Let’s get one thing straight: having any sort of sex routine isn’t a bad thing. In fact, some relationship experts say scheduling sex can help maintain a healthy, long-term relationship. But it’s also nice to mix things up every once in awhile because, just like anything else in life, trying new things helps you explore uncharted territory to figure out what you like (and don’t). Play these fun, expert-endorsed sex games for couples, that will hopefully result in sensational discoveries and maybe even unlock some new sexual fantasies. So, light a romantic candle, cue up your sultriest playlist, and settle in.
1. Domination
What you need: Handcuffs or something to tie your wrists (bandana, silk scarf, tie, etc)
How to play: Tie your partner’s wrists to the headboard, pin them to the mattress, and go a little more wild than usual—you can even sprinkle in hints of gentle aggression. Don’t be afraid to talk rough, stating exactly what you’re going to do to your partner sexually. Switch roles if you prefer to be the submissive.
Why it’s fun: This is a form of role play that encourages your partner to speak freely without worrying about holding back, says Fran Walfish, Psy.D., a family and relationship psychotherapist in Beverly Hills. “When you step into another role or personality, it can make exploring different likes and dislikes more approachable,” she explains. “It’s also an exciting way to capitalize on one’s fantasy of being overtaken by their partner.”
2. Popsicle Lick
What you need: Thawed-out frozen strawberries (you can also use ice cream, whipped cream, or any other food you enjoy)
How to play: Get into a “69” position and slather thawed out frozen strawberries onto your partner’s genitals. Slowly lick up and down, savoring each flavor. As you get into it, suck with more fervor until you feel your partner about to climax, then slow down and repeat until you're both satisfied.
Why it’s fun: “This game is the antidote for those who were raised with direct or covert messages that oral sex is disgusting and unwanted, even though they secretly desired it,” Walfish says. “It’ll teach you both that there’s nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to pleasuring your partner, and serve as a reminder that you don’t have to jump straight into intercourse.”
3. Full-Course Meal
What you need: Various rooms in your house, food/drinks for each room
How to play: Prepare a five-part meal (drinks, appetizers, salad, main dish, and dessert) and place each course in a different room in your house. As you go to each room, you’re required to eat what’s prepared and take your erotic activity to the next level. Example: in the drinks room, start with cuddling and a light makeout as you sip your cocktail of choice. For appetizers, feel up your partner over their clothes as you feed each other, and maybe remove an item or two. Keep leveling up as far as you’re comfortable within each room.
Why it’s fun: Not only do you get to actually eat (yum!), but Wyatt Fisher, Psy.D., a marriage counselor in Boulder, Colorado says this is a great game that adds variety and fun to your sexual relationship while building up tension and anticipation.
4. Play Up Your Personality
What you need: This list of sexual personality types
How to play: Read over the 11 sexual personality types separately, and pick your absolute favorite based on what you think is the most important aspect of sex. (It’s OK if you identify with a bunch, but make sure there's a top choice.) Then, make two different sex dates. On the first, you’ll have the kind of sex that emphasizes your sexual personality, and on the second you'll cater to your partner. Example: If you’re The Explorer, you can try a bunch of different sex positions, or mix things up by only using your hands with each other—no mouths allowed.
Don’t want to wait for two separate dates? Hop to it and get intimate right then and there, spending 10 to 30 minutes on your favorite type before switching to your partner’s.
Why it’s fun: “Your sexual personality type is like your love language for sex,” says Vanessa Marin, a licensed sex therapist based in Los Angeles. And while a lot of us want to experience different things, most couples don’t ever talk about it—leading to a sack session that doesn’t feel particularly satisfying for one or both parties involved. “But once you understand your sexual personality and your partner’s, you can work together to make sure you have both kinds of sex, and can enjoy each other’s favorite versions that much more.”
5. Sexy Clue
What you need: Three piles of cards: one for characters, one for locations, and one for sex toys
How to play: This game is a riff off the classic game of Clue, so you first need to create your cards. Character cards should describe different roles—like a wicked witch, biker dude, or sexy teacher—while locations can be in the kitchen, playroom, or basement. Your sex toys can be as wild as you want, from your tongue to a lipstick vibrator or even a leather flogger.
