You went online because there's a huge pool of guys to date, and hooking one is supposed to be easy. So how come you're only meeting losers, or worse, not getting any attention at all? It's not you, it's your profile. No, really. According to Internet dating experts, many women are guilty of making these five mistakes online. With a few tweaks and maybe a little white lie or two, your inbox will soon be stuffed with messages from guys dying to meet you.
Mistake #1: You Don't Self-Promote
You might be hesitant to really play up your assets because you worry it will make you seem cocky or self-involved. But leaving out interesting info, like how you're awesome at snowboarding or speak two languages, results in a lackluster first impression.
The snag-him secret: Enlist a close friend to help you create your profile. She'll feel more
comfortable highlighting your strengths and cool experiences. Another trick is to pretend it's a job you're trying to get, not a date, since women tend to find it easier to really sell themselves in a work setting.
Mistake #2: You Come Off as a Clone
Everyone knows you are "nice, smart, fun, and sweet," but there are thousands of other single girls online saying the same damn thing about themselves. Plus, guys have learned to dismiss those generic descriptions since they've been on dates with women who describe themselves the same way but are total duds in person. Same goes for your likes and hobbies. Um, who doesn't enjoy travel, movies, and friends?
The snag-him secret: The best profiles tell an original story. So instead of writing that you're
adventurous, make him really believe it by including a story about that time you took a spontaneous trip to the beach with girlfriends and swam with dolphins. Not only does this approach make you seem a hell of a lot more interesting, but it also gives guys an easy icebreaker. Also, specifics are key, so if you're going to add "music" to your likes, be sure to mention one or two of your favorite bands. Even if his tastes are different, you'll come off as passionate, which is a major turn-on.
Next: Three more hidden turnoffs that are keeping him away!
Mistake #3: You Go Negative
You might be tempted to write "Don't message me if you were born before 1970 or live with your parents" in an effort to weed out unsavory characters. But that can backfire because it makes guys think you have issues or are high-maintenance. Even ones who meet your criteria will hold back because they'll be wondering what you're going to hate about them.
The snag-him secret: Resist the temptation to write about the kind of guy you don't want. For every 10 losers who send you a message or a wink, there's might be one guy who deserves a chance. And unlike being sent a drink by a creepy stranger, to ignore unwanted advances online you just need to hit the delete button.
Mistake #4: You're Too Honest
Maybe your BFF signed you up for online dating to help you get over your ex. Save that little secret for your journal. Anything you wouldn't say on a first date doesn't belong in your profile. Oh, and no guy needs to know that you have two cats, spent two years as a Goth, and are OCD. You may think that in the
interest of full disclosure, you have to spill all your quirks and secrets, but save those tidbits for date #2, when you've already won him over.
The snag-him secret: Not only should you leave a few details out, but you might also want to
consider stretching the truth in some cases. We're not telling you to say you're a model who works for the Red Cross, but sometimes it pays to tell a white lie. Let's say you live in a suburb of Chicago but work and hang out in the city every day. "Borrow" your zip code from work so that you'll appear in the results of guys who have limited their searches to within 10 miles from downtown.
Mistake #5: You Pick the Wrong Photos
Guys look at the photo first. Period. And even if you have the perfect profile, the wrong mix of pictures will make any guy take a pass. Here's the deal: Only include shots from the neck up and he'll think you're hiding your body for a reason. Photos with other men are an automatic turnoff too. Hey, the guy checking out your profile doesn't know the dude in the picture is your brother. Another bad idea? Including a snapshot with a girlfriend who is hotter than you. Yeah, it's a little low to crop out your Megan Fox look-alike BFF, but all's fair in online dating.
The snag-him secret: Including a shot that shows off your body is an absolute must. And make
sure to include a few photos of you in your natural environment — hanging out at a BBQ or cuddling with your dog. Your pictures should tell a story — just like what you write – and show off your personality. A slideshow of headshots on a white background won't do that.
Sources: Dale Koppel, PhD, author of The Intelligent Woman's Guide to Online Dating;
Evan Marc Katz, author of Finding the One Online
