It takes me three days to get over a break-up: Kangana Ranaut

Kangana Ranaut tackled a volley of questions, eloquently and candidly, when she visited the Bombay Times office. From talking about how spending time thinking about clothes is a waste of life to accepting how she doesn't care about working opposite the three Khans, here are excerpts from her conversation...

In Queen, in the song Hungama Ho Gaya, you look stress-free in your dancing. Tell us about that.
Hungama dancing, you know, the promo is a little misleading. It's not really a dance situation. It's a certain point in the film where the character goes through a burst of emotions. But she's not really dancing, she's going completely crazy on the floor. And she's not a good dancer, so she looks a bit carefree.

What did you discover about yourself when you did Queen, since it is about a woman's journey to discover herself?
I'd say this girl is very different from me. Queen is someone who was very hard to identify with, since she has low self-esteem and is not strong at all. It takes me three days to get over a break-up. People find it difficult, but I am a very strong person. I've been on my own without my parents since the age of 15. I've literally lived on my own as a kid. Queen, on the contrary, has self-acceptance issues. What I learnt from my character is to be sensitive to these people. Like I was very harsh earlier and would go, 'Why would you make someone responsible for your own happiness?' I thought of them as losers. Being this person has changed my perspective.

ALSO READ: Why Kangana Ranaut is apt for 'Queen'?

Do you wear your heart on your sleeve in relationships?
No. I think at some point in my life, I was naive and I learnt it the hard way, but I did finally realise that you cannot let others treat you badly. And torture doesn't always have to be physical, it can come in any form. It can come even in the sweetest package. But torture is torture and one has to recognise it and has to be able to say no.

Do you think de-glam can be sexy?
I don't think de-glam is the word for Queen. Our efforts were not to go de-glam. In cliched Hindi films, a behenji sits at home and wonders, 'Why cannot I go out?' It's not the way we are, right? But in reality, they think they're cool and are doing much better than those who are doing unnecessary masti and wearing short skirts and all of that. And that's what Queen is. She thinks what she is doing is right and she is saving herself for this man who will commit to her. When all of that crashes, she still remains herself. She thinks she is very, very cool.

What's the coolest factor about you?
I don't think I'm cool. My friends think I'm 80 years old. They think I don't talk my age. I don't behave my age, I only have gyaan to give. My friends run away from me when they know I have to sit and talk. I'm apparently this very boring person. I cannot even pretend to be someone else. I'm just myself.

How do you think a woman can be the 'queen' of her life?
I'm totally the queen of my life. I'm not trying to be a feminist, but women by nature are giving, sensitive, gentle and all of that. But if you see Queen, it gives a beautiful message about being yourself.

You've stayed away from candyfloss cinema. Do you see yourself playing the sacrificing heroine anytime?
I think in the beginning of my career, I really hoped that I'd get films like that with big heroes and I'd do songs where my hair flies. But it didn't happen for the longest time. Then, I got Queen and other films. And now, I think it's too late. I get so much importance on the set. Who'd want to go back? I wouldn't want to be the second most important person on the set.

How has your journey been from an outsider to being considered a film and fashion icon...
Honestly, in the beginning, more than others, I was being harsh on myself. I was too young. I couldn't handle many things. It has been a bit of a disappointment in every way. I didn't land the kind of roles I thought I would after Gangster. Though I did give good films in between, until Queen, I never really thought I had gone beyond Gangster. At the age of 17, I'd done a film that I could have possibly done at the age of 30. There was no growth as such and as a creative person, I felt a bit dissatisfied. I think with time, it changed. Now I am in a much better place. With Queen, I hope I get better opportunities. It took me seven years to get a Queen, but I won't give another seven years of my life just sitting around and waiting for an opportunity like that. I would do better things. I would probably go into writing or into cooking, maybe.

Which has been your favourite among the characters you've played?
Apart from Queen, another is Revolver Rani. It's a very nice character. You studied screenplay writing at the New York Film Academy and made a short film.

Do you see yourself directing or writing at some point?
I love to be prepared for challenges in life. If something comes along, I would love to write and direct. Why not? Versus just doing things that I am not happy with, or for money; I am over that phase now.

