

            This comment reminded me of Chris Traeger when he was DJ'ing while depressed.

            [–]jessiejables 6 points7 points  (2 children)

            I recently saw Gaslamp Killer, and at the end of his set he was like YOU SHOULD ALL BE VERY GRATEFUL TO LIVE WHERE YOU DO SINCE SO MANY PEOPLE IN OTHER COUNTRIES ARE BEING MURDERED AND KIDNAPPED RIGHT NOW. There was a brief woo- then confusion then someone shouted THAT'S DEPRESSING and the vibe sucked for a minute after that.

            [–]ShadyLogic 5 points6 points  (0 children)

            All this post is missing are a bunch of red MSPaint circles drawn on the original image.

            [–]choppersmash 57 points58 points  (54 children)

            It's just cherry picking the best parts. Classic asshole cats.

            [–]LiveFastDieFast 91 points92 points  (52 children)

            Cat's thinkin "hmm, if I could just eat the middle out of the spill, then it would be gone! Just like how I do with the food in my food bowl!"

            [–]apaulinaria 30 points31 points  (48 children)

            Why is this a thing??? I mean is it all cats?

            [–]djk29a_ 60 points61 points  (40 children)

            Cats have sensitive whiskers that are normally used to tell a cat if an opening is too narrow for it to fit through. If it tried to eat the food on the sides of the bowl, it feels uncomfortable because the whiskers will touch the whole time. I think some cat specialist wrote that it might be like nausea to them, maybe I'm thinking of something else. I know that if the food bowl is mostly empty it means that the cat was so hungry it was overriding its kitty sense of discomfort to eat it all.

            I've been trying to come up with a solid cat feeding system that accommodates the natural inclinations of cats so that we stop wasting cat food to no reason and keep them healthier.

            [–]Vayle 27 points28 points  (2 children)

            My cat will just scoop her food out of her dish and eat it with her paw. She may think she is a people.

            [–]vulpyx 13 points14 points  (3 children)

            My cat did the same then we got this bowl for her which is wide and shallow enough to accommodate the whiskers and shaped so that the food always falls to the middle. It's perfect and she hasn't had a problem eating it all since. http://m.petsmart.com/h5/hub?id=supplies-training%2Ffood-water-bowls%2Fwhisker-city-contemporary-cat-bowl-zid36-22960%2Fcat-36-catid-200062%3Fvar_id%3D36-22960

            [–]sharklops 18 points19 points  (5 children)

            I am a first time cat owner and mine does this. Usually decides he desperately needs food around 3am.

            [–]petecas[🍰] 6 points7 points  (2 children)

            Get an autofeeder for the morning feedings. I use this one set to 6am and it means a little furry buttface doesn't try to purr me awake unless I've forgotten to refill it.

            [–]AggregateTurtle 21 points22 points  (0 children)

            Not quite all, I had one that would lick up crumbs. He was fat.

            [–]Rhamni 146 points147 points  (6 children)

            "My human seems to have stopped working. Better eat while I can."

            [–][deleted] 35 points36 points  (1 child)

            all human suffering is a win for that cat

            [–]Shaw-Deez 50 points51 points  (26 children)

            So Cats do like pasta? Garfield was fictionally accurate after all.

            [–]chishire_kat 49 points50 points  (4 children)

            I had a cat that licked all the pasta sauce out of my bowl of spaghetti o's. She left the noodles licked clean and left the in bowl in the span of 10 mins. She was so pleased with herself.

            [–][deleted]  (2 children)

            [deleted]

              [–]Injected_Americas 5 points6 points  (1 child)

              My cat Princess will steal pizza crusts (fluffy ones only, the bitch) And my other one, Tag, will take pineapple off of hawaiian style pizza.

              [–]TheDefiant604 8 points9 points  (8 children)

              My cat loves tomato sauce, noodles, meat, cheese... I bet if I left lasagna unattended, she would eat it.

              [–]straydog1980 11 points12 points  (5 children)

              There's always a bright side to things!

              [–][deleted]  (6 children)

              [deleted]

                [–]littleM0TH 1563 points1564 points  (100 children)

                https://imgflip.com/gif/7x1ha All I can think of is Kevin and his chili.

                [–][deleted]  (52 children)

                [deleted]

                  [–][deleted]  (4 children)

                  [deleted]

                    [–][deleted]  (44 children)

                    [deleted]

                      [–]yolo-yoshi 95 points96 points  (42 children)

                      I've never even seen the show,and I couldn't help but feel bad for him.

