How to Get Back With Your Ex

According to reports, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are back together after that whole cheating scandal. Huh. Experts weigh in on if getting back together with your ex-boyfriend is a good idea — and share the rules you must follow, if you do decide to give it another try.

It's hard to slam on the brakes when you're making up for lost time, not to mention enjoying being so familiar with each other. But admit it or not, you've both changed and need to take time to get reacquainted. "Try to look at it as a brand-new relationship," says relationship therapist Bethany Marshall, PhD, author of Deal Breakers.

While you might be dying to fast-forward to cozy Saturday mornings in bed, it's important to stop and think about why you want to be together…just like you would while getting close with any guy.

Be honest with yourself: If the idea of going to another party alone makes you cringe, you're more likely craving a quick fix for loneliness, not your ex, says Michael Broder, PhD, author of Can Your Relationship Be Saved? And sooner or later, you'll be saying "We need to talk" all over again. But if you can picture backpacking across Europe with him next summer — and he can too — your heart is probably in the right place.

You split for a reason…even if it's hazy now. But you and your ex-ex need to face what went wrong the first time if you're going to move forward, says couples therapist Robert Buchicchio, author of Taking Space, and then let it go, once and for all. Try hashing out the bigger points of what you want to do differently this time in a way that isn't threatening, like "It would make me happy if…" and have him do the same.

Then really act on it: If he couldn't stand your liberal definition of arriving "on time," make a point to be early. And if your hot button was not getting a text when he was out late, call him out if he trips up again. Just pick your battles when it comes to past issues or you'll be back where you started.

The upside of having split once is it probably over made you stronger. "Every time we break up with someone, we learn how to have our own lives," Marshall says. So whether you went skydiving or dated someone else, you gained a new perspective that only makes you better this time.

As for what (or whom) you did during your split, it's best not to go into excruciating details, Broder advises. Instead, focus on the great time you're having together now…not then.