About Laia Pedreño Mateu
Psychotherapist, Dating Coach, and EMDR Practitioner (she/her/ella)
Online therapy and coaching for shy introverts, chronically single adults, and highly sensitive trauma survivors
Hi! How are you?! I'm Laia Pedreño Mateu. I'm a California-licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (#106526), dating coach, and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) provider who works with highly sensitive people who feel anxious around other humans. My goal is to help you clarify what you want, develop insight, and break harmful patterns so that you can build happier relationships and in turn a more fulfilling life.
As a coach and therapist, I thoroughly enjoy guiding my clients, including:
Supporting socially anxious people to build confidence and self-esteem so that they can enjoy more meaningful relationships.
Showing chronically single people how to clarify what they want out of their love life, meet more people they're interested in dating, and figure out why they aren't getting second dates so that they can finally find their person.
Helping highly sensitive trauma survivors heal from shame, overcome anxiety, and learn how to connect with others so that they can build happier lives.
My journey to becoming a shame slayer (and therapist and coach)
As a highly-sensitive child of a sometimes-chaotic family, I grew up longing for an adult that would guide and understand me. I also felt the pull to help others from a young age.
Since the ripe age of 11, I’ve been a voracious consumer of psychology and self-help books. Between the chaos of my family and bullying by kids at school, I was in desperate need of guidance. Even then, some part of me knew that there had to be a better way to do life than what I was experiencing.
In that way, you might say I’ve been training to be a therapist and coach since my youth.
I survived my teen years thanks to various healthy and not-so-healthy coping mechanisms: overachieving, writing, perfectionism, and reading every fantasy novel I could get my hands on. In truth, my adolescent self needed a kind, wise therapist to help me through those years; in the absence of that, I entered adulthood anxious and hungry for healing.
I spent my young adulthood copywriting by day and attending personal growth workshops by night. Then in 2008, I traveled from my home country of Spain to visit the famous Esalen (a retreat center on the central California coast known for being the center of the Human Potential movement in the 70s) and deepen my training in Gestalt therapy. What was originally meant to be a month-long retreat turned into a 5-year residency, which I jokingly refer to as my healing bender :).
Through Gestalt training, hours of personal therapy, and countless personal growth workshops, I learned how to identify and express my feelings. By participating in transformational groups, I felt seen and understood for the first time in my life. I put down the enormous shame I’d always carried, realizing that we all have similar pains, even if our stories differ.
Recognizing that I’m not the only one who worries that they’re weird or messed up improved my relationships immensely.
It also inspired me to help others realize the same by becoming a therapist and coach. Though secretly my preferred title is Shame Slayer ;).
In case you’re still wondering whether I’m human like you, here are some fun facts:
I read a ton of fantasy and science fiction books and love discussing them. Some of my favs include the Murderbot series by Martha Wells and Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir.
At the slightest provocation, I will rise to defend my rigid and unpopular opinions about chocolate and ice cream flavors. Specifically, chocolate paired with mint is abominable and if I was a dictator it would be forbidden. Chocolate’s perfect partner is hazelnut, not peanut butter (although that is a step up from mint).
I frequently sing to my mini golden doodle, Lucy, about how great she is, i.e. making up new lyrics to cheesy 80s tunes. She’s very patient with me 🐶.
My why: seeing my clients thrive
As a therapist, I live for the moments when my clients and I enter unfamiliar territory. There’s nothing more thrilling than seeing a light go on in my clients’ eyes as they unapologetically reclaim aspects of their truest selves.
I know firsthand how difficult it is to transmute self-criticism into self-compassion. I also know that there’s no other path if you want healthy, genuine relationships.
See, throughout my young adulthood, I repeatedly found my way into romantic relationships that seemed promising but ended up painful. Looking back, I now recognize that my toxic beliefs about myself kept me stuck in that pattern. I understand firsthand the bafflement and sense of being “cursed” that prompts my chronically single clients to seek dating therapy.
And as someone who struggled with low self-esteem thanks to being bullied as a child, I know firsthand the loneliness and intrusive self-criticism that motivates my shy clients to seek social anxiety support.
That's why I’m here – to help you wake up to your own lovability so that you can in turn give and receive love (the genuine, healthy, reciprocal kind!).
I’m delighted when a client fires me because they're thriving and don’t need me anymore!
My unique gifts: warmth, directness, and playfulness
My clients say that they appreciate my warmth, directness, sense of humor, and eloquence.
My integrity and grounded nature generally put people at ease.
I’m also told I have a knack for truly seeing people. I enjoy reflecting my client’s strengths back to them, especially those that they’ve learned to hide or dismiss (sensitive men and strong women, I see and applaud you!).
I have an exceptional capacity for helping my clients identify the roots of their painful patterns. With compassion, gentle-yet-incisive questions, and awe for my client’s bravery, I help them identify the part they unconsciously play in their repetitive relationship difficulties.
Along the way, I provide copious tools to help my clients develop self-love. I also use trauma-informed approaches such as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and Internal Family Systems (IFS), taking exceptional care to work with my client’s natural pace and readiness to revisit past hurts.
I often remind my clients that therapy is less than one hour a week and encourage them to lean into loved ones and other support networks between sessions. When necessary or appropriate, I happily make specific recommendations for adjunctive support and coordinate care with other professionals on my client’s care team.
Still wanting to get a sense of who I am? Try listening to our podcast, I Love You, Too. I’ve been interviewed about:
Boundaries in Dating & Relationships (to be published in August 2024!)
I'm passionate about tailoring our sessions to meet your unique needs
Sessions will provide you with clarity, a new perspective, and concrete skills. In feeling accepted, hopeful, and seen, you'll be able to break harmful patterns, take positive action, and learn how to connect with others.
My goal is to create an environment of emotional safety that leaves you feeling connected, open, and self-compassionate.
There isn't a "one size fits all" approach to therapy or coaching. Our sessions will fit your specific needs and concerns.
As a therapist, I embrace the following philosophies
I believe that:
Black lives matter
Diversity makes us stronger
We can do hard things
It's not selfish to take care of yourself
Asking for help is brave
Neurodiversity deserves celebration
The future is inclusive
My professional background
I am a trauma-informed Marriage and Family Therapist licensed by the State of California. I have extensive training in Gestalt therapy, eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), Flash Technique, Internal Family Systems (IFS), group therapy, and Calling in the One Coaching.
I received my Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies. After graduation, I interned at the Mental Research Institute for 2 years, learning about Strategic Family Therapy and systemic approaches.
I have also supervised trainees and associates in providing services to recently immigrated students at a high school in Oakland.
Services I provide
Let’s discover how I can help
This quote hangs in my office and perfectly captures what I love about being a therapist:
“All the things that make us feel alone connect us as humans.”
I would be honored to help you find your way out of isolation into a life filled with meaningful relationships.
Reach out and let us know that I could be your best fit therapist.
When you reach out, you'll talk to our Care Coordinator and, you can share what’s going on for you, ask any questions you may have, and get scheduled for your first session with me.
Fill out the free 30-minute consultation application today to get started. I'm here for you.
