One of the most uncomfortable things about dating is having to let a potential suitor down easy, particularly because there's absolutely nothing easy about it. If you don't want to be responsible for someone diving head-first into a Ben & Jerry's container—and let's be real, who does!—we've got some tips on how to decline a date in the kindest way possible. Read on for how to face the moment graciously and walk away feeling guilt-free.
First Things First: Stay Honest
While politely declining an invitation can be complicated, making up a fake significant other or lying about your weekend plans is totally uncool and can make you look bad. Express that you're flattered, but not interested. And while we're talking about honesty, never say yes just because you feel guilty. You're in no way obligated to go on a date with anybody else! Being turned down right off the bat may be a tougher pill to swallow initially, but it's a better move than to waste both your time and lead someone (who you may very well care about, albeit in a platonic way) on.
Try a "Compliment Sandwich"
The best way to let down a friend or someone you already know is to couch your response between kind, truthful compliments. Let him or her know a specific reason why they're great, followed by a polite decline of the invitation and another point of positive feedback. By saying, "I have so much fun when I'm with you, but I don't see a romantic future for us. You're hilarious and so sweet, and I'd love to continue our friendship" instead of "Ew, no way, dude!", you can alleviate some of the awkwardness for everyone involved while also preserving the future of your friendship.
Don't Be a Big Mouth
No matter how tempted you are, restrain yourself from making fun of the situation to your friends. If you're asked out on Facebook chat or in an email, don't screenshot the exchange or forward the message to your classmates. Everyone's bound to be in this position at some point, and isn't it pretty brave (and flattering) that someone put themselves out there for you? It's important to respectfully say no without turning your would-be date into an inside joke, or worse, spreading it around school.
Communicate the Old-Fashioned Way
If someone asks you out through a text, pick up the phone and call them—or go a step further and let the other person know your answer in person. (Seriously!) It sounds crazy, but the small courtesy of opting to verbalize your response instead of sending a half-frown emoji is a gesture they'll appreciate. Not to mention, this will help do away with any, "But what will I do when I see them next?" dread on both ends.
Do It for the Right Reasons
Ask yourself why you're saying no. Are you open to spending time with this person, but something else—a friend's opinion, their social status, a rumor you've heard—is standing in your way? If that's the case, it's likely worth giving them a shot, so assess the real reason and proceed accordingly. If it's a more delicate situation and, say, one of your BFFs used to have a crush on this person, kindly explain that you'd love to go out, but you need to take care of something first. This way, you'll be able to clear the air before stepping out on your (guilt-free!) date.
