How to take a good photo for dating apps

Between (deep breath) Tinder, Bumble, OKCupid, Grindr, Match.com, Hinge, and a plethora of other apps we’ve never heard of, knowing how to take good a dating app photo has never been more important. The problem is, even though we’re a good decade into the app revolution, many people still thwart their own chances of finding love – of the lifetime or one-night-only variety – by posting terrible pics.

Common dating app picture mistakes include men who start off with their torso over their face; people who post pictures with friends who could all be them (as if potential dates are interested in some sort of human raffle); people don’t even use pictures of their faces at all. While, for some communities, privacy is vitally important, for the majority of people these choices are, unfortunately, made out of incompetence.

“But I only have pictures with mates,” I hear you cry. “I don’t like taking selfies! I don’t want to ask my friends to take a few pics of me down the pub!” Well, guess what, that sort of apathy isn’t going to get you anywhere. So, to guide you into curating the best profile possible, we asked some experts, including photographers who make their money taking good Tinder pictures for other people, a dating coach who has worked with thousands of men, a sex worker who makes his money selling good photos, and someone who once held the title of most swiped-right man on Tinder, about how to nail your dating app photos.

If in your first few photos you’re wearing sunglasses or a baseball cap, looking away from the camera, have a busy backdrop or are being photographed from a distance, then you’re essentially setting yourself up to fail. “The viewer needs to be able to tell exactly what you look like in the first five seconds, if not, then you aren’t going to be getting matches,” says Blaine Anderson, a dating men's dating coach who specialises in “dating marketing”.

While film or slightly blurry photos might make you seem like the arty type, Anderson recommends that you have “at least a few high-quality photos” so that potential dates can get a clearer look at you. If you’ve been snapped by a professional photographer - maybe at a wedding or a birthday - you might want to include these.

According to Anderson, The first photo should be a close-up, high quality photo, where ideally you’ll be looking at the camera. “If you're looking directly into the camera then it feels like you're looking at that person, and you feel much more familiar to them, which is more likely to get you matches,” she says.

The one truly universal response: do not hide in a crowd. You’re wasting a valuable photo.

“You won’t stand out, they’re usually rubbish quality and, more crucially, you’re making [potential dates] work to find you in the shot,” says Saskia Nelson, the head of creative at Hey Saturday. “Not only that, you’re now adding your friends into the mix. They may either be more attracted to one of your mates or they may decide they don’t like the look of them. Neither of those options is going to win you a date.”

Professional photographer Charlie Grosso also says that you should never include a photo with more than four people in it. “This isn’t a police line-up. A prospective date shouldn’t have to work so hard to figure out which one they are.”

Blaine says that along with images that make clear what you look like, it’s important to have “at least three” photos that showcase your hobbies and lifestyle. “If you like travelling, or playing tennis, include photos that show you doing those things,” she says. “Whatever you’re doing, you want to come across as fun and open and someone who would be pleasant to spend time with.”

Professional Tinder photographer Jordan Shields suggests choosing photos where you’re doing activities “that perhaps the other person could see themselves doing with you..”

Grosso agrees, but says to make sure you don’t fall into Tinder tropes. “The men want to be seen as fun, fit, well-travelled, established, etc. That translates into pictures of them on the ski slopes, Machu Picchu, fishing, at weddings in a giant group shot, out with friends drinking,” she explains. “It’s so generic that it doesn’t stand out. After all, who doesn’t like good food and travelling to exotic locations? None of these images offer an entry point for conversation.”

“A killer dating photo doesn’t just show people what you look like, it tells them what you’re made of,” adds Nelson. “If you’re smart, you can use your photos to tell people more about who you are rather than writing it in the bio. No one reads bios, you know that."

Keep shirtless pics to a minimum, says Grosso, if you feature any at all. “Don’t post too many selfies, otherwise you come across as narcissistic” adds Shields.

In terms of clothing and styling, Nelson recommends colour. If you don’t like wearing colour, she suggests finding a backdrop that provides an injection of it. Also, no sunglasses – eyes are the window into the soul, after all.

“Do wear new or clean clothes,” suggests Shields, and make sure your grooming is up to snuff too. “Neaten up your beard or facial hair, or go clean-shaven,” he says.