Once you have your cards, place them into piles and shuffle the decks. Each partner picks a card from the piles, creating a scene and role to play. Once you have your role, dress up in character using a costume or things you have in the closet. Your partner must guess your location; as soon as they find you, you’ll use the sex toy to tease and touch your partner. After, it’s your turn to go find your partner in their location, where you’ll start the fun all over with a brand new toy.
Why it’s fun: “Some long-term couples become less passionate over time, so imbuing novelty, surprise, and humor can breathe fresh air and creativity into their sex lives,” says Sari Cooper, LCSW, CST, founder of Center for Love and Sex in New York City. Plus, creating the cards yourselves allows each of you to contribute your own erotic fantasies and curiosity into the relationship, and taking on a new role allows for a power exchange as one plays the leader and the other follows.
6. Aural Sex
What you need: Two erotic stories (each partner should choose one). This can be an explicit scene from a book you like, or something you found online
How to play: Have your erotic stories handy. If it’s on your phone, turn off notifications so you don’t get distracted. Read one story aloud or silently together. (Note: reading it aloud can enhance the experience.)
Explain why you chose the story—what you liked about it, how it affected you, what you’d like to try from it—and then ask for their reactions. If you’re both comfortable, act out the scene.
Why it’s fun: “Reading or discussing an erotic story aloud stimulates both the oral and auditory senses,” says Candice Smith, co-founder of the KinkKit. Think of it as a fun way to add extra spice to foreplay, without having to come up with what to say yourself.
7. Sweet Hiding Spot
What you need: Blindfold, small candies (like chocolate kisses), silk tie
How to play: In this game, there's the Hider and the Seeker. The Seeker starts kneeling on the bed, with a blindfold over their eyes and hands tied behind their back. The Hider strips down and lays on the bed next to the Seeker, placing a set number of candies in different spots on their body. When the Hider is ready, they let the Seeker know how many candies to search for. Using kisses only, the Seeker must then find each candy. The Hider may choose to give hints like “higher” or “lower,” but they can also choose to stay silent.
Why it’s fun: “Research shows that long-term couples who regularly kiss passionately report happier, more fulfilled sex lives,” Smith says. This game takes that notion to the next level, opening up the opportunity for full-body kissing (rather than just focusing on someone’s lips) and discovering new-to-you pleasure zones.
8. Sexpectations
What you need: Sexpectations Card Deck
How to play: Take turns drawing a card from the deck. Read the question aloud, then try to guess your partner’s response. The deck is complete with 52 conversation cards, covering everything from getting in the mood to romance outside the bedroom. You can go through a few at a time, one per week, or blast through the whole deck in one highly-aroused day.
Why it’s fun: Many couples use conversation cards as a way to enhance foreplay, while others use it to draw a mental map of their partner’s needs and preferences, say Adam and Karissa King , California-based marriage counselors. “It can be easy to let the bedroom activity take a backseat, but these cards can make you both excited about reigniting a passion."
9. Karezza
What you need: Yourselves
How to play: Have a contest to see who can prevent themselves from climaxing the longest. Whoever climaxes first has to complete a chore for the night (be it sexual or not), chosen by the winner.
Why it’s fun: “Karezza involves tantric, slow, ultra-affectionate sex that builds emotional closeness instead of moving partners toward orgasm,” says Laurel Steinberg, Ph.D., assistant professor of clinical sexology at the American Academy of Clinical Sexologists. Consider it another way to focus on your bond, rather than the final outcome.
10. Follow the Leader
What you need: Yourselves
How to play: Determine who is the Follower and who’s the Leader. The Leader traces their fingers and tongue all over the Follower in the exact way that they want to be touched. The Follower then has to remember the same movements and replicate them on the Leader. Switch roles as many times as you’d like.
Why it’s fun: Not only is it a fun memory game that builds sexual anticipation, but copying what someone does is the most sincere form of flattery, Steinberg says. Up the ante by creating a trail of whipped cream or chocolate sauce, and licking up fun patterns that your partner will have to remember when it’s their turn.
11. Let the Dice Decide
What you need: One bowl, 20 folded pieces of paper, dice, a pen
How to play: Each person writes down 10 things they want their partners to do (these can be naughty or not), folds the papers, and puts them into the bowls. Throw the dice. Whoever gets the higher number wins, and the loser must pick a paper from a bowl and perform whatever's written on the paper (if they want to, of course).
