Itโs so amazing when you find someone youโre super into and they reciprocate those feelings. But when that relationship ends and youโre single again, itโs difficult to remember that feelings arenโt always mutual. You never know how a situation is going to go or if the other personโs feelings will match your own. Having an unrequited crush is an awful feeling and can bring back memories of high school awkwardness, but itโs bound to happen sometimes. That doesnโt mean you have to face-plant into a pint of Ben and Jerryโs. When you like a guy who doesnโt feel the same, remember these 10 things.
- He doesnโt know the real you. How much can you really get to know someone on a first date or before you even get that far? He may know some surface things about you โ your job, your favorite TV show, how you like your coffee โ but he doesnโt truly know you, so how can he judge who you are? When you put it this way, itโs not even a rejection.
- It might not even be about you. The most infuriating and frustrating thing about the dating game is that we never know what a guyโs expectations are. He might not even be in the market for a relationship right now or he might be hung up on someone else. Itโs doubtful that itโs down to you. People have their own sh*t going on.
- If it is about you, itโs totally his loss. So what if he doesnโt laugh at your jokes or want to have a conversation about your hobbies and interests? You may like him, but that doesnโt mean he gets your sense of humor or that you two have anything in common. Itโs worth it to hold out for someone who gets you and wants to know more about whatever youโre into and hopefully share those interests.
- Youโll move on to better things (and guys). Unrequited love is the stuff of countless novels and โ90s teen dramas. It feels awful and it sucks, but if you can accept it and forget about it, you will be so much better for it. Just like itโs not a good idea to sulk too long after a bad breakup, you donโt want to think about this guy for too long. Heโs just one guy, right? There are so many out there.
- You donโt like every guy who likes you. Youโve definitely gone on a few first dates and immediately ruled the guy out, even before you got a chance to order a drink. You stayed for an hour to be completely sure but your first instincts were right. When you got that next-day text asking to see you again, you said you werenโt feeling it or โ itโs okay to admit it โ ghosted him. Just flip the scenario around. Not every guy you like is going to like you, either.
- Love is a mysterious, magical thing. When we click with someone and everything is there โ the mutual attraction, the fun conversation and banter, the emotional connection โ it feels easy and effortless. But itโs completely out of our hands. Itโs like magic. So if you like a guy and can see yourself with him but he doesnโt feel the same, that magic just isnโt there. Remember that and donโt feel bad.
- It says nothing about your self-worth. When we were kids, we had huge imaginations and lived in our heads. Everything was new and exciting and had potential. We basically assumed that if we wanted to be friends with someone, they would want to be friends with us, too. Why wouldnโt they? Itโs a sad day when you get older and realize that not everyone likes you. But it doesnโt mean youโre not awesome.
- Playing the blame game is a waste of time. Our brains like to cycle endlessly about all the things we should have said or done (as well as obsessing over that thing we said but shouldnโt have). If you could have just acted a bit differently/cooler/less like yourself, maybe that guy would like you, right? This usually happens when youโre desperately hoping for sleep. So convenient. Stop wondering what you did or said and realize that youโre totally fine the way you are.
- It will feel that much better when someone does like you back. When you fall in love again after thinking it would never happen ever again (thanks to a nasty breakup), itโs an amazing surprise. Be patient and youโll forget all about this guy sooner than you think.