How can one really recognize the signs a relationship is getting serious? Is it when you’re no longer embarrassed to be seen in the same sweats three days in a row? When the virtual dates don’t feel awkward? When you’ve officially binged your way through every season of Grey’s Anatomy and still want to hang out? At some point, you’re going to ask yourself whether this is the real deal.
With today’s hookup culture, ability to find a new date with the swipe of a finger, and “grass is greener” mentality, you may not always know the signs of a relationship moving forward—but that’s where we come in. For me, it was when my now husband invited me to an out-of-town concert that turned into a weekend getaway just a couple of weeks into dating. I have never looked back.
Below, 15 women share their real-life romantic tales of how they knew that they were no longer casually dating but actually in a relationship that was getting serious.
When being together feels like coming home
“As a 61-year-old woman, I have had the opportunity to be in several serious relationships. Although each partnership had a different flavor and lasted varying lengths of time, what they had in common was that the seeds that were planted in the initial few weeks to few months blossomed magnificently. One of the signals that indicated things were going deeper was just a feeling of a sense of home with him and that I was able to be the best version of myself in this relationship.” —Edie, 61
When you feel comfortable enough to get vulnerable
“When you start opening up about your fears, demons, dark secrets, and the like, it shows that you're comfortable being vulnerable with this person and that you truly trust them to accept you as you are. When we were dating, I told my now husband some things that I'd never uttered out loud before, and it was the biggest relief—not only to get it off my chest but to know that he'd keep my secrets without judging me for them. That's when I knew things were getting serious.” —Chelsea, 36
When you get a pet (or pets!) together
“I knew my relationship was serious for a while, but I knew we were definitely going to get married when, less than a week after moving in together in our first apartment, she suggested we go to the local animal shelter. We went home with adoption paperwork for two bonded cats, and the shelter manager who mistook us for roommates asked what would happen when we no longer lived together someday. ‘We're in a relationship,’ my now wife told her. We both take the care of animals very seriously, so I knew that not only was she in this relationship with me forever but she was also in this with our two cats forever. We both agree that even though it was a very spontaneous decision, it was one of the best we ever made.” —Alaina, 27
When they want to meet your family
“They want to meet my parents/family and they are the one to initiate that conversation—not me.” —Ana, 28
When you just know you’re spending the weekend together
“When we got to the point that we were discussing what we were going to do over the weekend, rather than if we were getting together. It was assumed.” —Marcia, 54
When you start wanting to stay in
“Even though we hadn't met face-to-face yet, I was turning down opportunities to go out with my friends that I used to go out with all the time in order to spend more time chatting with him online. It was when I realized I was doing this consistently that I said we had to meet or cut off contact. We've been married for almost 12 years now.” —Jessica, 35
When they start talking about love
“With the way he looked at me, I could tell he was in love before he said it. He also kept coming close to saying he loved me without saying it—so, alluding to it. Also, when he introduced me to his friends, I knew he wouldn't do that unless he wanted me to stick around.” —Taylor, 24
When even your doorman knows
“Telling my doorman that I gave my partner a key felt like such a huge, very New York relationship moment.” —Tawny, 34
When you start leaving things at each other’s houses
“We wanted to spend more time together; you leave items at each other's places during the week—toothbrush, shampoo and conditioner, etc.—you go grocery shopping together, and you buy concert tickets for months ahead.” —Amanda, 46
When you plan your weekend around time together
“Before we started dating, we often did our Sunday shopping together. As things became more serious, this became a standing date, turned into grocery shopping and lunch, then eventually turned into grocery shopping, lunch, and the afternoon together.” —Ashley, 27
When you actually meet the parents
“Meeting the parents! It’s proof that he wants you to know about his personal life, and that he’s not hiding you from the people he most likely values the most.” —Zoe, 22
When conversations begin with “we”
“He talks about the future in ‘we’ instead of ‘I.’” —Taylor, 34
When you spend every night together
“Spending every night together. Trading off who pays for dates to keep it balanced. Getting a pet together.” —Jenny, 34
When you embrace their family as your own
“You start to feel and act like your partner's family is yours as well. You take the time and energy to attend family events, whether it's a Sunday dinner, a funeral, or a holiday party. If your partner doesn't have family nearby, maybe you're making more efforts with their circle of friends.” —Jenna, 32
When you realize you care about their well-being
“When you start to tear up when you realize just how much you care about them and their well-being.” —Amanda, 32
