Maintaining nonvoluntary relationships with disliked partners: an investigation into the use of distancing behaviors
A Hess,
A Hess
University of Missouri, 115 Switzler Hall, Columbia, MO 65211, USA
Search for more papers by this author
A Hess,
A Hess
University of Missouri, 115 Switzler Hall, Columbia, MO 65211, USA
Search for more papers by this authorAbstract
Theory in interpersonal communication usually assumes that people maintain their relationships voluntarily and that they like their relational partners. Neither assumption is necessarily correct. This research examines nonvoluntary relationship with disliked partners (NR/Ds). Heider's balance theory predicts that when people dislike their relational partners they will feel discomfort. It was hypothesized that people would try to attenuate this discomfort by increasing psychological distance between themselves and their disliked partners. Participants (n = 185 in Study 1, n = 158 in Study 2) responded to questionnaires about their maintenance of voluntary and nonvoluntary relationships with liked and disliked partners. The results showed that people use distance to attenuate the discomfort created by an NR/D. Thirty-six distancing behaviors were found through content analysis. Using hierarchical cluster analysis, these behaviors were grouped into clusters that suggested 3 basic profiles of regulating distance in NR/Ds - expressing detachment, avoiding involvement, and showing antagonism.
REFERENCES
- Amelang, M., & Pielke, M. (1992). Effects of erotica upon men's and women's loving and liking responses for their partners. Psychological Reports, 71, 1235–1245.
- Andersen, J. F. (1979). Teacher immediacy as a predictor of teaching effectiveness. In D. Nimmo (Ed.), Communication Yearbook (Vol. 3, pp. 543–559). New Brunswick , NJ : Transaction.
10.1080/23808985.1979.11923782 Google Scholar
- Anderson, S. A., & Sabatelli, R. M. (1992). The differentiation in the family system scale (DIFS). American Journal of Family Therapy, 20, 77–89.
- Arnett, R. C. (1992, November). “ Walls with bridges”: The interpersonal ethics of Dietrich Bonhoeffer. Unpublished paper presented at the annual convention of the Speech Communication Association, Chicago , IL .
- Ayres, J. (1983). Strategies to maintain relationships: Their identification and perceived usage. Communication Quarterly, 31, 62–67.
- Bakeman, R., & Gottman, J. M. (1986). Observing interaction: An introduction to sequential analysis. Cambridge , UK : Cambridge University Press.
- Bartle, S. E., & Rosen, K. (1994). Individuation and relationship violence. American Journal of Family Therapy, 22, 222–236.
- Baxter, L. A., & Montgomery, B. M. (1996). Relating: Dialogues and dialectics. New York : Guilford.
- Bell, R. A., & Daly, J. A. (1984). The affinity-seeking function of communication. Communication Monographs, 51, 91–115.
- Bell, R. A., Daly, J. A., & Gonzalez, C. (1987). Affinity-maintenance in marriage and its relationship to women's marital satisfaction. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 49, 445–454.
- Bethlehem, D. W. (1977). Validity of social distance scales: A Zambian study. Journal of Social Psychology, 101, 157–158.
- Bochner, A. P. (1982). On the efficacy of openness in close relationships. In M. Burgoon (Ed.), Communication Yearbook (Vol. 5, pp. 109–124). New Brunswick , NJ : Transaction.
- Bogardus, E. S. (1925a). Measuring social distances. Journal of Applied Sociology, 9, 299–308.
- Bogardus, E. S. (1925b). Social distance and its origins. Journal of Applied Sociology, 9, 216–226.
- Bormann, E. G. (1990). Small group communication: Theory and practice. New York : Harper & Row.
- Buber, M. (1957). Distance and relation. Psychiatry, 20, 97–104.
- Burgoon, J. K., & Hale, J. L. (1984). The fundamental topoi of relational communication. Communication Monographs, 51, 193–214.
- Burgoon, J. K., & Hale, J. L. (1987). Validation and measurement of the fundamental themes of relational communication. Communication Monographs, 54, 19–41.
- Byng-Hall, J. (1980). Symptom bearer as marital distance regulator: Clinical implications. Family Process, 19, 355–365.
