Growing up in your parents' house means being subject to their point of view 24/7. Now that you're a little older—whether that means coming into your own in high school or living away from home during college—you've been handed a clean slate of sorts. You're figuring out what you believe in, not what your family, teachers, or religious or community leaders have taught you to accept as truth. It's exciting and liberating, but as you may have already learned, it can cause rifts with loved ones who assumed you'd always stay on their same wavelength.
It's perfectly OK to have differing beliefs from your parents, and even beliefs that stand in stark contrast to those of your younger self. At the very least, it's a sign of growth, and it's completely normal to change your mind about things. Experience informs our belief systems, and high school and college are where you get a whole lot of it. It's a time when learning new ideas and defining personal values is almost required.
But that doesn't mean it's easy to jive with your family when inevitably tricky topics come up at the dinner table. At times, you may feel like there's no sense in arguing with them. Guess what: That's fine! Your parents, simply due to the amount of time they've spent on earth, may be so stuck in their beliefs that there's no sense in turning them on to your cause. But never forget that it's your choice to share with them, too. They don't need to know you feel differently than they do about touchy subjects if you're worried about repercussions, tangible or perceived.
If you do feel charged with impacting your parents' views about the issues that matter most to you, remember this: There's always something to learn from people with opposing perspective. Sure, they may not understand why you support a certain cause or share your newfound religious belief (or non-beliefs), but as you are entitled to your opinion, they're entitled to their own as well. It's productive to set a goal of acceptance instead of agreement. Attempting to change your parents' minds so wholeheartedly that they believe exactly what you do can be impossible. Reaching a point of mutual tolerance and understanding, though? Doable (and super healthy). As you wouldn't want them forcing their beliefs on you incessantly, it's most important that they understand your point of view, not that they necessarily share it.
And if your parents are staunchly against an issue that affects you personally, try to open their eyes with your actions. Take gay rights. Every generation has its era-defining battle, and this is ours. Just look at all the political action being taken, from the legalization of same-sex marriage in certain states to the repealing of the military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy. You may be able to affect your family's POV on the matter without saying a word. The way you interact with your friends (read: straight or gay, it's all the same) or even your significant other if you yourself are gay can positively influence people close to you who don't have much experience with this thing they oppose. You may want immediate and explicit validation, but give yourself (and them) some time. Grant your parents some wiggle room to realize where you're coming from on their own terms.
Yes, whether differences be political, religious, or otherwise, reaching a point of non-contention can be a lengthier process than you'd like. In the meantime, take comfort in knowing you were able to figure out (on your own!) how you feel about [insert big-deal thing here]. Your parents may be able to set your curfew or tell you if you can go on spring break with your friends, but your beliefs are all you. The older you get, the more you'll realize your own personal values aren't the same as the ones that were swirling around your head for the first dozen or so years of your life. And hey, that's progress, too.