Why it’s fun: Sure, you could always just take turns drawing papers and performing what’s on them at random. But adding in the dice adds an extra spice element, encouraging partners to let go of their inhibitions, says Alex Miller, sexologist at Orchid Toys. And if you write down a chore that isn’t usually naughty (say, doing the dishes), you may be surprised at how quickly it can become sexy and fun.
12. Blind Poker
What you need: A deck of cards
How to play: No matter what poker game you decide to play (hold ‘em, five card stud), none of the players can look at their cards. You must bet without seeing them, and instead of betting money or chips, you choose a sex action. (Example: “I see your massage and raise you oral.) Once the betting is over, players show their cards—whoever loses performs all of the acts that were mentioned in the bet. Again, if they want to.
Why it’s fun: While you can always play a more “traditional” game like strip poker or truth or dare, this version combines both to create a more enticing sex game. “It’s a good way to increase adrenaline and sexual tension,” Miller says. “Plus, it’s an easy way for shy, or confrontation-averse, partners to talk about the things they really want to experience in bed.”
13. A Tryst With a Secret Admirer
What you need: A roster of interesting locations, a creative mind.
How to play: Take turns acting as each other’s secret admirer–leaving clues, tokens of affection, and sexy propositions strewn throughout your home, in the car, or tucked into pants and coat pockets. Example: Have anonymous flowers delivered to their office, pin a sexy riddle to their steering wheel, or drop a string of one-line clues that follow the path of their morning routine, leading them to the lobby of a swanky speak-easy or other mysterious, dimly-lit location. The recipient plays along in the “discovery” of their secret admirer’s identity.
Why it’s fun: You and your partner get to take turns feeding each other nibbles of mystery and suspense all day long, which is quite the aphrodisiac. Bonus? It gets you out of your analytical mind and encourages you to be inventive and playful. “I love it when sex is viewed through a lens of play,” says Marin. “From the time we are children, we enjoy make believe, as well as delighting in our bodies. This natural desire to play doesn’t end in adulthood, even as we grow in our sexuality. So, as long as it feels good to you, allowing yourself to play through your sexual desires is a healthy way to be creative, and keep things interesting."
14. Aladdin’s Lamp
What you need: Four sheets of paper, a genie lamp (or other enticing vessel), and an attitude of openness.
How to play: Each partner grabs several small pieces of paper and writes down one of their most riveting fantasies on each. Some fantasies might be of an uncomplicated variety—like a jolting romp on the washing machine, while others might be more elaborate and whimsical—like slipping into roles that transport the both of you to another place and time (say, the wounded soldier and his nurse). The papers are then folded and placed inside of the vessel. Each week, the couple takes turns drawing a fantasy to step into.
Why it’s fun: This game is a spirited way to vividly communicate the things you've dreamed of trying with your partner, but perhaps never felt brave enough to confess. It also keeps you in tune with your partner’s yearnings. “We need to nurture and prioritize getting to know our partners continually, because as humans we are always changing; our tastes, interests, even some aspects of our personality traits,” says Dr. Judy Ho, Triple Board-Certified Clinical and Forensic Neuropsychologist, author of Stop Self Sabotage, and Co-Host of The Doctors.
Besides, what better way to work toward sexual fulfillment than to be given a magic carpet ride leading straight to the manifestation of your most deep-seated fantasies–maybe ones you’ve carried with you for decades?
15. Sexy Scrabble
What you need: Scrabble.
How to play: Dressed in seductive attire (or none at all), set the mood with music, candles, and cocktails, grab the game and clear a comfortable space on the floor. The first rule is this: Players are only allowed to call upon words plucked from their most erotic vocabularies. Second, if you spell out a body part, your partner gets to lean into you and plant a lustful, wet kiss there (and vice versa).
Why it’s fun: Not only is it intellectually stimulating, but it allows the arousal–and physical interaction–to build gradually.
16. A Prisoner of Want
What you need: An alluring room with a lock on the door.
How to play: This one is all about pleasing your significant other—making him or her a prisoner of their own quirks and primitive desires. Lock your partner into a room (one you have previously agreed upon, of course), and inform them that they are your hostage for the day or evening. They aren’t to be set free until their pleasure zones have been titillated in excess, and gratification has reached maximum capacity.
Why it’s fun: Your partner will be blitzed into a state of euphoria from all of the focused adoration, affection and pleasure. You’ll get the enjoyment of watching them moan at your mercy.
