Ted Nugent's Greatest Hits

Many people have a crazy passionate conservative older relative who sends semi-coherent emails ranting about the traitorous crimes of President Obama and his minions. For those who don’t and feel like they’re missing out, there’s Ted Nugent. In 2012, Uncle Ted is more famous for offensive insults than anything he accomplished musically. Tomorrow, according to Glenn Beck’s website, The Blaze, he’ll meet with the U.S. Secret Service after he hurled a veiled threat at President Obama during a recent NRA convention in St. Louis. “If Barack Obama becomes the president in November again, I will be either be dead or in jail by this time next year,” he said. Watch it below:

Nugent hasn’t apologized or softened his remarks since drawing scrutiny and widespread condemnation. That’s just not the way the Nuge operates. In fact, his comments reflect a worldview he’s frequently expressed, not just on stage but in print. “Barack Hussein Obama did not sneak into power,” he wrote in a column for The Washington Times in 2010. “An army of clueless, disconnected, ignorant Americans invited him to bring his Marxist, glaringly anti-American jihad into our lives.”

See, Uncle Ted loves to provoke. I have no doubt he believes every word he spews, but he’s also always fishing hunting for a headline. He craves the uproar, the media’s outrage, and the more radical he can present himself, the more satisfied he seems to be. Over the years, he’s said some doozies. Some flirt with humor, but most are cat-scratch crazy. Here’s a sampling of the most outrageous, most belligerent, most ridiculous quotes credited to Nuge:

10. “I am Rosa Parks with a Gibson guitar.”

9. “My being there (South Africa) isn’t going to affect any political structure. Besides, apartheid isn’t that cut-and-dry. All men are not created equal.” — Detroit Free Press Magazine, July 15, 1990

8. “The war is coming to the streets of America and if you are not keeping and bearing and practicing with your arms then you will be helpless and you will be the victim of evil.”

7. “I have busted more hippies’ noses than all the narcs in the free world.”

6. “Mr. Janet Reno? I think Mr. Janet Reno… I think he’s one of the best hunting dogs in the world.” — to National Review in 2002.

5. “(Palin’s) on her way to being a good leader. She’s coming from the street, she’s coming from the we-the-people rank-and-file. She makes sense when she talks, she says all the right things, she’s sincere, she’s knowledgeable , she’s articulate, she’s damn good-looking, plus she kills moose. How can you go wrong?” — on Anderson Cooper in 2011

4. “What is this, Planet of the Apes or CNN?,” on Eliot Spitzer asking Alec Baldwin if he had political ambitions

3. “I don’t think they’re capable of either of those thoughts, you Limey a–hole. They’re only interested in three things: the best place to eat, having sex, and how quickly they can run away. Much like the French.” — To a British journalist who asked him if he thought hunted deer see him as friend or foe.

2. “And in my mind, I’m going why can’t I just shoot this [Hate Krishna] guy in the spine right now; shoot him in the spine, explain the facts of life to him. — WRIF-FM, Detroit, Ted Nugent as guest D.J., Sept. 28, 1990

1. “Obama, he’s a piece of sh-t, and I told him to suck on my machine gun … Hey Hillary, you might want to ride one of these into the sunset, you worthless b—t … Any questions? Freeeeeeeeeeeedom!!!!!” — on stage in 2007

Freedom… It is just another word for nothin’ left to lose. That makes Nugent feel right at home.

Ted Nugent on Eliot Spitzer’s Alec Baldwin interview: ‘What is this, ‘Planet of the Apes’ or CNN?’

Ted Nugent continues attack on Obama: ‘Anybody that wants to disarm me can drop dread’