In the 1970s, a new breed of store began popping up across America. Woman-owned/woman-founded, fiercely feminist, and devoted to sexual pleasure, these sex toy boutiques offered a friendly, non-judgmental space for anyone looking to purchase a pleasure product. A marked improvement over seedy porn shops or covertly buying a “back massager” at a place like Macy’s, these stores revolutionized the sex toy shopping experience for women—and, in the process, radically changed America’s relationship to erotic products. (For more on this fascinating history, check out Lynn Comella’s book Vibrator Nation.)
A few decades later, sex toys have gone from being a covert, even shameful purchase, to a staple of American bedrooms—and retailers have responded in kind. In addition to the plethora of specialty sex toy boutiques that populate hip, urban shopping centers, such as Babeland and Good Vibrations, it’s now possible to purchase sex toys from major online retailers like Amazon. Or, if you prefer shopping offline, you can even pick up an affordably priced personal massager at your local Walmart.
With so many options for sex toy shopping, it can be difficult to know where to buy your next toy. Mainstream retailers are more accessible for those who live outside metropolitan areas where many sex toy shops exist, and they offer competitive prices. But does wide accessibility mean they’re cutting corners on quality? And while feminist boutiques offer a curated shopping experience, it can be frustrating to feel like you’re paying a premium for the same item you could have scooped up on Amazon.
The truth is, there are pros and cons to both shopping experiences, and the right one for you is going depend on your individual needs. Here are a few scenarios where one set-up might be a better fit than the other.
You’re totally new to sex toys and don’t know where to turn.
One of the biggest benefits to buying your toys from a specialty boutique is the trained and educated workforce. “Babeland’s customer service is staffed by sex educators,” says Lisa Finn, Babeland’s brand manager and a sex educator herself. Rather than just parroting a brand’s talking points, or reading technical stats from a manual, a specialty boutique’s staff “can actually help you find the product that’s right for you,” she says. The staff will use their intimate knowledge of both their product line and the human body to best assess your needs.
It’s totally fine if you don’t know the difference between clitoral and G-spot stimulation—let alone why body-safe materials are so important, or what kind of lube you should be using with a silicone toy. The dedicated staff at a store like Babeland are willing and ready to guide you through their inventory, and help you figure out which product is going to really meet your needs.
You’ve got a limited budget—and even more limited time.
Most people don’t live down the block from a Babeland, and if you’ve got a hectic schedule, making a special trip just to purchase a sex toy can seem like a pretty major indulgence. In contrast, popping some vibes into your cart while you’re shopping for groceries at Walmart is a quick and easy way to slip a sexy little break into your jam-packed schedule. In fact, since it’s folded into an errand that you’re already running, it can feel more private than making a special occasion trip to a sex shop.
Big box stores typically offer a pretty appealing price point, too. “Since major retailers purchase goods in bulk, both the store and the manufacturer can offer quality toys at lower price points than boutique sex stores,” says Jamie Leventhal, president and CEO of Clio Corporate, the company behind Walmart’s in-house sex toy line, plusOne. And those competitive prices potentially mean more opportunities to explore different sorts of stimulation. “Someone could buy our entire range of sex toys for less than $90 at Walmart, while some vibrators in boutique shops start at $90, and if the toy isn’t the right fit for you, it’s money down the drain,” Leventhal points out.
You’re worried about getting duped.
Most shoppers know that third-party retailers aren’t always totally trustworthy. “On Amazon, sometimes you’ll buy a phone charger, and it’ll say ‘certified,’" says Finn. "And then you go to plug it in your phone and your phone says, ‘This accessory is not supported.' There’s no guarantee that [a vibrator you buy from Amazon] is going to be the real thing. It could be a dupe.” And once you discover you’ve been tricked, you’ll have to navigate that seller’s return policy—which may not be as generous as Amazon’s. Not sure if you can tell the genuine article from a cheapo knock-off? Make your way to a specialty boutique, where everything comes with the store’s guarantee.
You’re a savvy shopper who knows exactly what you want.
You’ve tried a bunch of products, you know the brands you like, and now you just want to get a good deal. You may find that a big box store stocks the exact same product—say, the lubricant Astroglide—that you’ve been buying from a specialty boutique, but at a much, much lower price. At the end of the day, Astroglide is Astroglide is Astroglide—and the markup associated with buying it at small shop can start to add up if you’re going through bottle after bottle at a rapid pace.
You want to support a small, woman-founded business that’s working to improve American sex lives.
We vote with our dollars. “When you shop somewhere like Babeland, you are supporting part of a movement,” Finn says, explaining that small boutiques are often doing a lot of work behind-the-scenes to improve the quality of sex toys and the quality of American sex education. “You can buy a brand name pair of sneakers from Target or you can buy it from an independent shoe shop,” she says “It’s just a matter of who you’re looking to support.”
There is no right or wrong decision when it comes to figuring out where to buy your next sex toy, just as there’s no right or wrong decision when it comes to deciding which sex toy is the best one for you. Wherever you shop, always buy yourself a sex toy that you’re happy with in an environment that makes you feel comfortable.