17. You Had Me at Sexting
What you need: Our Moments Sexting: 100 Messages to Text
How to play: This deck of cards contains ideas to inspire thoughts or questions to text to your partner. You can start slowly with simple statements like, “I wonder what we would be doing if you were in bed with me right now…” gradually getting racier and escalating to an apex of hungering passion as the day or evening progresses.
Why it’s fun: Aside from being the epitome of 21st Century eroticism, Dr. Ho says this can go a long way toward bolstering connection and strengthening your bond. “You have to create the opportunities where sexual intimacy can occur and flourish naturalistically with your partner. Send them a sexy text or a racy photo. Tell them how excited you are to see them after work,” she says.
18. Feels Like the First Time
What you need: Yourselves
How to play: This game is simple and almost entirely psychological, and its intention is to resuscitate the excitement of brand-new infatuation. You and your partner pretend it’s your first sexual encounter. Their most private architecture—and yours—is new, unexplored territory to the other. You’re each discovering, for the first time, how the other smells, tastes, sounds and feels while pressed against your naked flesh.
Why it’s fun: Remember the early days of your love affair—when a mere brush of your lover’s hand sent a chill down your spine? No matter how long it's been, this may incite that feeling of ravishment that comes with a romance that's yet to be spoiled by the interferences and stressors of life, perhaps reawakening you to the facets of your partner you had forgotten were so beguiling, delicious and irresistible. Can’t you already feel your skin getting hot?
19. Look But You Can’t Touch
What you need: Yourselves, a timer
How to play: For 30 whole minutes, touching is dangerously forbidden. One partner examines every inch of the other’s naked body—exploring it at leisure and drifting their hands across its edges—without ever actually touching their flesh.
Why it’s fun: It’s the epitome of a tantalizing encounter. Each will revel in the excitement of exchanging energy and body heat, without so much as a stroke. And, when you finally do touch, it will likely be gratifying for both of you.
20. Royal Rendezvous
What you need: A robe, a crown (and, perhaps, a gold scepter)
How to play: One of you is royalty for the entire evening, and the other is the sexy, obliging attendant (aside from any activity that has been predetermined to be off-the-table, of course). Whether king or queen, he or she gives orders to the attendant, getting exactly what they request, in the manner that they request it. Marin says it’s ideal to get specific with this one, giving instructions like “stroke my back,” or “increase the pressure,” while allowing all of your magisterial whims to be catered to. The following evening, week or month, reverse the roles.
Why it’s fun: Marin believes this exercise is especially fantastic for the cultivation of a fulfilling sex life because it improves the way you and your partner divvy out and receive useful feedback. “You’re never going to get anything better from your partner unless you specifically ask for it,” she says.
21. Timed Encounter
What you need: A timer.
How to play: Grab your phone and set a timer for three minutes. Immediately let the foreplay begin, pulling away from each other the second the timer expires—no matter how ferociously the intensity may have been building. Next, change positions or rooms and resume where you left off—until both parties have had their way with the other.
Why it’s fun: Recent studies have shown that boredom in the bedroom leads to a loss of libido. Allowing yourself bursts of pleasure in such a mercurial setting is great for obliterating the monotony and allowing the suspense to feed each other’s attraction and desire.
22. Ice, Ice Baby
What you need: A wine or rocks glass filled with ice cubes.
How to play: Start with the lips and decolletage. Take turns exploring each other's bodies, gliding across the erogenous zones and shadowy crevices—from the nipples to the inner thighs—with ice. Move in sensual, teasing strokes. You could even pass the ice cube back and forth with your mouths.
Why it’s fun: The sensation of the sudden change in temperature may hurl your partner into a toe-curling, squirming state of euphoria—the pendulum swinging from discomforting surprise to pleasurable thrill.
23. Three Tiers of Pleasure
What you need: Nookii Couple’s Board Game
How to play: This sophisticated board game comes packaged with 90 cards, a pair of dice, a timer and a few other small props. Together, you move through three tiers of exploration and discovery of one another’s body and mind—starting with commands and prompts that provoke arousal, then progressing into heavier petting, and eventually arriving at total debauchery.
