BY JAMES TARANTO
Friday, December 9, 2005 1:33 p.m. EST Reuters Questions Holocaust
Yesterday we noted that a Reuters dispatch, titled "Iran's President Questions Holocaust," included this sentence: "Historians say six million Jews were killed in the Nazi Holocaust." A later version of the dispatch, however, deleted the words "Historians say" and presented the Holocaust as fact: "The Nazis killed some 6 million Jews during their 1933-1945 rule."
But today, Reuters has a new formulation:
Historians say six million Jews were killed in the Nazi Holocaust. Regarding this widely-accepted view, Ahmadinejad was quoted by the official Iranian news agency IRNA . . .
Reuters, of course, famously forbade its "reporters" from referring to the Sept. 11 attacks as an act of terrorism. "We're trying to treat everyone on a level playing field," said Stephen Jukes, the "global news editor," in September 2001. Apparently Reuters thinks Holocaust deniers are entitled to a "level playing field," even if that means downgrading a historical fact to a "widely accepted view."
The 'Seinfeld' Democrats
Our item yesterday on the Democrats' antimilitary attitude prompted this response from reader Scott Wallace:
Your discussion reminded me of a friend's decision to follow anything negative he said with, "But I support the troops!" If he didn't like the meal he just ate, he would follow his complaint with "But I support the troops!" Complaints about a bad parking spot? "But I support the troops!"
It reminds me of an episode of "Seinfeld" in which Jerry and George were suspected of being gay. Throughout the whole show, anytime anything potentially negative towards homosexuals was mentioned, someone would say, "Not that there's anything wrong with that!" This would give them coverage to be as vicious or insensitive toward the gay lifestyle as they were toward anything else. In later interviews, Jerry Seinfeld admitted that the phrase was added in to the scripts late just to give them coverage. It was a wink to political correctness, and it was funny because you knew it was just a wink.
Today's Democrats feel free to say anything they want about this war--including John Kerry's recent claims of war atrocities by the troops, and Howard Dean's feeling that the war is unwinnable--as long as they follow up with, "But I support the troops!" Every time I hear them say they support the troops I think of that "Seinfeld" episode. Both phrases ring hollow and insincere, calculated to give them coverage. Seinfeld's "coverage" was funny because you knew he didn't really mean it, and such is becoming the case with the Democrats.
Democrats don't seem to understand that they're in danger of becoming a tag-line joke.
This is an excellent idea. We may even be able to work it into our John Kerry* footnotes.
* The haughty, French-looking Massachusetts Democrat, who by the way thinks American servicemen are war criminals and terrorists. But he supports the troops!
The Bullet America Dodged
We spent lunch yesterday hearing the Jerusalem Post's excellent Khaled Abu Toameh address the Hudson Institute, so we were--alas, alack!--forced to skip John Kerry's** speech at the Council on Foreign Relations. But our erstwhile colleague Ira Stoll, now of the New York Sun, attended, and his report leads us to think we accepted the right invitation:
What was left was John Forbes Kerry and that pompous, droning voice. "Our good will has been squandered," he said in full indignant senatorial-scold mode. "Washington is failing to take the basic steps necessary to keep us safe."
He said that holding detainees "indefinitely in a legal no-man's land" was eroding America's "moral authority" in the war on terror. He called for "an international order of mutual respect and cooperation," a "global consensus."
Those were just his prepared remarks. In the question and answer session, Mr. Kerry went further, declaring himself "very optimistic" about the prospect of negotiation with Iran, predicting that China is going to be "the preeminent economy of this century," and warning that Greenland's ice shelf is melting, with "devastating consequences" for New York, Boston, and Florida.
"We are not safer because of Iraq," Mr. Kerry said. "The region is in greater turmoil." He said that America's unpopularity abroad means that "A lot of people don't want to do business with us. That hurts our economy." The latest economic growth statistics and low unemployment seem not to have intruded on Mr. Kerry's world view.
Stoll offers a mischievous suggestion for how President Bush can revive his approval ratings: buy TV time to air the Kerry speech. "There could be a certain political advantage for the president in reminding the American people, subtly or not, 'Hey, you think I'm bad? It could have been a lot worse. You could have been stuck with the junior senator from Massachusetts.' "
But he supports the troops!
** Did we mention he served in Vietnam?
In the Dark, Thriving on Manure
"Kerry Felt Like a Mushroom"--headline, Advertiser (Adelaide, Australia), Dec. 9
Not That There's Anything Wrong With That!
"Bush Could Run Away With Heisman"--headline, Daily News (New York), Dec. 9
Whatever You Do, Don't Tell Anyone!
"Bill Clinton to Surprise U.N. conference"--headline, Associated Press, Dec. 9
The World's Smallest Violin
"A co-defendant in the trial of Saddam Hussein complained on Wednesday about the quality of cigarettes the U.S. military gave him while in custody," Reuters reports from Baghdad:
Barzan Ibrahim al-Tikriti, Saddam's former intelligence chief and one of his most feared sidekicks, also said the food was bad and he was not given blankets. He lost 18 kilos [40 pounds] in just two months in captivity, he complained.
"We were detained by one of the wealthiest countries in the world, yet it was only after four months in detention that they gave me cigarettes," said Barzan, charged with crimes against humanity.
Hey, we're just looking out for his health. It would be a tragedy if he were to die of lung cancer or emphysema before his execution.
