Three things. I only ever carry three thing: keys, phone, and wallet. This morning I woke up, took my shower, ate my breakfast, and brushed my teeth. My keys were on the coffee table, phone was on the charger, but the wallet was no where to be found. Not in yesterday's pants, not on the counter, not in the couch or under the cushions.
Not in the car, not under the bed, not by the door. Not in the driveway, not by the mail box, not on the porch. Not in the laundry basket, not in the fridge, not in the tank on the back of the toilet. No where. I turned everything I owned upside down and no wallet fell out. I was an hour late for work at this point, so I just had to leave.
At lunch I decided to retrace my steps. It wasn't at my parents, not at my girlfriends, not in the parking lot of the Walgreen's where I last used it and, not only did the people inside have no knowledge of a wallet but they seemed genuinely confused as to why I might be asking.
So now here I am, plotting my systematic cleaning of my house while staring at both the recent transactions screen of my bank's website and the clock which is slowly ticking down to my release back into the hunt.
2 hours, 17 minutes, and 38 seconds... 2 hours, 17 minutes, and 37 seconds... 2 hours, 17 minutes, and 36 seconds...
Pray for me, reddit.
Edit: I went through everything again, trying to retrace my steps. I got home from the drug store, went upstairs, took a nap, started my laundry. My laundry! I'm not one to go half way, so naturally I took off my pants to wash them with the rest. Those pants had my wallet, that's my lead. I go to the washing machine closet and take the thing apart. I'm going through a box on the top shelf and I see it, and it all comes rushing back. I was trying to get my laundry loaded before a commercial so I didn't have time to run my wallet up to my nightstand.
"I need," I thought to myself, "a good place to put this. Some place I will never forget."
"I know," my brain replied, "how about this obscure box on this top shelf that you never reach up to nor look in. It's perfect."
"Brain," I thought, "you're brilliant." And off I went to watch my show.