Nothing can throw a Kardashian-sized wet blanket over wedding bell bliss like talk of a prenuptial agreement.
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But prenups have become increasingly common for couples looking to hash out sticky financial details before they walk down the aisle, says family law attorney Steve Mindel.
Based in California, Mindel's seen his share of negotiations go sour, but he has practical advice for everyday consumers looking to protect themselves if their marriage takes a turn for the worst.
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Use religion as a buffer
Many couples will undergo some sort of religious counseling before they tie the knot, Mindel points out.
"That's a good place to start the conversation, especially if the clergy are openminded about these things." Plus, chances are low that anyone's going to start throwing blows in a religious institution.
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Don't be defensive
"The No. 1 mistake people make is that the party making more money comes to the table and says, 'I want my stuff to be my stuff because I'm worth more,'" Mindel says.
"But if you discredit the hard work of the one who makes less money, that's not a good way to start off the negotiations of the prenup." (See 8 tips for couples drafting a budget.)
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Cover all your bases
There are typically five pillars to every prenup:
How to handle the income each partner makes before marriage, how to handle your prior assets (businesses, homes, etc), division of property acquired during the marriage, your retirement plans, and how you'll handle spousal support.
Don't get caught up in the whole "What if we get divorced?" thing and focus on the separate elements to keep things professional, Mindel says.
If you're not seeking religious counseling but you're both openminded about the idea of getting a prenup, Mindel suggests using a mediator who specializes in prenups to help hash out the legal details.
No matter how you slice it, getting a prenup is an expensive process that can cost between $10K and $15K in legal fees.
"You could technically do a prenup without lawywers but its very complicated to do that," Mindel adds.
Chances are that if neither party can afford to get a prenup, they probably don't earn enough income to justify having one anyway. Sites like LegalZoom.com and RocketLawyer.com both offer tools for prenups online.
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Do it before you start sending out wedding invites
It will take between three and four weeks to negotiate the terms of your prenup, so don't leave it until the last minute, Mindel says.
A good rule of thumb? Plan to have it all squared away before you send out the Save the Date notices to wedding guests.
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Try to soften the blow if your partner earns less
If you're marrying a spouse with significantly less income and want a prenup, you can soften the blow by inviting him or her to visit with your estate planner afterward, Mindel suggests.
"That's one of the most successful strategies ... we go to the estate planner to make sure that if I die before you, you'll be well taken care of."
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Look at the bright side
"If we look at the prenup as some kind of domineering document that the advantaged spouse will have the disadvantaged spouse under their thumb, then it makes it very difficult to negotiate," he says.
Think of it this way: Prenups are a way to customize the law to suit your needs, especially if your state is particularly unkind when it comes to spousal support.
Mandi edited the personal finance vertical for Business Insider until October 2013. Before joining BI, she covered breaking legal news for Law360.com, was a research editor at Reader's Digest, and reported on education in her home state of Georgia.Her work has appeared in Yahoo! Finance, Daily Finance, The Wall Street Journal, The Fiscal Times, The Christian Science Monitor and the Financial Times, among others.
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