I've been with my boyfriend for almost one year now. Everything in our relationship has been great, except his best friend is a girl and it bugs me. What should I do?
In cases like this, the best advice is usually to not stand in the way of the friendship. A guy and a girl can innocently hang together without anything happening. And if youre constantly freaking out on your boyfriend about this, or spying on him (even worse) things are going to get very rocky between you guys. Its normal to feel a twinge of jealously and toss out a subtle comment or two while youre getting adjusted to the other girl. But then youve got to get over it. How?
One way is to get to know her a little better. Thatll help put your questions of trust to rest. When the two of you are in the bleachers watching your guy play baseball, dont ignore her talk to her. Ask her what shes into. You may find you have similar interests and get why your boyfriend thinks shes so cool. Strategy number two: If your boyfriends not already inviting you to join him and his best friend when they go out, then why dont you suggest it sometimes not all the time. (You wouldnt want him coming everywhere with you and your best friend either.) Seeing them in action together should help you understand their relationship, and make you more comfortable with it.
Now, say your suggestion to hang around with them doesnt go over well; one or both of them is being wishy-washy, or they reluctantly let you come, but he doesnt want to hold your hand; or they treat you like a tagalong and seem flirtatious with one another. Then you have the right to ask whats really going on cause thats suspicious behavior and you deserve answers. The same goes if he chooses to spend a ton more time with her than with you.
Also, is it possible your boyfriend is purposely trying to make you feel jealous? If thats the kinda guy he is, then who needs him? You dont need a tug-of-war with your guys best friend, just so he can feel like Mr. Macho.
Just dont resort to asking him to choose between you and her. The three of you should all be able to work things out, and if you cant, then your relationship may be on shaky ground to begin with.
In the meantime, enlarge your own circle of guy and girl friends not as a revenge tactic, but as a way to expand yourself. When you have lots of other stuff going on, you'll be amazed at