- Byrne, D., & Murnen, S. K. (1988). Maintaining loving relationships. In R. J. Sternberg & M. L. Barnes (Eds.), The psychology of love (pp. 293–310). New Haven , CT : Yale University Press.
- Canary, D. J., & Stafford, L. (1992). Relational maintenance strategies and equity in marriage. Communication Monographs, 59, 239–267.
- Canary, D. J., & Stafford, L. (1994). Maintaining relationships through strategic and routine interaction. In D. J. Canary & L. Stafford (Eds.), Communication and relational maintenance (pp. 3–22). New York : Academic Press.
- Carroll, M. P. (1977). A test of Newcomb's modification of balance theory. Journal of Social Psychology, 101, 155–156.
- Christensen, L. J., & Menzel, K. E. (1998). The linear relationship between student reports of teacher immediacy behaviors and perceptions of state motivation, and of cognitive, affective, and behavioral learning. Communication Education, 47, 82–90.
- Clark, R. A. (1979). The impact of self interest and desire for liking on the selection of communication strategies. Communication Monographs, 46, 257–273.
- Dermer, M., & Pysczinski, T. A. (1978). Effects of erotica upon men's loving and liking responses for women they love. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 36, 1302–1309.
- Dickens, W. J., & Perlman, D. (1981). Friendship over the life-cycle. In S. Duck & R. Gilmour (Eds.), Personal relationships: Vol. 2. Developing personal relationships (pp. 91–122). New York : Academic Press.
- Duck, S. (1994). Steady as (s)he goes: Relational maintenance as a shared meaning system. In D. J. Canary & L. Stafford (Eds.), Communication and relational maintenance (pp. 45–60). New York : Academic Press.
- Fromm, E. (1956). The art of loving. New York : Harper & Row.
- Gale, A., & Barker, M. (1987). The repertory grid approach to analyzing family members' perception of self and others: A pilot study. Journal of Family Therapy, 9, 355–366.
- Galvin, K. M., & Cooper, P. J. (1990, June). Development of involuntary relationships: The stepparent-stepchild relationship. Unpublished paper presented at the annual convention of the International Communication Association, Dublin , Ireland .
- Gerber, G. L. (1973). Psychological distance in family as schematized by families of normal, disturbed, and learning-problem children. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 40, 139–147.
- Glaser, B. G., & Strauss, A. L. (1967). The discovery of grounded theory: Strategies for qualitative research. Chicago : Aldine.
- Goffman, E. (1961). Encounters: Two studies in the sociology of interaction. Indianapolis , IN : Bobbs-Merrill.
- Goffman, E. (1963). Behavior in public places: Notes on the social organization of gatherings. New York : Free Press.
- Goffman, E. (1967). Interaction ritual: Essays on face-to-face behavior. Garden City , NY : Anchor.
- Gorham, J. (1988). The relationship between verbal teacher immediacy behaviors and student learning. Communication Education, 37, 40–53.
- Gudykunst, W. B., Ting-Toomey, S., Sudweeks, S., & Stewart, L. P. (1995). Building bridges: Interpersonal skills for a changing world. Boston : Houghton-Mifflin.
- Hatfield, E., & Sprecher, S. (1986). Measuring passionate love in intimate relationships. Journal of Adolescence, 9, 383–410.
- Heider, F. (1946). Attitudes and cognitive organization. Journal of Psychology, 21, 107–112.
- Heider, F. (1958). The psychology of interpersonal relations. New York : Wiley & Sons.
10.1037/10628-000 Google Scholar
- Helgeson, V. S., Shaver, P., & Dyer, M. (1987). Prototypes of intimacy and distance in same-sex and opposite-sex relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 4, 195–233.
- Holsti, O. R. (1969). Content analysis for the social sciences and humanities. Reading , MA : Addison- Wesley.
- Insko, C. A., Worchel, S., Folger, R., & Kutkus, A. (1975). A balance theory interpretation of dissonance. Psychological Review, 82, 169–183.
- Johnson, C. S. (1943). Patterns of Negro segregation. New York : Harper.
- Jones, E. E., & Pittman, T. S. (1982). Toward a general theory of strategic self-presentation. In J. Suls (Ed.), Psychological perspectives on the self ( Vol. I, pp. 231–262). Hillsdale , NJ : Lawrence Erlbaum.
