Friends who last a lifetime

In their small and cosy television world, the characters of Friends may seem a little removed from reality.

But apparently the sitcom closeness of Rachel, Joey, Chandler, Ross, Phoebe and Monica does indeed reflect an underlying truth about our lives.

Researchers have revealed that we make nearly 400 friendships in a lifetime - but maintain only a handful.

We form an average of 396 personal relationships but only 33, one in 12, will stand the test of time.

And only one in five of these - just half a dozen people - is considered a close friend while the rest are 'social friendships'.

But in the modern world we tend to see people in this group at least ten times as often as we see our closest companions. Experts say the figures-reflect social changes in Britain such as the willingness to move to look for jobs and the culture of long working hours.

Susan Quilliam, a leading relationship psychologist, said: 'Two generations ago we probably would not have made anywhere near 400 friends.

'But we are a lot more mobile now, we don't live in the same town or village all our lives and don't have jobs for life so we come into contact with many more people and make lots of social friends.

'The number of close friends, who we can really count on when we need them, however, is probably unchanged.'

The survey of 10,000 Britons revealed that 58 per cent name friends as the most important thing in their lives, above money, career and even family.

However, it also found that both men and women meet up with their closest friends just six times a year on average.

By contrast women see their social friends twice a week on average and men once every five days.

The study, carried out by Microsoft's MSN Messenger website, also revealed the existence of 'silent friends'.

These are people who you rarely see face to face or even speak to but may communicate with by email and text message. A third of people in their 20s and 30s are said to have friends of this type.

According to the survey, men are likely to be friendship 'harvesters' - with lots of friends but only occasional contact.

Women are far more likely to be 'cultivators', meaning they are in constant touch with friends to nurture relationships.

The researchers also described another category - 'pruners' - who make and drop friends quickly to stay 'in with the 'in-crowd'.

Seven in ten people said losing so many friends was one of their biggest regrets in life.