                      [–][deleted] 158 points159 points  (40 children)

                      It's even worse when you watch the show. They make him a really dumb character, and then make his luck suck. He gets a divorce and everything. Probably my favorite character and also the one I sympathize with the most.

                      [–]YouthoughtIwaserious 18 points19 points  (22 children)

                      Like jerry from parks and rec?

                      [–][deleted]  (14 children)

                      [deleted]

                        [–]oth3r 25 points26 points  (4 children)

                        Kevin's the drummer for a Police cover band and a gambler. That's pretty much all we know of his backstory. Life's not in shambles, as far as we know.

                        [–]spideyosu 10 points11 points  (2 children)

                        We know his wife or longtime girlfriend left him early on in the show. We also know he had a falling out with his band. (Hence his clarification "synchronicity ii, not synchronicity i" when he tells people to vote in a battle of the bands.)

                        [–]765BigFoot 6 points7 points  (2 children)

                        I remember him being sad but not crying in that scene. if he was crying I'd have to add that to my unwatchable episodes list with "scots tots"

                        [–]eojen 294 points295 points  (3 children)

                        That scene is a rollercoaster for me. First I laugh, then I'm sad for Kevin, then I start to chuckle again, but then I feel worse for Kevin. But then he tries scooping it back in and the laughing continues.

                        [–]Blackisblue 151 points152 points  (7 children)

                        Video for those interested: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMGK61Jqq3c

                        [–]Trych 128 points129 points  (2 children)

                        Wow that was fucking brutal to watch. My brain told me to laugh but my heart told me to stop relating to Kevin.

                        [–]hotcereal 20 points21 points  (0 children)

                        He made so much chili

                        [–]nukalurk 6 points7 points  (1 child)

                        Wow, why didn't he just use the handles??

                        [–]jameslogan919 265 points266 points  (13 children)

                        The trick is to undercook the onions.

                        [–]ShrimpSandwich1 207 points208 points  (12 children)

                        Everybody is going to get to know each other in the pot.

                        [–]bonkbonkonthehead 141 points142 points  (11 children)

                        It's probably what I do best.

                        [–]thusjuniper 900 points901 points  (23 children)

                        [–]rick2882 73 points74 points  (0 children)

                        [–]mcc5159 169 points170 points  (14 children)

                        [–]NotKevinJames 177 points178 points  (13 children)

                        Take note, those that throw around /r/retiredgif all willy nilly like.
                        This is it.

                        [–]mcc5159 104 points105 points  (8 children)

                        This gif has never been relevant in such a way as this before, nor will it ever be again.

                        By the way, I loved you in Paul Blart.

                        [–][deleted]  (28 children)

                        [deleted]

                          [–]COMPLIMENT-4-U 59 points60 points  (12 children)

                          Happened to me 2 days ago. I had bought these beef shreds with Fajitas spice and I was gonna make it together with fried -boiled potatoes.

                          So when the beef is done, I start making the potatoes and decide to taste the beef, and holy shit was it disgusting. I mean I could probably eat it, but it didn't taste at all like fajitas and it was as tender as a rubby ducky.

                          So I ended up eating yoghurt.

                          [–]biggsk 11 points12 points  (2 children)

                          rubby duck

                          Interesting fetish.

                          [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                          It happened to me once, and I'm fairly sure a part of my soul died.

                          I don't cook elaborate meals all that often, because I find the activity tedious when not done purely for enjoyment on a slow sunday.

                          On that day though, I was motivated and thought I'd make a chicken pot pie. It took forever to make a decent bechamel, prep the veggies, the chicken, bake everything for hours. It smelled so good, too.

                          While it cooks, I wash all the pots, pans and bullshit, and store them in the drawer underneath the oven. Just as I am doing this, timer dings.

                          It finally is ready, the crust is golden and it smells just incredible. In my excitement I neglect to fully close the drawer under the door, open that sucker up, grab the foil pie plate and lift it up carefully with oven mitts, grabbing each side. I then begin The Move. I engage the swift motion that brings the plate up to the stove top for some resting before the feast.

                          The load must have not been distributed right, or I fucked it up somehow, but the plate just fucking bent right in the middle and half of it collapsed.

                          The entire pie slid off neatly, flew through the crack between the door and the oven and right into the drawer I had left ajar. The thing exploded all over my freshly washed pots and pans.

                          I didn't even get to taste it. I just sat there holding the plate with the glazed, distant eyes of a man who just witnessed a train accident.

                          I'm a grown-ass man and I feel absolutely no shame in telling you I had tears welling in my eyes.

                          The PB&J sandwich tasted like pure sadness.

