Want to Turn a New Friend into a Best Friend? We've Got Some Tips

Escalating a relationship can be tricky, which is why we're here to help.
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Photo by Patrick Demarchelier

There are a ton of tiny truths you'll uncover during your teenage years, but one of the most unexpected ones is this: The older you get, the tougher it is to make friends. That said, as you grow up and find yourself interested in different things, it's also inevitable that you'll come across someone who just totally gets you in a new way.

Meeting a potential pal who shares your love for, say, obscure Canadian television or the latest K-Pop star is a special thing. Think your newfound bud and you could one day rival Tina Fey and Amy Poehler but have no idea how to promote your bond to BFF status? We've got all the answers.

You have more time than you think.

As weird as it sounds, making a new BFF is a lot like dating. If you wanna see the person, you gotta make the effort! Without coming on too strong, express that you're so stoked you've become friends, and even though you're both crazy-busy people, you hope you guys get to hang out. The trick is to factor your new pal into events that are already in your schedule so there's no reason you won't be able nurture your relationship. It could be as small a gesture as getting coffee between study sessions or inviting them to go formal shopping with you. You could even make dinner at your apartment or hunker down for the Oscars together! Basically, there are tons of easy ways to fit hang time in.

Explore a new hobby.

Embarking on an adventure of sorts with each other is a great way to try something new or pick up an old skill that's long forgotten. And better yet, you'll now have a regular scheduled hang with your pal without having to give it any thought! Try out a ceramics course, take DJ lessons, or sign up for some totally weird ercise class. Not only will it let you dabble in new experiences, said new experiences will actually be easier because having a friend in tow is way more fun. And hey, who better to laugh with while doing trampoline aerobics than your soon-to-be bestie?

Be proactive IRL!

No matter what kind of plan you put on the books, try to finalize it while you're together (in person!) to minimize flakiness. Friendships often lose momentum simply because you don't see each other enough in a short period of time. Though scheduling plans in advance may come off a bit Type A, locking something down then and there guarantees you won't space out and inadvertently let the entire semester fly by (which trust us, can totally happen!).

Get down with tagging along.

Your new bud is super fun, cool as hell, and has the best taste in music...but none of your BFFs know she exists. That tiny voice in your head that says, "But they're my friends!" may be causing you to subconsciously keep the two entities separate. Sidestep your self-sabotaging behavior and welcome her into your crew. If it doesn't work out, you'll still have your new pal and your old ones, but if everyone gets along, your group could gain a new member for life. Plus, you guys will be able to spend even more time together if you're in the same social circle!

Spontaneity is key.

To experience new things, you gotta put yourself out there—and that may mean abandoning your jam-packed Netflix queue on a lazy Sunday to chill with your new friend at a last-minute get-together. Even if you're a person who relies on routine, try not to make excuses for staying in. Whether it's a day-of dinner reservation or a spare ticket to a football game, power through your personal naysaying and step up to the plate when opportunity presents itself. Sure, Scandal won't watch itself, but Olivia Pope will be there when you get back.