10 Ways To Surprise Him After All These Years

Between driving the kids to school, meetings, and housework — and that's before noon — keeping things fresh often gets put on the back burner. Make it a priority by tricking him into a sweet surprise. Jessie Dillon of Dallas, TX, and her husband are always trying to get each other to run errands. "It seems that if I'm not asking him to pick up the dry cleaning, I'm having him meet my family for lunch," she says. "Recently, I decided to surprise him by having him 'meet me to have his suit tailored.' He begrudgingly agreed, and when he showed up, I handed him two tickets to a baseball game so that we could enjoy his idea of a great afternoon."

Over time, it's normal to begin to take for granted all the little things your husband does to keep the house going, like always mowing the lawn or taking out the trash. But doing this can make men feel like they're clocking in and out of a second job. Make a "thank you" list and write out everything you're grateful for — or better yet, make a big display of giving him a kiss on the cheek for a job well done. Science proves that being generous, whether with kisses, appreciation, or compliments, makes couples feel "very happy" together, according to a recent study from University of Virginia's National Marriage Project. That generous "thank you" will make him feel like a hero for the day — which is exactly what he craves.

For most women, the obstacle to breaking out of sexual humdrum is not being able to relax, so Carin Goldstein, marriage and family therapist and founder of Be the Smart Wife, suggests stepping outside of your comfort zone — literally. According to a recent study by Trojan Brand Condoms, 32 percent of Americans have had sex outdoors, with one in three having hooked up on the beach or at a friend's place and one in four at their in-laws' house. If you're one of the 68 percent who hasn't, it's time to get out of your rut.

Doesn't every man have an old — like, really old — chair from his college days or a favorite pair of ratty sneakers that he can't seem to throw away? Embrace his well-worn objects by breathing new life into them, rather than throwing them in the garbage. "My husband has a favorite pair of shoes that he wears all the time, and they're getting really worn-out," says Lindsay Powers Eichmann of Brooklyn, NY. "There's even a hole on the bottom of the sole of one. I'm going to swipe them and take them to my favorite cobbler and have them fixed up so he can wear them until they fall apart again."

Just like you value your girls nights, often complete with copious amounts of wine and Real Housewives trash-talking, men need their bonding time. Surprise your husband by volunteering to stay home with the kids while he heads off on a guys weekend. It's important for men to have their space to play, tell stupid jokes, and chill — and this doesn't mean hitting up the strip clubs in Vegas, says Orlov. He'll probably return from a fishing, camping or game day with his buddies with a throbbing head and smelling like a distillery, but he'll be a happy hubby and you'll get the credit.

It sounds simple, but hear us out. With flooded inboxes and constant texts, receiving an actual hand-written, slightly naughty note is pretty special. "My husband travels for work a lot, so I'll often send along a sexy love note explaining what I can't wait to do to him when he gets home. I'm not above sending a photo via Snapchat of me in my unmentionables," says Stephanie Costa of Austin, TX of the iPhone and Android app that allows you to control how long someone can view an image before it's automatically deleted.

Women do a lot in relationships, but aren't always the best at kicking things off in the bedroom. "For women, what holds us back is feeling foolish and being uncomfortable in our own skin," says Orlov. "But we can actually gain confidence by initiating sex." She suggests ditching the subtlety — men just don't care about candlelit dinners the same way we do — and surprising him by getting into bed in sexy lingerie when he thinks you're settling in for a night of Modern Family. "He won't care what's on TV at this point — as long as you don't do it during the Super Bowl," she says.