25 WAYS TO SAY YOU LOVE HIM

You're in love. You eat, sleep, think, and breathe him, and (yes!) he seems to feel the same. How to make sure the relationship continues to grow and develop? By telling him how you feel — not just with words or kisses but with actions that support your emotions. Ahead, some very cool guys reveal what they want from romance (of course, we decoded the boyspeak so you'll know exactly what to do).

1. "I want a girlfriend who's a friend first." —Jason, 16

Be honest yet gentle, caring yet easygoing, ready for fun yet there for him when he needs an ear or a shoulder — just like you would with a best girlfriend.

2. "I love it when a girl makes me feel special." —P.K., 18

Learn what he digs and give it to him in steady doses! He's into hip-hop? Write him a rap. Thinks he's a comedian? Laugh at his jokes. Works out like a demon? Let a massage be your message. If you're good at crafts, make him something he can wear, like a friendship bracelet or tie-dyed T-shirt in his favorite colors. Cards and posters are great too, especially if you make them yourself. Don't bury him with a dozen gifts/calls/notes a day — way too intense! Just make sure he knows you're into him for who he is.

3. "I don't want to feel joined at the hip to her." —Denny, 18

If you love someone, set him free. Hanging on his every word or trying to be with him every waking moment can really bug bad! Have your own life too — you need space for the same reasons he does. Stay true to the things that interested you before you fell in love — that's what made him fall for you in the first place. Remember that love is not the quantity of time you spend together; it's knowing that you care for each other whether you're in each other's presence or not.

4. "I'm really into spontaneity." —Flip, 17

Surprise him! Throw him a party, try out a new look. Be willing to try adventurous things. Show your excitement, and don't be afraid to mess your hair up.

5. "I don't always want to be on my best behavior with a girl." —Joey, 14

Let him know he can be himself by being yourself. Forget what you think he wants you to be like, and be who you truly are. Let him see you with your hair down, or no makeup on (okay, just occasionally!). If you have to burp ... burp! He'll feel comfortable around you, like he can tell you anything — and that's the definition of trust.

6. "I want a date, not a command performance!" —Marc, 19

If a guy's gonna be your guy, every date can't be a big deal. You should be able to just hang out. Take a walk with him, or go inline-skating or biking — you don't necessarily need a destination. Watch a sport together on TV. Ask reasonable questions if you're interested in learning more about the game. If you're really not interested, let him watch the game while you do something else (draw, flip through a magazine, whatever) — it's a way to share the same space if not the same activity.

7. "I want a girl to treat me with respect." —Wynter, 17

Apply the golden rule of romance: Do unto him as you want him to do unto you. So don't flirt around. Yes, of course, you can be nice to other guys. Just don't come on to them or accept their advances. Don't trash him to your friends (either behind his back or in his face!) or betray his confidences.

8. "I want a girl who understands me." —Jonny, 16

Listen when he speaks, not just with your ears, but with your heart. Talk with him, not just to him — and never at him.

9. "Smart girls are a turn-on!" —Kevin, 16

Don't play dumb. You don't have to play small to make your boyfriend feel big. Study together — you'll both do better in school. Teach him something you know that he doesn't know, but be sure to share your skills, smarts, and talents in a loving, constructive way. Don't come off like a know-it-all: People who have to parade their intelligence reek of insecurity.

10. "Nothing's worse than a girl who flakes out!" —Erich, 15

Be reliable. If you make dates or promises, keep them. If you can't, be responsible about letting him know, and explain why. Call when you say you will. He hates sitting by the phone for hours as much as you do. If you've promised him an answer, deliver it. On time. It's a great way to build both trust and responsiveness into the relationship.

11. "It makes me feel good when I know my girlfriend depends on me." —Theo, 17

That doesn't mean being clingy, overly needy, or way demanding. It means going to him when you need an opinion, when you're feeling out of sorts or upset. Nothing makes a guy feel stronger than knowing he can help you when you're hurting.

12. "When I'm away from my girlfriend, I want to know she misses me." —Andrew, 18

Playing it too cool makes you a fool! Tell him you were thinking about him when you were apart. Not just yearning for him, but wishing him well, wherever he was and whatever he was doing. More and more, you'll discover that he was thinking about you, too, at the exact same moment and with the same positive attitude.

