John Mayer is lots of things: a guitarist, a Visvim head, a current member of The Grateful Dead, and a noted Lothario (if we're talking 2005). But did you also know the man knows his way around a laundry room? Apparently, washing all of that delicate Visvim gear has taught John a thing or two about treating your threads with respect, so today he took to Snapchat to teach us all a valuable lesson in cleaning your white T-shirts—by hand. The video is detailed, funny, insanely earnest, and flat-out informative. But if you don't have time to watch the video over and over again (or don't want to lose it forever once it goes bye-bye in less than 24 hours), know that we shamelessly screen-capped John's Snap story for you to preserve his most valuable tips for eternity:
Why he does it: John starts his Snap story by saying he set out to only wear the same seven white T-shirts over the course of a year. He also reveals that his detergent of choice is—the very awesome and very fragrant Le Labo x Laundress Santal 33 detergent, which is $45 and currently sold out on The Laundress's site. (Don't worry, scents like Rose 31 are still available.) Ultimately, it means his tees will smell like a dope candle store, not a nuclear flower garden.
Pour a dash of fancy-smelling detergent into a sink filled with cold water.
Why he does it: John explains that he's washing his tees in the sink because they are sea island cotton, which is a super cozy but very delicate fabric. It also makes these tees, which we think come from the cotton gods at Sunspel, very expensive. (Like, $195-a-pop expensive.) That's right, all, John Mayer dropped $1,365 on some white tees because he loves him some textiles.
Massage the tees into the now-soapy water. Try and be as "meditative" as Mayer when you do it.
Why he does it: Because pit stains are gross. Though, Mayer believes white tees get pitted-out not because of sweat, which is only sort of true—the real damage is done because of chemicals in your antiperspirant. But he's right to know that there are products other than bleach than can save the day. Once again John turns to The Laundress (are they sponsoring this Snapchat story, by the way?) for their OxyClean-inspired stain remover.
Add bleach alternative to the wash in equal amount to the good-smelling stuff you did earlier. Let sit.
Why he does it: Even if you're in some sort of swanky bathroom with wall-to-wall marble and an oversize tub like John's, the fact remains that doing laundry is boring.
Make sure you drink top-shelf liquor to ease the process. (Apparently John Mayer is also sponsored by Jose Cuervo.)
Why he does it: To get the soap out of the tees.
Put them in the tub with cold water and slosh ’em around. Uh, that's it.
Why he does it: To get excess water out of the T-shirts before drying them.
The Mayer secret to wringing excess water out of your tee is to not get too aggressive with it. Our personal tip: Do so with the force of opening a mini water bottle, not a greased-up jar of pickles.
Why he does it: Because, seriously, letting T-shirts air dry takes freaking forever.
What to do: Lay out a flat towel on the ground and place the tees on them like so. (This should go without saying, but use a clean, dry towel, not the one you just used to dry your junk.)
Why he does it: See Tip #7.
What to do: Honestly, if you don't have a phone in your hand at the time, you should just use your hands to press down on the rolled-up towel, not your knees (even if it's really funny). If you want to see some pro technique on that front, check out our guide to washing a cashmere sweater here.
Why he does it: Because, as he explains, "You should only put things in the dryer that you intentionally want to shrink." (Note: This is probably true but probably not totally reasonable to anyone who lives a non-Tibetan robe life.)
What to do: Then all you need is a drying rack and you're good to go after a few hours. And though we think John's guide is the best we've ever seen from a rock star, we'd recommend getting a rack that lays flat on the ground, as wet T-shirts that hang like this for a long time are at risk of stretching out. Honestly, we thought Mayer would have a better understanding of gravity.