                          [–]SolomonGomes 779 points780 points  (38 children)

                          cooking is hard.

                          [–]the_dude_upvotes 148 points149 points  (31 children)

                          You don't make friends with salad

                          [–]Dan_Ashcroft 98 points99 points  (27 children)

                          You don't win friends with salad

                          [–]eugene_n_rusty 51 points52 points  (21 children)

                          "Lisa the Vegetarian" is the 106th episode of the 21st season. It originally aired on Dec. 17, 1987.

                          [–]ZhanchiMan 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                          Also, Paul McCartney would only make a guest appearance on this show if the creators of the show promised Lisa would stay vegetarian.

                          [–][deleted] 37 points38 points  (7 children)

                          Are you like a bootleg /u/Squalor- ?

                          [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

                          til squalors not a bot

                          [–][deleted]  (36 children)

                          [deleted]

                            [–]dick-nipples 64 points65 points  (15 children)

                            Wait are you not really an expert, or are you an expert in fake pasta sauce, as in sauce that isn't authentic?

                            [–][deleted]  (9 children)

                            [deleted]

                              [–]lucifermotorcade 6 points7 points  (2 children)

                              Yeah, I'd like an actual explanation. No original and unendingly sidesplittingly hilarious responses like 'yes'.

                              [–]Mutt1223 3845 points3846 points  (342 children)

                              Dude, go kiss your wife, throw some noodles on the floor, and sit down with a fork and eat some pasta.

                              [–]JaiOhBe 339 points340 points  (1 child)

                              "Hang on, honey. In about 10 minutes when this pasta cooks I'm about to do some real romantic shit."

                              [–]Pugs501 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                              Fucking Yes!

                              [–]Perverted_Manwhore 111 points112 points  (18 children)

                              [–][deleted]  (12 children)

                              [deleted]

                                [–]eDave 10 points11 points  (0 children)

                                Anyone else fap to that?

                                [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

                                You just reminded me how much I want to fuck Jennifer Aniston.

                                [–]thatbluesyguy 1576 points1577 points  (145 children)

                                Fucking pro move dude. Nice.

                                [–]BeMyLittleSpoon 782 points783 points  (138 children)

                                Seriously though, I swooned a little bit just reading it.

                                [–]acountrymember 681 points682 points  (121 children)

                                Really? I mean, really?

                                'Cause every time I eat food off the floor the girls just say "ew".

                                I may be more prepared for this married life thing than I knew.

                                [–]heretohelphomie 233 points234 points  (33 children)

                                One time I was out drinking and I met this couple. They were cool, and we spent an hour or so walking around and grabbing drinks. They really liked me, and I liked them, too. I dropped a piece of pizza on the ground, cheese side down, and made a sad face. The girl laughed and insisted she buy me a piece of pizza, and I scoffed, picked it up, and took a bite. We kinda walked together for another thirty seconds or so, they said a few quiet words to each other, and walked off without me.

                                [–]degjo 441 points442 points  (15 children)

                                You missed out on a threesome for floor pizza?

                                For fucks sake man

                                [–]WhyDontJewStay 110 points111 points  (3 children)

                                Could have been worse. He could've missed out on some floor pizza for a threesome.

                                You gotta have priorities, man.

                                [–]Derwos 8 points9 points  (2 children)

                                But he got to have a whole orgy of bacteria in his mouth.

                                [–]BeMyLittleSpoon 112 points113 points  (78 children)

                                My boyfriend and I are the grossest. It's pretty great. When you're comfortable picking stuff out of their teeth for them, or popping zits on their back, you're on your way, as far as I can tell.

                                [–]loli123 147 points148 points  (61 children)

                                I literally just had this conversation with my mother... "How the hell did dad shave his back and why?"

                                "Well, people do strange things for love, it's all about finding someone who is comfortable shaving your back for you."

                                "..." was pretty much my only reaction for awhile.

                                [–]boj3143 68 points69 points  (32 children)

                                Dude you know they've put each other's genitals in their mouths right? Or checked each other's assholes for hemorrhoids? Shaving a back is nothing.

                                [–]SlightlyManic 41 points42 points  (31 children)

                                The first one is likely to be true. That second one though... Wtf?

                                [–]boj3143 112 points113 points  (13 children)

                                Stuff starts changing in your 30s bro. It's only weird if you make it weird.

                                [–]Chimie45 76 points77 points  (5 children)

                                These kids don't even fucking know.

