Starting a new school is daunting for children whatever their age.
And parents have a big role to play in getting their offspring ready for their new school and helping to calm any fears they might have.
With most schools reopening next week, there are just a few days left to help them prepare.
“Starting primary school or moving to a secondary school are key milestones and it’s a significant change for all pupils,” says Dr Jude Joughin, child and educational psychologist for the Bright Futures Educational Trust.
“Every child is different but even the most confident can feel wobbly in the days leading up to it and on the day itself.
"Make sure they understand it’s OK to feel worried and nervous.
“Try to encourage them that this is a great opportunity – for older ones to explore different subjects and for the little ones to learn to read and write.
“Reassure them that if anything goes wrong – from forgetting dinner money through to hurting themselves – the school staff are there to teach and care for them and they can speak to someone whenever they need to.”
On a practical level, now’s the time to start getting children ready by ensuring that they’re back in a good bedtime routine.
“Also think about their diet for the new term,” adds Dr Joughin.
“They will need lots of healthy fruit and veg, combined with carbohydrates for extra energy. Have healthy snacks in as they’re likely to be hungry.”
Starting primary school
Dr Virginia Lumsden, a clinical psychologist who works with children, young people and families in London, says: “The big thing for primary schoolchildren is separation, time away from somebody they feel safe with.
“Children who have had lots of experience of daycare will probably have an easier transition.”
But there are tips to follow that can help ease your child into their very first day at school:
? Practise skills like dressing and packing a bag. “Children need to be able to follow simple instructions. Get them used to this by asking them to do things like collecting two apples in the supermarket,” says Dr Joughin.
? Explain the role of the teacher. “Tell them it’s not just someone who’s going to teach them sums and reading but who’s there to care for them as well. If they feel sad or angry, tell them to tell the teacher. This is especially important if they haven’t been to nursery,” says Dr Joughin.
? Recap information from their visit to the school. “Talk about the school routine, what they can expect and when school starts and finishes. If possible, show them the school’s website or walk past to show them which door they’ll go in.”
? Communicate with them about school. “Play at schools or ask them to draw a picture of themselves in their new uniform or something they’re excited about doing there,” says Dr Lumsden. “You could also read books together about starting at school.”
? Mention their teacher’s name frequently and talk about what will happen in class. “If parents speak fondly and with confidence about the teacher, and the things the children will enjoy doing with them, it will help the child make a relationship.”
? Meet other children who will be in the same class so there are familiar faces on the first day.
? The night before, talk through what’s going to happen so they know what to expect. In the morning, have a calm routine so nobody feels rushed. “If your child does have a wobble you can take time to deal with it rather than thinking you’ve got to get out the door,” says Dr Lumsden.
? Be early to collect them. If there’s no one there to greet them they can feel anxious – and that can make the next day more difficult.
Starting secondary school
“Children worry about the teachers being stricter, the work being harder and about having lots of homework,” says Dr Lumsden.
“Friendships are a big thing – missing friends they’ve been with at primary school with, wondering how they’ll make new friends, worrying about being bullied. There are also practical worries like getting lost.
“It’s a time of mixed emotions. They’ll be excited about the opportunity to make new friends, be treated in a more grown-up way and learn new things.
“Reassure them there are lots of others in the same situation and that teachers know it’s their first day and will be there to help. It’s about reassuring and giving them the confidence they can solve problems themselves.”
Here are useful tips for preparing for that first day at secondary school.
? Make sure you have plenty of fun in the last few days of the holidays. “Have a really nice time together so they’re comfortable with you and know that if they’re worried or unhappy they can talk to you,” says Dr Lumsden.
? Go out with them to buy things for school. “This can help them feel more connected. Choosing their school bag together is nice for them as it’s a reminder of something that makes them feel safe and secure,” she adds.
? Practise getting to school – many secondary school pupils have a longer journey and it might involve public transport. Check out bus or train times. “Seeing where the bus stops settles fears and it’s one less thing to worry about,” says Dr Joughin.
? Talk about school rules such as mobile phone and jewellery policy so they are well prepared.
? Help with practical skills – secondary school pupils need to be organised and punctual. “Talk to them about that and, if necessary, teach skills like reading a timetable,” says Dr Joughin.
? The night before the big day, make sure you have the uniform laid out and bag packed so the morning runs smoothly.
And don’t forget about you!
“It’s an emotional time for parents too,” says Dr Joughin.
“Be mindful of how your own feelings, like anxiety, can impact upon your child.
"Reassure yourself it will be OK and try not to cry in front of them as this may cause them distress. Talk to your partner or friends about your feelings.
“You will meet mums at school so head for a coffee with them and build your social network.
"Plan things to fill your time in the first few days. Try not to guess what’s going on in the classroom because you can work yourself up.”