Contra Menendez
Not all Democrats are happy with New Jersey's Gov.-elect Jon Corzine's choice of Rep. Bob Menendez to fill the Senate seat Corzine is vacating. In an Election Day posting, Angry Left blogger Markos Moulitsas linked to a column by Mike Kelly of the Bergen Record on prospective Senate replacements. Kelly wrote:
Menendez, the third-ranking Democrat in the House of Representatives, has long dreamed of becoming a U.S. senator. But Democrats worry he has too much baggage, notably a former girlfriend who reportedly obtained lucrative contracts as a lobbyist.
The fear here is that [likely GOP nominee Tom] Kean [Jr.] would be seen as a clean candidate, with Menendez as too closely tied to the state's pay-to-play corruption racket.
Says Moulitsas: "Democrats need to run squeaky clean in 2006. And every other year, for that matter."
Does Zarqawi Take Shorthand?
Here's an amusing goof from the Associated Press: "Terrorists also have made only infrequent use of stenography, the practice of hiding a text message in another kind of file, typically a picture."
Actually, stenography, also known as shorthand, is a method of taking notes. The AP meant steganography.
Great Moments in Socialized Medicine
London's Daily Telegraph reminds us why the idea of government-controlled health care is a terrifying one:
People who are grossly overweight, who smoke heavily or drink excessively could be denied surgery or drugs following a decision by a Government agency yesterday.
The National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence (Nice) which advises on the clinical and cost effectiveness of treatments for the NHS, said that in some cases the "self-inflicted" nature of an illness should be taken into account.
If you aren't scared by the idea of Hillary Clinton or Mike Bloomberg deeming you unworthy of medical care because of your bad habits, imagine how the "religious right" would treat AIDS patients if they gained power under such a regime.
Zero-Tolerance Watch
Zach Rubio got in trouble at school over something he said, the Washington Post reports from Kansas City, Kan.:
"It was, like, totally not in the classroom," the high school junior said, recalling the infraction. "We were in the, like, hall or whatever, on restroom break. This kid I know, he's like, 'Me prestas un dolar?' ['Will you lend me a dollar?'] Well, he asked in Spanish; it just seemed natural to answer that way. So I'm like, 'No problema.' "
But that conversation turned out to be a big problem for the staff at the Endeavor Alternative School, a small public high school in an ethnically mixed blue-collar neighborhood. A teacher who overheard the two boys sent Zach to the office, where Principal Jennifer Watts ordered him to call his father and leave the school.
Watts, whom students describe as a disciplinarian, said she can't discuss the case. But in a written "discipline referral" explaining her decision to suspend Zach for 1 1/2 days, she noted: "This is not the first time we have [asked] Zach and others to not speak Spanish at school."
But forget about the Spanish phrase; look at the way young Zach speaks English. He's all, "It was, like, totally . . . he's like . . . so I'm like." Principal Watts is like totally focusing on the wrong things, you know? We're like so sure!
Let's Hope They're Too Busy Singing
"Performing Monkeys Could Spread Primate Viruses to Humans"--headline, LiveScience.com, Dec. 8
A Lousy Job, but Someone's Gotta Do It
"Geneticists Work to Map Body Lice Genome"--headline, Associated Press, Dec. 8
This Ain't Brain Surgery
"Dummies 'Reduce Risk of Baby Death' "--headline, Daily Mail (London), Dec. 9
But She Died in 1997
"Microsoft CEO Mum on AOL"--headline, Reuters, Dec. 7
Maybe Pilot Fatigue?
"[Southwest CEO Gary Kelly] would not speculate on what could have caused the accident but said the plane's captain had been flying for about 10 years."--Associated Press, Dec. 8
If You Have to Plead for Sex, Chances Are You'll Be Rejected
"Teacher-Student Sex Plea Deal Rejected"--headline, CNN.com, Dec. 8
Food Fight!
"An actor playing the part of a mythical superhero by the name of Banana Boy was arrested Thursday along with two of his friends after police came upon what appeared to be a fight in a Main Street parking lot," reports the Post-Star of Glens Falls, N.Y.:
They came under police scrutiny because they were acting out a fight in which one of the actors, Luke Van Scoy, 17, of South Glens Falls, accosted a man wearing a large yellow banana custom [sic] with a knife.
Yes, the man in the banana costume is Banana Boy. When he's not a superhero, he's Chris Phelps, 20, of South Glens Falls. . . .
Washington County Sheriff's Deputy Shawn Lovelace was driving on Main Street shortly after 2 p.m. when he saw a group of people on Main Street pointing to the parking lot across from Eckerd pharmacy, where Banana Boy was doing his thing. . . . Not knowing the combat was fake, Lovelace drew his handgun and ordered all three to the ground. . . .
Mechanic Street resident Steven Wilson and friend Nicholas Monteleone were among the crowd watching the skit being filmed when Lovelace came upon it. They watched as the officer drew his gun and took them into custody.
"I said, 'Oh my God, don't shoot the banana,'" Wilson said. "It was the funniest thing I've ever seen."
The two youths were charged with disorderly conduct. If convicted, they may want to argue that the trial was a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham. It's a bold legal strategy, to be sure, but they'll likely find a sympathetic hearing in the New York State Court of a Peel's.
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Today on OpinionJournal:
And on the Taste page:
- Review & Outlook: Isn't Christmas supposed to be a time of peace?
- Tony & Tacky: A window full of rats; an ode to President Bush.
- Jason Riley: The culture wars find their way into the wardrobe.
- Dan Akst: Please, no more presents!
- John Wilson: A British theologian takes another stab at Reformation.
