It's Friday night. Your girls are off chasing guys and your boyfriend is doing his own thing. But two text messages later, you're in a basement playing PS2, eating bacon cheeseburger pizza, and chugging Mountain Dew with three guy friends-nice! Guy friends are way different than boyfriends and pretty different from girl friends too, so my best guy friends, Bryan and Jon, helped me break down the rules of being friends with a guy. Let's hear it for the boys!
1. go out in groups
As much as you hate to care what others think about you, if you and your best guy friend go out alone all the time, (a) other guys might back off because they'll think you're boyfriend-girlfriend, and (b)people will constantly ask if you're a couple-annoying! Point is, you're not a couple, so limit the time you spend doing couple stuff. Not to say that you can't see a movie together now and then, but guy friends are better in groups!
2. burp all you want
For guys, bodily noises are the goodtime equivalent of shoe shopping! For girls, it's liberating to see just how far we can push the grossness boundaries. Between all the burping and the wing-eating contests you have with your guy friends, there's no room for self-consciousness.
3. keep the affection in check
Even if he's never thought of you that way, and you've never thought of him that way, too much touchy-feely stuff starts to put the idea in his (and/or your) mind. It may be tempting to give him hugs or put your head on his shoulder, but it blurs the line between friends and more. Sure, he's the perfect stand-in for when you absolutely need a date, but don't treat him like a stand-in boyfriend, okay?
4. don't ask for dating advice
Guys don't discuss the minute details of their romantic relationships with each other like girls do, so they don't expect platonic girl friends to either. If you do, he'll get confused. He'll either think you want him to be the hero who saves you from your evil boyfriend, or he'll start picturing you in couple scenarios-which doesn't bode well for the whole platonic thing, if you know what we mean!
5. don't give dating advice
If he's seeing someone, you're going to form some opinions about her. But hold back the advice (and if he asks, try not to judge her). Nothing will kill your friendship faster than if you bad-mouth his girl after their fight and then they make up two days later. You can't take back your words, and his GF will hate you forever. If he has to choose between his girl friend and his girlfriend, you'll lose.
6. friends with benefits: can it work?
Successfully having a friend with benefits is pretty freakin' tricky. Obviously there's a strong physical attraction there if you crave those "benefits" in the first place. But it can only work if both of you feel emotionally uninvolved with each other. So keep these tips in mind:
(1) Never embark on a FWB situation with a friend you secretly like as more.
(2) Limit the benefits to just making out-sex is risky, emotionally and physically, and FWBs are supposed to be light and fun.
(3) It helps to stay super aware of your feelings. If you fi nd yourself wanting more than just the occasional hookup, or you feel hurt if he doesn't call you, stop the WB part. Because the "benefits" aren't worth ruining a friendship.
7. let him down easy
If he admits he likes you-but you don't feel the same-be honest and direct so he knows you won't change your mind. Say, "I love our friendship, but for me, that's all it is. I don't want to lose that, but if you feel like we shouldn't hang out for a while, I understand." Then respect him by acting friendly-not flirty.
