How to Make Friends in High School
On my first day of ninth grade, I met the most popular guy in school. He buzzed by on his vespa and scared me so much that I dropped all my books on the floor. He pulled over and profusely apologized, eventually inviting me to his barbecue that night. Within hours, he became one of my best friends. While I do not condone this method of socializing, it’s still one of my favorite friend-making stories, it just goes to show you never know what new friend you’ll unknowingly run into. Or buzz by on a bicycle.
In the spirit of new friends and the upcoming school-year, we asked people which method of making friends worked best for them when they were in high school.
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Paramount/Courtesy Everett Collection1/12Read on for great advice and personal stories on how to make friends in high school.
Happy socializing!
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Giphy.com2/12Put Yourself Out There
“Just put yourself out there. Even if you’re not sure if who you’re hanging out with will end up being your best friend, you never know what might happen! They could surprise you, or introduce you to someone else with whom you’ll form a lifelong bond.”
— Ian
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Giphy.com3/12Join Clubs
"Joining clubs that you are interested in is a great way — you will meet like-minded people who also love to build robots or knit or play soccer, or whatever your interests are. Take a risk and sit next to a stranger at lunch — the worst that can happen is that they are rude and at least you will save years of being friends with a rude person!
And this is going to sound odd, but 'sniff them out.' Scent is really important to me, so if I don't like the way someone smells, I know our friendship is doomed. In high school everyone is working out their perfume/cologne game, so find people who wear scents you enjoy, give a compliment. Let them know their choice was solid, and you will be surprised at how far this goes!"
— Ivy
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Giphy.com4/12Befriend Yourself First
"Start by making friends with yourself. If you consider yourself the coolest, most stylish, most interesting person to hang out with, chances are others will too. I think most girls grow up with a fear of being too much. Too loud, too large, too extreme. We have this assumption that self-love is arrogant. But it’s not. You can totally admire yourself without being conceited.
Spend time alone. This sounds contradictory, but it’s not. Remember, you’re the coolest person in the world, so why wouldn’t you want to spend a night by yourself? Instead of worrying about where the cool kids are hanging out, or why you weren’t invited to someone's party, take a moment to appreciate all the incredible things you can do by yourself."
— Lisa
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Giphy.com5/12Challenge Yourself
"Get involved with extra curricular activities that you love, as well as those that make you uncomfortable or nervous. It allows you to interact with and become friendly with the widest range of people at your high school from all grades and of all ages. For example, I was a big theatre kid. I loved doing the school plays and musicals, however, I knew that I wanted to meet and become friendly with other people outside of the theatre community, so I decided to run for student government and join the cross county team. I wouldn't consider myself a very skilled runner as I only ran a couple times a week for exercise. So, joining the cross country team and having to compete in 5k races was a big challenge and fear. Same with student government as I was putting myself in a new and uncomfortable situation by running for a position in front of my entire school body."
— Jason
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Giphy.com6/12Follow Your Gut
"Befriend those you gravitate towards. You'll just end up in conversations with those who are like you. It doesn't have to be forced, but you have to be willing to smile and say 'Hello!' You can't put your head down and avoid social situations. When I started high school, I thought I was 'too cool' and figured everyone would come to me. And they didn't. It wasn't until I made an effort myself that I started making friends, and I'm still friends with them ten years later. One is actually my roommate."
— Daniel
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Giphy.com7/12Be Yourself
"The summer before my first year of high school, I remember making feverish plans with my best friend. We had decided that, in high school, we were going to finally be popular. Everyone would want to be friends with us. We bought tanning oil and makeup and got new 'cool' clothes. Fall rolled around, and we were ready.
As it turned out, we failed. We didn’t get invited to the cool parties and no one thought we were that interesting. But we pursued passions like swimming and choir and theatre. We had sleepovers and ordered pizza and stayed up late into the night talking about our futures and dreams. We went to midnight showings of our favorite movies and dressed up in weird costumes. We never became 'popular.' Instead, we became something much more important, and attainable: Comfortable with ourselves. “
— Rachel
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Giphy.com8/12Do What You Love
"I really started connecting with people were when I pursued activities that interested me. Things that I did because I genuinely enjoyed doing them, not because I thought they would earn the approval of other people. I liked to play music, so by practicing my instruments and finding people to 'jam' with, I felt a real sense of community develop amongst multiple musicians. I realized that if I continued to spend time developing this skill, which I loved, it was something I would have for the rest of my life. I could always pick up a drum or a guitar, wherever I was, and communicate with people that way!"
— Wyatt
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Giphy.com9/12Stick With Those Who Make You Laugh
"When I was in high school, I remember having a hard time deciding whether I wanted to be friends with folks because of their genuine qualities or because of the social status I would attain by being their friend.
In the end I stuck with my one or two buddies with whom I laughed at flatulence jokes. I'm happy I went with my gut feeling. Fourteen years later we're still closer than two farts in a spacesuit."
— Robert
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Giphy.com10/12Go With the Flow
"Don't be afraid to be taken under someone's wing, and vice versa. It may feel counterintuitive in a world that demands hyper individualism in almost every area of life, but if you've got that one friend who is always including you in their not-necessarily-your-cup-of-tea plans, but you know you vibe with them on a fundamental level, don't fight it too much! Let go a little, show up, and just go with the flow.
I found it easier to make friends being in the driver's seat — literally. Be the designated driver. Now, keep in mind that I absolutely adore driving, and I do believe this is an important requisite if you're hoping to have time in the car equals quality time with your homies, otherwise you're at risk of some very special kinds of road rage. But there's something really enjoyable and gratifying about playing DJ, laughing with your friends through the rear view mirror, and spontaneously caravanning the squad to various destinations."
— Eleanor
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Giphy.com11/12Find Friends Who Make You Happy
"Honestly, hang out with people that make you feel good about yourself. You don’t have to be friends with people who make you feel bad. That’s the most important part."
— Ally
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