                                [–][deleted]  (13 children)

                                [deleted]

                                  [–]quidam08 29 points30 points  (1 child)

                                  So specific

                                  [–]pizzlewizzle 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                                  refinance while rates are low

                                  [–]BeMyLittleSpoon 88 points89 points  (12 children)

                                  That, or someone to whom you can say "I haven't shaved in weeks" and they still like your legs.

                                  [–]jingleheimer 268 points269 points  (3 children)

                                  I haven't shaved mine my entire life and my wife still loves them.

                                  [–]PDK01 374 points375 points  (2 children)

                                  You lesbians are a weird group.

                                  [–]MrPlaysWithSquirrels 8 points9 points  (0 children)

                                  I haven't shaved for 24 years and my girlfriend still loves them.

                                  [–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

                                  Go with the grain and it's all alright.

                                  [–]TheeBaconKing 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                                  You two are normal. Here's some shit from a post about gross couples.

                                  • I once urinated inside of my partner, because she said I wouldn't be able to do it because it wasnt possible.

                                  • She makes me show her my butthole. And tries to touch it. When I try to argue, she says "you get to touch, lick, and put stuff inside mine!" And i cant come up with a way to fight that, so I sit there, humiliated, spreading my legs. She does this only because she knows I'm insecure about my hairy butthole.

                                  • We go to the bathroom together most of the time we are home. "Come talk to me while I poop" is a common phrase in our house

                                  • We snapchat each other videos of us pooping. We call it 'plop cam'. It started as a game of chicken to see who would do it first and now it is just hilarious

                                  • When she poops, I have her spread her legs so I can pee between them

                                  • We stick our fingers up each other's butts when we're turned around and vulnerable (with pants on) because we think its funny.

                                  https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2zot2p/whats_the_grossest_thing_you_and_your_so_do/.compact

                                  [–]MonsieurMersault 51 points52 points  (7 children)

                                  Sounds like you found your little spoon

                                  [–]TEARANUSSOREASSREKT 59 points60 points  (4 children)

                                  more like little swoon...... amirite?!

                                  no i'm probably not right

                                  [–]RedAnarchist 27 points28 points  (1 child)

                                  This is how I figured Redditors romanced.

                                  [–]Schen5s 229 points230 points  (28 children)

                                  Have sex on top of the sauce

                                  [–][deleted]  (13 children)

                                  [deleted]

                                    [–]pirarchy 133 points134 points  (4 children)

                                    Acidic and it would burn. Man would it burn. Burn so good.

                                    [–]bungopony 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                                    "Mellencamp here, got a new hit for you!"

                                    [–][deleted] 72 points73 points  (3 children)

                                    [–]fptp01 109 points110 points  (14 children)

                                    I was thinking same thing. She needs some comforting

                                    [–][deleted] 115 points116 points  (11 children)

                                    One time my mom spent a couple of hours making a dish and this happened. She burst into tears. I, being a kid at the time, and a bit socially inept, didn't know what to do, so I just sort of left the room.

                                    I cringe whenever I think about it, because I really could've just gone over and given her a hug and she probably would've felt a lot better.

                                    [–]linlorienelen 41 points42 points  (1 child)

                                    You. Seriously though, when I fuck up hard like that, I hate any attention being called to it, good or bad. oh god just clean it up this never happened

                                    [–]dreamqueen9103 31 points32 points  (13 children)

                                    OP never said it was their wife. Could be OP herself or a roommate.

                                    [–]sharkdog73 48 points49 points  (10 children)

                                    True, but the lovely young lady on the floor is wearing what appears to be a wedding set on her left hand.

                                    [–][deleted]  (8 children)

                                    [deleted]

                                      [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                                      I didn't even think to zoom in, thanks.

                                      [–]NJBarFly 31 points32 points  (1 child)

                                      Or just, you know, take her out to eat somewhere nice.

                                      [–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

                                      Yeah, I'm a bit lost on all the people talking about how romantic this would be. If I dropped food on the floor and somebody started eating it to make me feel better I would wonder wtf is wrong with them.

                                      [–]infectedsponge 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                                      Just go out to eat.

                                      [–]muphdaddy 4 points5 points  (1 child)

                                      Might want to cook the noodles first. ...

                                      [–][deleted] 162 points163 points  (23 children)

                                      In what order did things happen?

                                      1. cat knocks off crockpot, human sits down, cat eats
                                      2. human drops crockpot, cat feats on opportunity
                                      3. human drops crockpot on cat, cat feasts on own blood and opportunity

                                      [–]erveek 241 points242 points  (12 children)

                                      Cat trips human carrying crockpot. Creates own opportunity.

                                      [–][deleted] 40 points41 points  (4 children)

                                      This is something a cat really would do.