“Messy backgrounds are distracting and unattractive. You’ll lose people’s attention fast,” says Nelson. Instead, choose a colourful simple background or something that says something about you. “Its role is just to showcase you.” Grosso suggests opting for “a clean frame, no distractions and strange objects”.

“Photos need to look like what you currently look like,” says Blaine. “So if they're two or three years old, but you literally look the same, you have the same haircut – that's OK. But if they're even six months old, but you look dramatically different, you've gained or lost a lot of weight, or you have a beard now, and you didn't then – you need to get new photos.”

If you’re struggling to decide which photos are an accurate representation of how you look now, get a friend to give you their honest opinion. As Nelson says: “No one wants to feel deceived by their date before they’ve even sat down.”

“[You] shouldn’t be spending [time] making disclosures of, ‘This is not my girlfriend’,” says Grosso. “The same with infants: you don’t need to spend valuable space on your profile, or in your conversation, assuring people you’re not a parent”.

For Grosso, your pictures should say to a potential partner that you will not play into their deepest concerns about men. “For women, that’s safety,” she argues, saying that men need to create profiles that show they are trustworthy. “How do you create trust? Eye contacts and smiles.”

“You don’t have to be the hottest person on Tinder to attract attention,” says Nelson, “you just have to come across as quietly confident and happy in your skin. This is great as it levels the playing field and gives all guys a chance no matter what they look like.” Make sure your body language is open, that you look confident and most importantly don’t include photos where you don’t feel good about yourself at the moment they were taken. You want to send the message that you're happy with yourself.

Anderson makes a similar point: “Super serious, unsmiling black and white photos aren't good for dating apps,” she says. “Photos which are colourful, and you're smiling or laughing and looking into the camera, are going to work really well.

Depending on what app you’re using, you may already have signalled your intentions – for example, if you’re on Feeld, people already know you’re likely more open to new, explorative experiences. But you can also subtly hint at this with your photo. A topless pic here; tight trousers there; maybe even a sensual portrait. Don’t go overboard on the sex, but feel free to be a little more risqué than you might be on more traditional dating apps.

“Before I select a picture, I’d think, ‘What do I want? A top? A bottom?’,” says Wales-based OnlyFans creator Phil James. “This would give you a starting point.” James says if he wanted to signal his interest in finding a top, he’d use a photo that accentuates his bum to, “brandish [his] best assets”. While this example is more geared towards queer sex, the same rule can apply in straight dynamics: essentially, flaunt what you’ve got. If James wanted to share a nude, though, he’d make sure to do it in a private album or via consensual DM. It should go without saying that no one should be sharing nudes on their main profile or in messages without prior consent.

It’s worth being direct about what you’re looking for in your bio, too. “Keep it to the point,” he says. “I’ve seen people just say, ‘Bottom looking for now’, [which lets] people know what you want and when.” On apps like Feeld, you can even be matched based on your chosen sexual desires, which can help you find like-minded people.

“Be direct and as risky as you’re willing to go – well, within the boundaries of the app,” says James. “You want sex? Celebrate your kinky, fun side.”

There’s a lot of stigma associated with editing photos, largely because it promotes an unrealistic beauty standard, but also because, in the realm of dating, if it’s taken to the extreme, it can lead to accusations of catfishing. Still, there’s nothing wrong with a little polishing. Let’s say, for example, someone has snapped a near-perfect photo of you, but there’s a bin in the background or a giant blackhead on your forehead, don’t be afraid to make some digital tweakments.

“Editing photos is like make-up for your pics,” says Stefan-Pierre Tomlin, 2017's most swiped-right man on Tinder. “A little touch-up is fine, but don’t turn yourself into a Snapchat filter. Keep it real – we’re here to meet you, not your Photoshop doppelganger.”

Although it’s many people’s nightmare, video has arrived on dating apps – as have voice notes – and, admittedly, it can be a fun way to show off your personality. But, as it can be difficult to master, it’s not for everyone. There’s nothing worse than a stilted video that leans into cringe clichés. “Avoid that overly rehearsed, ‘Hi, I’m Bob, and I like long walks on the beach’ stuff,” says Tomlin. And remember to keep things light. As Tomlin says, “This isn’t a job interview.”