Why it’s fun: There is always an element of surprise—never knowing which card the other will draw. Plus, it eases you both into the act and allows a stretch of warming-up, which makes for a more organic, less pressured romp. This, in turn, further cultivates your chemistry and connection. “Fulfilling sex is ultimately not about how often or how much. It’s about meaningful, quality sex that connects you and strengthens your bond with one another,” says Dr. Ho.
24. Hot and Heavy Stones
What you need: Limestones, a slow cooker, a few hand towels, massage oil
How to play: Wrap each stone in a hand towel and place inside of the slow cooker, on a low setting, for 30 minutes to an hour. Once the stones are hot (be careful!), have your partner lie down, in the nude, onto their stomach. Begin massaging their flesh, from head-to-toe, with the oils. Place the stones along their spine and shoulders, and once cooled slightly, begin using them to massage and explore your partner’s body.
Why it’s fun: Studies have revealed that massaging your partner not only improves individual well-being, but may draw the two of you closer emotionally. Regardless, an oily, hot stone massage is indulgent and relaxing, and is an opportune way to enjoy a slow, thorough voyage of your lover’s curves and grooves.
25. Rip It Off
What you need: Inexpensive, see-through underwear, shorts or tank tops
How to play: Put on some touchable, body-hugging pieces of flimsy underwear or loungewear. Once you’ve established a sexy momentum, encourage your partner to rip them from your body—letting them decide if they prefer to use their hands... or teeth.
Why it’s fun: While this isn’t exactly the real-deal variety of bodice-ripping sex, it provides a similarly ravaging effect, fulfilling your most barbaric, primal instincts—except nothing expensive or of value will be destroyed.
26. Cat and Mouse
What you need: Yourself, an interesting room or space with lots of nooks and hollows
How to play: Have your partner chase you around your apartment, house or room—zigzagging across corners and into closets, popping under and out of the bed covers. The idea is for the "prey" to only let itself be conquered for a few tantalizing minutes at a time, and to continuously “slip” from the cat's grip, until the mouse is brought to its sexy knees.
Why it’s fun: Your partner is continuously kept in a state of high-drama unpredictably, never knowing when you'll vanish from their grip. You get the thrill of being pursued.
27. Mirroring
What you need: Yourselves
How to play: You and your partner undress and get in a seated position. One partner starts the game by kissing, touching, and exploring certain angles of the other’s body, and then the other begins to simultaneously kiss, touch, and explore their partner in the same places, each caress moving to an identical rhythm.
Why it’s fun: It’s a powerful, non-verbal way of communicating precisely how each other prefers to be touched. Also a steamy route to getting your bodies in sync.
28. Dares of Desire
What you need: Dare Duel
How to play: In this game, you and your partner take turns drawing cards and selecting words or phrases to devise a series of romantic dares to be acted out. Next, the two of you will wrestle over who will perform each dare.
Why it’s fun: You and your partner get to customize the combinations of words to create the atmosphere and energy you’re after—whether intimate and sensual or raunchy and wild. Each of you get to insert your most audacious desires into the dare prompts, making this game highly communicative, but also a test to one’s level of security and trust within the relationship. Dr. Ho says that both are essential to keeping the intimacy and spice alive. “When people stop sharing their deepest desires, they start isolating themselves from their partners, which then causes even more of a rift and divide that makes feeling safe and secure harder to achieve.”
29. Steamy and Slippery
What you need: A steam room, sauna or hot shower, body oil
How to play: Dip into a sauna or steam room if you have access to a private one, but if not, turn up the dial on your home shower and let the steam permeate the space. Saturate each other’s bodies in a delicious-smelling, slippery oil, step into the heat and let your inhibitions melt away. Leave your reservations in the dry, stale cold.
Why it’s fun: You’ll both feel cradled in your private cocoon of steam, while enjoying the sensation of your slick, sweaty bodies sliding animalistically against the other’s.
For more stories like this, sign up for our newsletter.
Samantha Lefave is an experienced writer and editor covering fitness, health, and travel. She regularly interviews pro athletes, elite trainers, and nutrition experts at the top of their field; her work has appeared in Runner's World, Bicycling, Outside, Men's Health and Women's Health, Cosmopolitan, Glamour, and more.
Lacey Johnson is a writer and editor whose has contributed to Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, Woman’s Day, POPSUGAR and others, and is the founder of The Wonder Report. She feels most at home in airports, and is a radical seeker of engrossing conversation. Also a coffee connoisseur.