                                      [–]YourWizardPenPal 8 points9 points  (0 children)

                                      Human drops empty crockpot on second cat, first cat begins painting memorial picture on the fridge using the bloody mess.

                                      [–]saltinado 193 points194 points  (19 children)

                                      Protip, scrape it up with a rubber spatula and a dustpan. Not that I've ever done this before...

                                      [–]iamlocknar 34 points35 points  (2 children)

                                      Aw man, I laugh but I'd help clean. Sucks losing what you've spent time cooking to have it end up on the floor.

                                      [–]nottell 7 points8 points  (1 child)

                                      We've all been there.

                                      [–]kiptheenglish 26 points27 points  (1 child)

                                      I've done this with pizza and had a similar reaction. I had already left it in the oven too long, and as I removed the lightly burned Tombstone, I dropped it, and naturally it landed topping side down. I couldn't handle it and hastily escaped to my room and cried. It was a good birthday.

                                      [–]Synovexh001 168 points169 points  (1 child)

                                      "here hold still honey while I immortalize your grief on the internet."

                                      Husband of the year.

                                      [–]Piercio 47 points48 points  (5 children)

                                      You slave over a meal for hours only to watch all of your hard work destroyed by your own clumsiness, or the cat underfoot at the wrong moment. The worst part is that as you collapse on the floor in frustration before the huge mess you'll have to spend an hour cleaning, all you can think about is how good it feels to finally be sitting down.

                                      [–]PeckofPoobers 66 points67 points  (11 children)

                                      So where did you go out for dinner?

                                      [–]reeln166a 151 points152 points  (6 children)

                                      I don't care anything is fine

                                      [–]Yaaarrrppp 111 points112 points  (0 children)

                                      Oh, cool, I found my girlfriend's account!

                                      [–]IRON-BALLS_MCGINTY 45 points46 points  (3 children)

                                      Chinese then?

                                      Eck Chinese? Not really feeling it. Anything but Chinese.

                                      [–]andreib14 32 points33 points  (1 child)

                                      Maybe some pasta?

                                      cue death stare

                                      [–][deleted] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

                                      Indian?

                                      I already said not Chinese.

                                      [–]benqundera 27 points28 points  (4 children)

                                      With the cat's head down like that...this picture looked really sad for a second

                                      [–]UnLikeableSource 50 points51 points  (0 children)

                                      I've felt that feel lady bro, we've all been to fail town.

                                      [–]HunterTAMUC 53 points54 points  (2 children)

                                      I can't help but feel sad for her :(

                                      [–][deleted]  (2 children)

                                      [deleted]

                                        [–]timdo409 9 points10 points  (1 child)

                                        Let me guess the cat tripped her.

                                        [–]B0bby_Digital 8 points9 points  (0 children)

                                        Representing the University at Buffalo! Everyday in the city is like this.

                                        [–]thatsterrible42 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                                        Oh man. So sorry! Some days you just can't win. :(

                                        [–]TCsnowdream 25 points26 points  (4 children)

                                        Let's go, BUF-FA-LO! Let's go, BUF-FA-LO! :D

                                        [–]ashyp00h 7 points8 points  (1 child)

                                        I had to scroll way too far for this! <3 Go Bulls!

                                        [–]Joe_Sith 16 points17 points  (4 children)

                                        Reminds me of this commercial from a few years back:

                                        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmUZcJMIP90

                                        [–]imtheotherone 35 points36 points  (21 children)

                                        UB Law. Just wanted to point that out.

                                        [–]skintessa 29 points30 points  (0 children)

                                        UB getting takeout tonight.

                                        [–]TinFoilRobotProphet 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                                        Yeah, she's gonna have a ton more complicated problems in the near future.

                                        [–]BananaToy 39 points40 points  (4 children)

                                        Just order some pizza and leave the cleanup for later. You have a cool cat and the pot didn't break, so it could be a lot worse.

                                        [–]adnix42 32 points33 points  (0 children)

                                        I dono. Tomato sauce stains really well. Depending on what the floor is made of you might want to get that cleaned pretty quick.

                                        [–]Th3Obsolete 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                                        That's the face of someone who has lost will to go on.

                                        [–]Nemoder 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                                        Well the pasta might be ruined but the karma looks delicious!

                                        [–]pollorojo 4 points5 points  (1 child)

                                        I have that same crock pot. I understand that this is in no way important.

                                        [–]PremiumSaltine 6 points7 points  (3 children)

                                        That dishwasher looks like a pain in the ass to load. What an odd place for it.