Kangana Ranaut on feud with Hrithik: My mother cried, asked me to stop. But that's no way to live

From talking about Rangoon and her character Julia to speaking her mind on how it felt fighting Hrithik Roshan, Kangana Ranaut bared it all in an exclusive interview with India Today.

Two releases in 2017. Could one of them get you national award no. 4?

(Laughs) Fingers crossed.  Julia is out there. If a performer doesn't sink her teeth into it and make her own legacy out of it, then shame on that person. Simran is an author-backed role. I would be pleasantly surprised to see better-written characters than Julia and Simran this year. In that case if I do not get a national award, then really shame on me.

You prefer national awards over the commercial ones.

Commercial awards don't make a fuss about (the fact) that they are for TRPs. With national awards, that's not the case. It is shown on DD. To be honest you have to keep track of them. If you don't show up, they don't really care. I remember last time I was almost locked out of the ceremony because I was running late after giving TV interviews. I was worried that the doors will be shut. My father went around and pleaded and then we sneaked in.

You play jaanbaaz Julia in Rangoon, a character which is reminiscent of the iconic 'Fearless Nadia'.

It is an amalgamation of many characters from the 1940s. When I did some research (for the part), I discovered that there were a lot of stuntwomen who were action heroines. People loved them to death. The kind of stardom they enjoyed I don't think we can in the age of social media. Stars are not worshipped now.

Vishal sir wanted to bring the iconic image of a woman with a hunter in hand. The 1940s were so progressive that  fierceness and sensuality went hand in hand. Now you can either be sensuous or timid. The action heroine is still celebrated in the west. They have kickass characters. Here we lost our mojo and started depicting really submissive, obedient and goody-two-shoes women which became the norm.

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It is your first collaboration with Vishal Bhardwaj. How was it working with him?

Vishal sir has been extremely courteous. I remember early in the stage of casting when there were a lot of opinions from producers etc. on who they want to cast, he said that I cannot see anyone other than Kangana playing jaanbaaz Julia.

I remember I was very pleased with my first look test. He wasn't as he was seeking a certain innocence combined with the fierceness of a woman. He decided my haircut. He stood there when it was happening. He decided which lip shade I should wear. Every garment of mine was approved by him - from the patterns to the fabric. He has invested a lot in her.

It's not just about the external being. He really delves into the duality of a woman - her fragility and stubbornness. If you see all his women characters - from Tabu in Haider and Maqbool to Priyanka in Saat Khoon Maaf - they are very grey. He is really drawn to the complexity of a woman's psyche. That's very attractive to me.

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What traits of heroines from that era you wish existed now?

Those days they did their own stunts. There were no body doubles. They worked very hard. That was very inspiring. Today it is becoming very superficial. I try to do as much as one can. If you don't then you subconsciously disconnect from the audience because they know whose back it is. In Rangoon, I have done everything on my own - horse riding and sword fighting. I have not used a dupe.

You have spoken of how last year was a low point for you personally. How did you keep yourself going?

When you deal with malice and betrayal from someone who you have been extremely close to, of course, it does affect you. There is a character assassination - that too publicly - by that individual in whom you put all your faith and love. It has been very hard to deal with. But the fighter instinct in me dominates every other instinct. I did not think twice. I see so many woman committing suicide and falling into depression and my only point is why do they fail to attack? I'm not saying strip others off their dignity too. But you have got to say no to the healer archetype. I am extremely bold. I sent a notice back. I did not take it lying down.

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It was a bold move on your part. You were breaking the industry rules which is to not talk about a relationship. Did people tell you to back out?

My own family, my mother was like don't do all these things and say, "Bade log hain tumhe marwa daalenge." She would cry all the time. Out of concern and love, they wanted me to shut up not because they don't know want the truth to be out but (because) that's the best thing. But that's not the way to live. If you let your guard down, the other person then gets an opportunity to attack you. It is important to  protect yourself.

I was not fighting any individual battle but fighting against many prejudices. I took it all in my stride. So I am a whore, I'm sexually attractive, have psychological problems, capable of falling in love with men passionately. So what is my future? What should be done with me. They have nothing to say. They can't kill the fierceness.

You are known to speak your mind. Don't you feel it may hurt you on the professional front?

I personally feel that women are made out to be a nurturer or a healer. We really over-identify with that archetype. We need to put a rein to it when it threatens our own dignity, pride and instinct. If someone I feel is being mean, obnoxious or unfair and threatening my survival instinct, as an individual my first and foremost duty is to protect my own dignity as a woman. I have done that whether it is from my father who had his standards of strict parenting, to my initial years in the industry when they tried to humiliate me and slot me in B-grade cinema. I fought that and even nepotism.

I speak my mind. I don't think twice before answering back to anyone. It doesn't matter what a great artist you are and how big you are in the industry. I don't encourage bullying or teasing. Why should I?

(The writer tweets as @suhani84.)

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