How To: Be Memorable

October 4, 2009

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reader's question

This week's e-mail comes from Tim, who writes:

Hello,

Last weekend I was invited by a friend to what they call a “walking dinner” these days. There were lots of interesting people at that event, so naturally I started networking (you never know which doors you could unlock). The thing is, though, when I got home and thought about it, I wondered if I made an unforgettable impression. I reckon that people liked me since I was charming and funny, but not intrusive.

I'm not sure that these people will remember me vividly if I'd contact them in the near future. I doubt that this sort of general chitchat will stick, but you can't be too pushy in these kinds of events where people are probably relieved to spend the night without talking business.

So my question is: How can you make an unforgettable impression when networking?

Thanks in advance!

Tim

response

Tim, thank you for your question. First off, good for you on wanting to be more memorable. It sounds like you're a friendly guy and that you want to make good connections with people. The most important thing when meeting others is to be yourself. If you're playing a role or trying to seem more interesting than you are, you'll come across as trying to impress others. We can borrow a rule of thumb from the world of pickups that works for all social situations: “Don't just be yourself, be the best possible version of yourself.” That is to say, you don't want to act fake to try and impress others, but being interesting and interested will put your best foot forward. Think of this in terms of dating: The average girl won't judge you that heavily based on what you're wearing, as long as it doesn't stink and there aren't any holes in it.

That being said, here are a few things you can do to learn how to be memorable.

Give them a hook

When you meet new people, always give them something to remember you by — a mental hook they can hold onto you with. In her excellent book, How to Talk to Anyone, author Leil Lowndes suggests a technique called “Never the Naked Introduction.” Whenever you're introduced to someone new, give them a little introduction about yourself. Not a speech mind you; a few words will do.

Let's say you're living in Canada and went to visit your brother Scott in Florida. When meeting his friends, try saying this: “Hi, I'm Tim, Scott's brother from Canada.” That's the minimum. You can go funnier or deeper based on the situation. “Hi, I'm Tim, Scott's brother. I'm down from Canada on surveillance.” It can be a quick blurb about where you're from, why you're there or what company you work for (that last one works better for work situations like a convention rather than dinner with friends). The point is to give others something simple — but memorable — about you.

Don't try to be funny

Don't get me wrong, being funny in a conversation is a good thing. But if you're trying to be funny, you're probably trying too hard. Think about people you've met in the past who've tried too hard to be funny. How many jokes did it take them to cross your own personal “What's wrong with this guy?” barrier? Not many. If you're just chitchatting, you should be paying more attention to the conversation than trying to work in your stand-up routine.

We have three more tips on how to be memorable next...

First Impression

Communication