13. "I want to know she supports me and believes in me." —Charlie, 16

Help him see past the present to what could be in the future. Listen to his dreams and focus on how he can achieve them. When he succeeds in any step along the way, reward him by noticing. Cheer for him. Whether he plays sports or is involved in other extracurricular activities, attend as many events as you can and yell your head off (unless it's chess or something). If you're too busy to show up, let him know that you're there for him in spirit, and celebrate his best efforts at another time.

14. "I want a relationship — I just hate screaming fights!" —Dave, 17

Settle arguments so that you both win. Don't shout, don't blame. Instead, focus on learning why you're both upset and finding new attitudes or ways to prevent the problem in the future. Apologize if you know you've done something cruddy, but don't dwell on it. If you've made a mistake, admit it sincerely and move on. By the same token, never rub it in if you were right and accept his apology gracefully. Forgive him. Everyone screws up sometimes. If he says he's sorry and/or acts sorry, believe it. Try not to mention it again.

15. "I want her to accept me for who I am." —Terrell, 17

He's a boy, not a lump of clay. There's a reason behind all his likes and dislikes. Don't try to change him or make him fit your image of the perfect guy. Don't judge or criticize. He's not your personal project. He is who he is: If you dig that, great, if not ... find someone else.

16. "It's not like I'm looking for a supermodel, but I want a girl who cares about her appearance." —Jeff, 17

Take good care of yourself. Make healthy choices to nourish your body, mind and spirit. Do what you can to enhance your natural beauty — but don't spend all your time in front of a mirror. Recognize the difference between taking pride in your appearance (cool) and vanity (blech!).

17. "I want a girlfriend who gets along with my friends." —Tony, 15

Give his friends a chance; let them get to know you. Don't put down his buddies (guys and girls!). If you can't say something nice, say nothing at all. If you don't want to be with his friends, give him time and space to hang with them while you do something else for yourself.

18. "When she looks at me, I want to feel her love." —Benjamin, 18

Look deeply into his eyes. Make eye contact with him when you're across the room from one another at a party or school function. And when you connect, smile.

19. "I want to feel that my girlfriend really appreciates me." —Tyson, 16

Respond to his efforts to be kind. If he does something for you and it wasn't what you wanted or turns out badly, thank him anyway for trying. Nothing's more demoralizing than trying to please someone and being told, "This wasn't what I wanted." Don't blame him for not being able to read your mind. Love him for trying. Also thank him for just being him, for all the positive qualities you admire in his character. Thank him for being thoughtful, kind, loyal or anything else that means something to you. He'll glow!

20. "I want to know she'll be there through tough times." —Gregg, 17

Life isn't all no-cal cupcakes even in the best relationships, and if your guy suffers some rotten breaks — bad grades, getting cut from the team, a fight with his parents — he'll need your support. If his problems are more serious (i.e., drugs, real trouble at home), help him get qualified professional help. Bear in mind that a guy with those kinds of troubles may not be able to handle a romantic relationship — you should still be there as a friend, and in a way that doesn't drag you down into the situation.

21. "Love doesn't have to be heavy. A girl should be able to take things light." —Kenny, 15

Keep things simple. If you've been showering him with expensive gifts or extravagant gestures, stop. Choose easy, inexpensive ways to express how you feel about him, so he doesn't feel obligated or guilty about your efforts.

22. "I don't want a jealous girl." —Robby, 16

If you think having a hissy fit every time you think he's looking at another girl (in school, at the mall, on a movie screen) is a way to show him how much you love him, get over it! All jealousy shows is that you're insecure about his love — and yourself — a major turn-off.

23. "I want a girl who's an individual, unique." —Ted, 17

Cultivate the "you" in you; don't try to be like your friends or copy the models from magazines. Develop your own style, and your own attitudes. Being interested in your guy isn't enough — you have to be interesting too.

24. "My family's a little strange — but I want my girlfriend to like them!" —Frank, I5

Get to know his parents and siblings. These are the people who have enormous (if not the most) influence on his life. Learn about their likes and needs, and be respectful of them. They'll be glad you're involved in their son's life!

25. "I love it when my girlfriend says she loves me!" —Jackson, 18

If you really, truly feel it (are you sure?), say it. Don't worry if he hasn't said it first — maybe he's waiting for you. You want to know if he loves you back, right? This is one of the best ways to find out.