Facebook stalking, endless shots, and sleeping with the bartender will only make you feel worse (okay, maybe not the third one). Here's the best way to get over an ex instead.
Facebook stalking, endless shots, and sleeping with the bartender will only make you feel worse (okay, maybe not the third one). Here's how to get over an ex instead.
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1
Be Sad... for a Little While
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Having an "emotional flu" helps you get it all out, fast, says Sandra Ann Miller, co-author of A Sassy Little Guide to Getting Over Him. So sob, scream, listen to "Someone Like You" on infinite repeat, whatever you want. Just give yourself a time limit so you don't wallow forever.
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2
Tweak Your Feed
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The last thing you need is to see his status updates and tweetseven an innocent one about how much he loved his sandwich at lunch can remind you of "that time we ate a sandwich." So if you don't want to unfriend or unfollow him just yet (hey, it's not easy to go cold turkey with his life), at least hide him from your news feed.
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3
Bitch It Out
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Hit up your most supportive BFFs and have a no-holds barred venting session. Research reveals that putting feelings into words makes sadness and anger less intense. But do it over pedis or tapasgoing on a total bender will only make you weepyand likely to give into the temptation to text him at 3am.
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4
Do Something He Hated
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Did Mr. Sensitive Tummy ban Indian restaurants from your Saturday nights? Order some vindaloo, extra spicy. Did he think all bungee jumpers have a death wish? Doing something that's so "not him" is an easy way to bring you back to yourself, suggests Miller.
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5
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It sounds New Age-y, but moving around
your furniture literally gives you a fresh perspective, which kind of gives you the kick you need to move forward. At the very least, spring for new sheetsit'll help get him off your mind now that he's off your bed.
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6
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A "breakover" shouldn't mean going from mermaid-like locks to a super short pixie cut. You're emotions are out of whack right now, so you might regret a drastic change later. But altering your look a littleby getting subtle highlights, or painting your nails a bold shade if you usually stick to neutralscan make you feel refreshed, suggests Miller.
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7
Don't Sweat Him, Just Sweat
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Sticking to a regular workout routine reduces stress and tires your body (which makes it virtually impossible to find yourself staring at the ceiling at 2 a.m., wondering WTF went wrong). Hit a new class with a friend, or sign up for a group run (many local running shops, and stores like Lululemon and Nike, offer these).
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8
Pamper Yourself
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According to research, the brain can't tell the difference between emotional pain and physical pain, so by giving your bod some TLC, you're also helping to soothe your mood, too. Now's the time to cash in on that spa certificate from ages ago, or just go in for a quickie 10-minute massage at the nail place.
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9
Challenge Yourself
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Always wanted to learn to surf/speak French/play guitar? Miller says doing it now's a great idea since it will give you something to focus on besides him. Even the tiniest challenge (like coming up with a new outfit combination every day) can have an impact.
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10
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Okay, so you're not ready to get back out there just yet. But that doesn't mean you should quarantine your libido until further notice. Take a striptease aerobics class, finally download 50 Shades of Grey, or just flirt with the scruffy barista at the coffee shop. Just do something to keep your sexual energy burningeven if it is on low for now.