- Kantor, D., & Lehr, W. (1975). Inside the family. San Francisco : Jossey-Bass.
- Keller, P. W., & Brown, C. T. (1968). An interpersonal ethic for communication. Journal of Communication, 18(1), 73–81.
- Kreilkamp, T. (1981). Psychological distance. In J. Rivera (Ed.), Conceptual encounter: A method for the exploration of human experience (pp. 273–342). Washington , DC : University Press of America.
- Krippendorff, K. (1980). Content analysis: An introduction to its methodology. Beverly Hills , CA : Sage.
- Madanes, C. (1978). Predicting behavior in an addict's family: A communicational approach. In L. Wurmser, The hidden dimension: Psychodynamics of compulsive drug use (pp. 368–381). Northvale , NJ : Jason Aronson.
- Mehrabian, A. (1972). Nonverbal communication. Chicago : Aldine.
- Mehrabian, A. (1981). Silent messages: Implicit communication of emotions and attitudes. Belmont , CA : Wadsworth.
- Nelson, B. J., & Frantz, T. T. (1996). Family interactions of suicide survivors and survivors of non-suicidal death. Omega: Journal of Death and Dying, 33, 131–146.
- Newcomb, T. M. (1968). Interpersonal balance. In R. P. Abelson, E. Aronson, W. J. McGuire, T. M. Newcomb, M. J. Rosenberg, & P. H. Tannenbaum (Eds.), Theories of cognitive consistency: A sourcebook (pp. 28–51). Chicago : Rand McNally.
- Opp, K. (1984). Balance theory: Progress and stagnation of a social psychological theory. Philosophy of the Social Sciences, 14, 27–49.
- Park, R. E. (1924). The concept of social distance as applied to the study of racial attitudes and racial relations. Journal of Applied Sociology, 8, 339–344.
- Parks, M. R. (1982). Ideology in interpersonal communication: Off the couch and into the real world. In M. Burgoon (Ed.), Communication Yearbook (Vol. 5, pp. 79–107). New Brunswick , NJ :Transaction.
- Rasmussen, E. M., & Willett, P. (1988). Cluster analysis using parallel computer architecture. Sheffield , UK : University of Sheffield Press.
- Rawlins, W. K. (1992). Friendship matters: Communication, dialectics, and the life course. New York : Aldine de Gruyter.
- Rubin, Z. (1970). Measurement of romantic love. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 16, 265–273.
- Rubin, Z. (1973). Liking and loving: An invitation to social psychology. New York : Holt, Rinehart, & Winston.
- Rusbult, C. E. (1987). Responses to dissatisfaction in close relationships: The “exit-voice-loyalty-neglect” model. In D. Perlman & S. Duck (Eds.), Intimate relationships: Development, dynamics, and deterioration (pp. 209–237). Newbury Park , CA : Sage.
- Shaver, P., Schwartz, J., Kirson, D., & O'Connor, C. (1987). Emotion knowledge: Further exploration of a prototype approach. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52, 1061–1086.
- Singh, N. N. (1977). Social distance between Fijians and Indians in Fiji after four years of independence. Journal of Social Psychology, 101, 147–148.
- Snyder, M. (1974). The self-monitoring of expressive behavior. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 30, 526–537.
- J. R. Stewart (Ed.). (1999). Bridges not walls ( 7th ed.). Boston : McGraw-Hill.
- Strauss, A. L. (1987). Qualitative analysis for social scientists. Cambridge , UK : Cambridge University Press.
10.1017/CBO9780511557842 Google Scholar
- Taylor, H. F. (1970). Balance in small groups. New York : Van Nostrand Reinhold.
- Thibaut, J. W., & Kelley, H. H. (19591986). The social psychology of groups. New Brunswick , NJ : Transaction Books. (Original work published 1959).
10.1057/palgrave.jibs.8400327 Google Scholar
- Vangelisti, A. L., & Crumley, L. P. (1998). Reactions to messages that hurt: The influence of relational contexts. Communication Monographs, 65, 173–196.
- Weinstein, L. (1965). Social schemata of emotionally disturbed boys. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 70, 457–461.
