How To: Be Memorable
How To: Be Memorable
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Hit the ball back
This one isn't so much about being memorable as it is about just being a good conversationalist. A good conversation should flow back and forth, with each side adding something in turns. So, if you think of a conversation as a game of tennis, each player should be hitting the ball to the other. Don't keep bouncing the ball on your side of the net (talking about yourself too much). But, by the same token, hit the ball back. Give them something to keep the conversation going.If the other person makes a point, and you respond with “Totally,” they've got nothing new to build off of. So add something to the conversation each time you contribute. If you're at a loss for words, repeat back parts of what they said or ask them a question about what they've said. Another great tip is to tell the other person something you've noticed about them — it really shows you're involved and paying attention. Again, be sincere here; if nothing stood out, don't fake it.
Avoid the same boring topics
Tim, you seem like a nice guy, and I hate to threaten you, but so help me if I find out you've been opening conversations by asking people what they do for work. If you are, I will hunt you down and beat you with the same stick they used to smack the “What's your sign?” guys back in the day.Listen, if you want to be memorable, avoid boring topics like the plague. Think of some interesting things to ask people and one interesting thing that happened to you today. That's your ammunition for the conversation. Everything from there should be based on what they say, and follow along naturally with the flow of the conversation. Think about it: A person's job is one of the biggest parts of their life — it's going to come up eventually. In the meantime, ask different questions; you'll learn something about them nobody else at the party knows.
If you've read The Game by Neil Strauss, you read about a guy named Tynan (he appears in the book under the name Herbal). Tynan has some of the best advice on this I've ever heard. He says to make a rule: If you're ever telling a story and get distracted, don't go back and restart the story without somebody asking you to. Trust me, if they were enjoying the story they'll ask for the rest.
Let them discover your value
There are very few guarantees in life, so remember this one: Bragging about yourself makes you sound like a tool. It also makes you sound like you're insecure about yourself, and that's a brutal double whammy. If there's a common thread in all these tips, it's to pay more attention to the conversation, and less attention to how you're coming across to others. Spend more time keeping the conversation fun and flowing, and you'll be more fun to be around. At the same time, not everyone knows how to talk to others, so don't feel bad if the people you talk to aren't as smooth as you. And remember, if the other person is talking your ear off and bragging, chances are they're trying to look more interesting to you.- First Impression Communication