You say you are not satisfied and want to do something better. Do you have something in mind?
No, I just hope I get good opportunities. I have Tanu Weds Manu 2. They have a good role for me. Also, when someone gives important years of his or her life to something — like Queen has taken two years of my life, when I look back I feel good. But I wouldn't want to give my years to things that aren't good. Because at some point, we know we all have limited time. We should not waste that time, right? My friend Bobby (Singh, cinematographer) died when he ate a crab. I was in depression for six months. His son was surfing and he was playing on the beach. He ate a crab and died in 10 minutes! So, life is like an illusion. He shot 98% of Queen and you never get your friend back when he's gone for just four days. I am not a fool to think I am any different from Bobby or any of us are, we aren't. And what happened to Bobby is nothing bad, it's something so natural. Everyone is going to die. To cut a long story short, I am trying to say that I understand we have limitations. Even if you don't die, we don't want to make movies all our lives, right? We want to retire at least. Let's settle it at that. This is what I think success would be to me: if I get to give my time to things that I want to do and they are significant to me, I would consider myself successful.

You have done many unconventional lead roles. Was it because of your choices or because they were offered to you?
The directors offered them to me. It's not that I chose to be in Queen. Vikas somewhere was convinced. When I read the script, I said to him, 'I can't do this, I don't know this girl'. I was a bit confused. If it wasn't for Vikas's conviction, I would never have really wanted to be in a film like that. A more obvious thing for me, as an actor, was to do a Tomb Raider sort of role, which I did get to do in Krrish 3. As a girl, you want to do kickass films, right? You wouldn't want to be a loser; like Queen is such a loser! You want to save the world and do things like that. You are distancing yourself in a way from the film industry.

Is there something about it you don't like?
I don't like many things about it. First of all, it's so disorganised. Vikas is one of these contemporary makers, a bit more methodical, but others are so disorganised. I remember when from the Krrish 3 set, I used to go to the Queen set, I'd be so much under stress. Vikas used to freak out. He'd say, 'You don't even walk like the same person, your walk has changed and my continuity won't match'. I'd be like, 'I can't shoot'. It used to take me months to get into Queen's character. He'd say, 'Okay fine, then we won't shoot today. Tell me when you're ready'. How many people are ready to do that? They don't respect you. They don't respect your craft. You give interviews and they tell you to dance or sing a song. How stupid is that? Is this what actors are reduced to? Are we like monkeys? I think this is a bit disrespectful. In this industry, everyone works like that. If you don't want to work on Sundays, other girls would. And they're like, you're very different. You write in your contracts that you want one day free in a week. We can't function like that. But, you're like, I have upper lips to do!

Did that cost you a couple of roles?
Not yet. When people don't want to give me a day free, I don't say I want one. You do feel bad about it but everyone works like that. Sometimes I really have to stand up for my staff. It's one-and-a-half shifts — they are going on for 16 hours. This whole raw way of working, when people were gareeb and all that, I would understand. But now that we are doing so well... As an industry, we are better than many in the world. So, we should at least have some organised system, some sort of infrastructure. Not behave like we know nothing.

What is it that you have that your contemporaries don't?
I am a bit detached. I don't want to do the same stuff as other actresses. Everyone I guess wants to work with the Khans. I am sort of over that phase. We definitely aren't hoping to get the same projects.

Do you miss being in a relationship?
Not at all. I don't think I am a relationship person. It's so hard to maintain a relationship. When you are in a relationship, your views do change. You really love someone and you can't imagine talking like this. But when you are not in a relationship, you do like your freedom. You love the fact that you're on your own and you can be in a relationship with literally anyone you'd like. But when you're in a relationship, you have to cheat to do that.

You didn't get enough due for some of your performances?
Jo bhi I have done, I got due for that. I just think that many films — I won't name them because I don't want to disrespect people — bombed because of wrong casting. I think if I were given the opportunity, they would not have bombed. We all feel why can't I get that opportunity. We do feel that about contemporaries; they are all useless, they don't deserve what they get. So, I do feel that sometimes, why did this person get this opportunity, why can't I? I can do better, maybe.

Any roles you wanted to play?
This is a different example I am giving, but I am giving you this one to tell you the kind of roles I would love to do. Sonakshi (Sinha) in Lootera. This girl has actually done so much better than anyone else could have done. She was so beautiful in that film. She's so talented, she should get more roles like that. I would love to do a period film like that. In fact, I am hoping two things come my way — a good biopic about not maybe an iconic woman, but a real person and a period drama; that will be great. I'll be pretty much done.

How was your experience at London Fashion Week?
It was very good. It was the first time that I went to an international fashion week. Also, I was sitting opposite Bradley Cooper, the American Hustle star.

Did you meet him?
I didn't. He was there for his girlfriend. Apparently, he's dating Suki Waterhouse, who is a model. She was walking in the show. No one was expecting him, it was very surprising.

Watch the trailer here: