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Season 1 Due South

Pilot

Dooooooooo Mah 
[out on the ice, looking for clues] 
Robert: You're going to shoot a Mountie? They'll hunt you to the ends of the Earth. 
[BANG] 
[2,000 miles to the Northwest] 
[scenes of a dog sled going very fast, but you never see his face] 
RCMP Officer #1: You tell him the snow mobiles are frozen dead. He says, 'I'll take a dog sled.' 
RCMP Officer #2: [laugh] A dog sled?!?! Is this guy living in this century? 
RCMP Officer #3: I heard he was going over the pass. 
RCMP Officer #2: Don't be ridiculous. Nobody makes it over the pass. 
RCMP Officer #4: Fraser went over the pass. 
RCMP Officer #5: Boy, you've got to be kidding. 
RCMP Officer #2: 50 below out there, I froze coming in from my car. 
RCMP Officer #3: The guy is certifiable. 
RCMP Officer #2: Who'd he go after anyway? 
RCMP Officer #1: You wouldn't believe it. 
RCMP Officer #2: Who? 
RCMP Officer #2: Somebody's got to tell the Chief. 
RCMP Officer #3: That's the Sergeant's job. 
RCMP Officer #2: Then tell the Sergeant. 
RCMP Sergeant: Wh-when I lift this, you-you jam your hand down there fast. Ready? 
RCMP Officer #2: Sergeant? 
RCMP Sergeant: Yeah? 
[Fraser brings in his man and dumps him in a cell] 
Fraser: That's the last time he'll fish over the limit. 
[Chief's office] 
Chief: And you felt it necessary to go out there and get him now? In the middle of one of the worst storms we've had this year? 
Fraser: Yes, sir. 
Chief: Fraser, you just tracked a man 300 kilometers because he caught to many fish? 
Fraser: He exceeded the limit by quite a bit, sir. 
Chief: How much could a man fish over the limit that would justify you recklessly endangering your life and the reputation of this police force. 
Fraser: Four and a half tons, sir. 
Chief: Fish? 
Fraser: Yes, sir. He was dynamiting the rivers, scooping the salmon from the surface with a back hoe. So I destroyed the plastic explosives, the nitroglycerin, fragmentary mines. I then donated the three and a half truckloads of fish to the local Inuit village. The tribal elder said he would call you with his thanks as soon as the local phone lines were restored. 
RCMP Officer #2: Sir, there's a tribal elder on the phone for you and this just came in over the wire. 
Chief: It's your father. 
Pilot: Time was, you could look out that window and see nothing but geese, thousands of them. That river down there? Beaver's used to cover it like hairy little ants. Government kinda put them out of business. 
Fraser: Yeah. Everything's changing. 
*** 
Gerard: Still don't know what the hell he was doing there. Ten below zero, middle of nowhere. 
Fraser: His log book. 
Gerard: Closed his last case over a week ago. Should have been catching up on paperwork but you know your dad. He'd rather freeze his rump off then have a desk. Thirty ought six standard hunting rifle. This first week of the season. Suddenly every damned idiot wants to kill something. Near as we can tell, he must have caught a stray bullet. Useless death. Son, every officer in this post spent the last three days combing that gulch. If there was evidence of foul play we would've found it. When was the last time you talked to him? 
Fraser: Christmas. 
Gerard: Well, I guess the more you know someone the less needs to be said. 
[same area where his father was killed] 
Dief: Woof Woof 
Eric: This is mine. You want meat, Mountie? Go to Supermarket. 
Fraser: You kill them? 
Eric: Nope. 
Fraser: See any hunters come through here? 
Eric: Yep. 
Fraser: They kill them? 
Eric: Na. 
Fraser: Then who? 
Eric: Nobody. They just drank too much. 
[airplane hanger] 
Pilot [on phone]: Honey, honey. Ya got milk. I brought home a gallon yesterday. Yeah, look in the fridge. I never should have bought the damn thing. Now it's bring milk, bring butter. I'm up at ten thousand feet and she wants me to stop at the Seven-Eleven. Eh, a week ago you say. 
Fraser: It would have been a party of six. 
Pilot: Eh, I brought some nuns up on a retreat, does that help? 
Fraser: Not unless they were carrying firearms. 
Pilot: You're sure they were Americans, eh? 
Fraser: They were all wearing new boots, they were driving a Jeep Wrangler and they carried big guns. 
Pilot: American's it is. [looks thru a bunch of loose pieces of paper] Now here you go. A bunch of dentists from Chicago came up for the weekend, killed their limit and went home early. 
Fraser: Do you have a passenger list? 
Pilot: Uh...yeah. [hands him a piece of paper] Uh, I'll need it back. 
Fraser: Thank you. 
Pilot: No problem. 
Pilot: Yeah. 
Wife: Foot powder. 
Pilot: Foot powder?!? 
[coroner's office. Fraser packs in a caribou] 
Coroner: Pet, was it? 
Fraser: You think you could tell me what killed it? 
Coroner: Toss it in the freezer. It'll be a few days. 
Charlie Underhill: Twenty-two years ago I came to the Northwest Territories as a Corporal. Even then the name Bob Fraser was spoken with awe among the ranks of the new recruits. It was said he could track a ghost across sheer ice and that a young officer would have to move fast and drive hard just to catch his shadow. Many have followed the spirit and traditions of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police but few have embodied it. The name of Sergeant Robert Fraser will always be among them. 
[Wake after] 
Bartender: To Your father. May he never give the angels a moments peace. 
Gerard: Your dad and I spent too many nights in places like this. 
Fraser: What did they say? 
Gerard: I gave them your list of names, they'll sign them off and check them out. 
Fraser: With respect sir, the Chicago PD is not going to make this a high priority case. No, thank you. 
Gerard: Didn't fall to far from the tree, eh? 
Fraser: I understand that there's an opening at the Chicago consulate. 
Gerard: And you're going to go. Go charging across the border frisking sportsmen at random? Ben, man to man, if this really was a murder I'd like to find who ever did it and show them the view from the end of a rope, but I can't do that and neither can you. There were a hundred hunters out in the woods that day. Most from God knows where. You found six. They will check them out. Let them do their job. 
Fraser: I realize I wouldn't be allowed to work the case sir, but if I'm in the same city, I can at least check on the progress. 
Gerard: Tell me Constable, how many years you been on the force now? 
Fraser: Thirteen. 
Gerard: What was the biggest city you ever worked in? 
Fraser: Moose Jaw. 
Gerard: Yeah and you were transferred out after five weeks because you couldn't adapt to such an urban life style. You're like your father. Out there in no man's land, there isn't a better cop in the world. But in Chicago they'd eat you alive in a minute. Sorry. 
Fraser: I understand. But you also understand that nothing is going to stop me from finding my father's killer and bringing him to justice. 
*** 
Charlie Underhill: Give him the transfer. 
Gerard: Oh come on, Charlie. You think they're going to let him do anything? I have no jurisdiction. 
Charlie: Chicago PD is going to treat this like another request. The only way they're going to catch this guy is if he's picked up for a broken tail light and blurts out a spontaneous confession. This was Bob Fraser. Give him the transfer. 
[Chicago, Airport] 
Nun: Help feed the hungry. Food for the hungry. 
What is it? 
Fraser: Pemmican. Now if you're still hungry when you finish it? Drink water. It expands in your stomach. 
Fraser: So they won't operate on your little girl unless you pay them in advance? 
Airport Hustler: Man, without seeing the cash they won't even give you an aspirin. 
Fraser: You promise to pay me back within the week? 
Airport Hustler: As God is my witness. 
Fraser: Well, I'm afraid all I can give you is a hundred. 
Airport Hustler: You're going to give a perfect stranger a hundred dollars? You're kidding? 
Fraser: Son, I never kid about a child's life. 
[getting a taxi] 
Fraser: Oh, you take it ma'am. Hi -- oh -- please. 
[27th precinct] 
Desk Sergeant: Look here's Nanook of the North. 
Fraser: Constable Fraser. Royal Canadian Mounted Police. 
Desk Sergeant: No kidding. You got a dog? 
Fraser: He's in quarantine. 
Desk Sergeant: Shame. You like pigeons? 
Fraser: I don't have much experience with them. 
Deats: Sarge, you want to move it along? 
Desk Sergeant: Shut up, Deats. It's not that they're dirty. It's just that I'm starting to question their loyalty. 
Fraser: I'm looking for an officer assigned to this case number. 
Desk Sergeant: Oh yeah. You're going to like this fella. Drop your stuff over there with Gruber. Through those doors, down the hall, third holding cell on the right. 
Fraser: His name? 
Desk Sergeant: You can't miss him. Just look for Armani. 
[in jail cell] 
Vecchio: Can you read that? Does the label not say Armani? Of course it's original merchandise. A friend of mine just sorta found a truckload sitting on the side of the road. 
Inmate: Isn't this kind of a strange place to do business? 
Vecchio: Hey, at least in here you know who you're dealing with, right? 
Fraser: Excuse me...I'm looking for a Detective Armani? 
Ray [to the other occupants of the cell: Come on...You mean me? Guard! 
[bull pen] 
Vecchio: Okay, who let the Mountie in the holdin cell? 
Fraser: I'm sorry I believe the unfortunate confusion with an unfamiliar idiotic trade name. 
Vecchio: The confusion was, was down here you don't bust in on some guy when he's about to take down the biggest operator in the garment district for buying stolen merchandise. 
Fraser: Oh, so you were attempting to sell him a truckload of illegally obtained men's clothing. 
Vecchio: That's right. 
Fraser: Isn't that entrapment? 
Vecchio: What do you want from me? 
Fraser: I was told that you were in charge of this case. 
Vecchio: Ah yes, the dead Mountie thing, like I couldn't have guessed. Look. I've got your list of names in my basket here. The moment I get a chance I'm going to go to the computer, pick up the phone and call you with the information so you can go get your Boy Scout points. Now, is there anything else? 
Fraser: Yes. The dead Mountie was my father. And I would appreciate it if you'd check the names while there's still a chance of catching the man who killed him. Oh and by the way, he's not in the garment business. 
Vecchio: What? 
Fraser: Your man, in the cell. He had a hole in his shoe. I'm not familiar with your city but I'd assume a big garment buyer wouldn't be caught dead with a hole in his shoe, so, like you, he is pretending to be someone he's not. 
[Consulate] 
Moffet: So you want to be a Deputy Liaison Officer, eh? 
Fraser: It was my understanding I'd already gotten the position, sir. 
Moffet: No. You're the Acting Deputy Liaison Officer. You're on probation. Now I've read your reports, nobodies questioning your ability as a police officer but this us, um, big city USA and a consulate office is an entirely different kettle of ... 
Fraser: Fish? 
Moffet: Fish...uh...do you even know what we do here? 
Fraser: As Chief Liaison Officer you work closely with the local police and the various arms of the American criminal justice system and the intelligence community on matters of mutual interest. 
Moffet: Basically yes. However the FBI and CIA types are very picky about who they cozy up to. You've got to earn their respect. You've got to gain their trust and at the same time show them you're not anybody's lap dog. 
Fraser: Lap dog, sir? 
Moffet: These are American's, Fraser, if they think they can walk all over you they will. It's a delicate balance you've got to be just as shrewd and cunning and ruthless as they are and then being Canadians we have to be polite. 
Fraser: Polite? Sir? 
Moffet: What's the one thing you here American's say about Canadians over and over again. They're such nice polite people. So we use that against them. 
Fraser: I'm not exactly clear as how we do that sir. 
Moffet: We let them underestimate us. You'd be surprised at the number of people who underestimate me, Fraser. 
Fraser: I don't think so, sir. 
Moffet: How many times I've been at some diplomatic cocktail party when people start to say something and then suddenly stop, realizing I'm within hearing distance and then say 'Oh, it's just the Canadian.' It always works, though it never quite loses it's sting. So, it's a big job with a lot of ground to cover. You think you're up to it? 
Fraser: I'll do my best, sir. [Clears throat] As to my duties? 
Moffet: Oh, LeeAnn will give you a full briefing. She takes care of all that stuff. Have you met Constable Brighten? My right arm. She's the best assistant a man could have. 
LeeAnn: Yes, sir. 
Moffet: You'll, uh, give, um . . . 
Fraser: Fraser. 
Moffet: Fraser here a full briefing on all the , you know, the . . . 
LeeAnn: Yes sir. 
Moffet: I'll just, uh um take the um uh can well uh, can, well, uh...lunch. 
[showing Fraser his office] 
LeeAnn: This is your office. 
Fraser: It's very nice. 
LeeAnn: This is your desk. This is your phone. This is your rolodex. This is your tape dispenser. And this is your stapler. 
Fraser: Thank you. 
LeeAnn: Oh, there's more. This is your pencil sharpener. This is your appointment calendar. This is your combination pencil cup. These are your pencils. And this is your plant. 
Fraser: You know, I can do this. 
LeeAnn: Are you sure you don't want some help with your computer? 
Fraser: No, I don't want to -- 
LeeAnn: Well then, I'll be at my desk. 
Fraser: Well I-I appreciate the uh-- [slam door] 
LeeAnn: I want to apologize. That was uncalled for. 
Fraser: Well, I was a little curious, uh... 
LeeAnn: You see, this was to be my job. I put in four years behind that desk out there. Getting coffee, running errands, organizing every minuet detail of his life. I've paid my dues. I'm a cop, Fraser, picking up dry cleaning just doesn't come naturally. 
Fraser: Well I didn't-- 
LeeAnn: And then the job opens up and I'm finally going to get to do something other than show my legs and it's, 'Well, we're sorry, we don't think you're quite ready for the job now. We need someone with kayaking experience.' 
Fraser: I don't recall that-- 
LeeAnn: No, they didn't say that Fraser, they didn't have to. They hired you didn't they? Can I be frank? I've nothing against you personally, I'm sure you're a very nice person. You're very good at wrestling fur bearing animals. But I'm going to do everything in my power to have you fired because this is my job. I don't mean to sound like a bitch. 
Fraser: Oh -- no, no, not at all. 
LeeAnn: I'm not usually like this. 
Fraser: No, I can see that. [clear throat] Perhaps you can tell me a little bit -- unclear -- my--your--the job actually entails. 
LeeAnn: Well, that's the one good thing about this menial job of mine. I hold the duty roster. Which means your job is pretty much whatever I tell you it is. 
Fraser: Where do I start? 
[Fraser is outfront of Consulate doing guard duty] 
[Kid blowing raspberries at Fraser] 
Vecchio: Hey, what's up? It's you! I didn't recognize you standing there like that. Okay, I acted like a jerk. I didn't realize it was your father. I should have checked into it earlier. I'm sorry. Anyway you know you were right about the goomba in the cell. Now I dig around and I find that this guy is internal affairs trying to nail my butt for illegal entrapment. Can you believe that? This guy's trying to entrap me into intruding him. Cops. [sigh] In any case I figure I owed you one so here it is. Thanks. Come on, I'm apologizing here. What else do you want from me. You're kidding right? This is your job? This is, like, your real job? Do you believe it? This is his job. They actually pay people to do this in Canada. Sorry. [sigh] Anyway, I uh checked that list of names for you and I came up with something that night be something. So we should talk. [waits] Putting me on right? Okay, you just let me know when you get off and I'll come back. You got a break comin up soon or something. I'm talkin to a corpse here. Oh. [the bells chime and Fraser is off duty] 
[the elevator at the dental building] 
Vecchio: So I called the American Dental Association and everyone on your list comes up and members only one of them Dr. Laurence Medley isn't current with his dues. So I call the last number they have on the guy and the nurse says he can't come to the phone he's been dead twelve years. This makes me curious. 
Fraser: It only takes an extra second to be courteous. 
[climbing the stairs] 
Vecchio: My bets, there aren't a lot of high speed chases in Canada, huh? 
Dentist: Actually I never met him. He called and said he'd heard about our annual hunting trip and he asked it he could come along. Harry Prencit, paradontist, he usually comes with but this year he had that accident so, uh . . . let me take a look here. Ah! There he is. Yeah, Larry Medley is the one in the corner. And I believe that's the only one I got of him. Yep. For some reason he was never around when we were taking pictures. Not much of a hunter, never shot a thing. I came home with that big fella right there. [a beaver] 
[bullpen, at a computer] 
Fraser: So, how do you know? 
Vecchio: I don't. I never said I did. I said I had a feeling I'd seen him before. 
Fraser: You recognized his face? 
Vecchio: Not so much his face as his nose. 
Fraser: His nose? 
Vecchio: Yeah. It's like I have this ability. Everyone's nose is distinctive. Now two people have exactly the same nose. I just have this thing where I never forget a nose. Call it a gift. You know how to type? 
Fraser: A hundred words per minute. Why? 
Vecchio: June eighty-six. I'm walking a beat. I get a call on this domestic violence case. Very very messy. The guy has his wife's arm in the car door and he's slammin it and slammin it. Now, when I see the guy in the photo. I flash on this guys nose. That's the puppy, Frankie Drake. What do you thing? 
Fraser: That's exactly the same nose. 
Vecchio: What did I tell you. Now it stuck in my mind because homicide has been tryin to nail him for a mob hit. 
Fraser: He's a hired killer? 
Vecchio: Well I don't think he hunts for relaxation, Fraser. Now someone wants your dad out of way enough to import a professional, you have any idea why? 
Fraser: No. Do you have an address? 
Ray" Yeah but it's not worth the cab fair to check. He'd a been long gone by now. 
Fraser: But you have an idea. 
Vecchio: One lead, okay? I'm going to follow up one lead and that's it because I don't have time to make a career of this case. And gettin my name in some Yukon Gazette ain't gonna do buttcus for my career, you understand? 
Fraser: I understand. 
Vecchio: Good. Now mush. Yee-ha or what ever you Canadians say. 
Fraser: Where we going? 
[on the street] 
Vecchio: There's this place I know where a lot of heavy weights hang out. Kind of people who can reach out and touch somebody like Frank. Now I been workin it for months, you know, hangin out, fittin in. They think I'm complete scum and down here? Your reputation is everything. Where the hell did I leave my car? 
Fraser: Thirty-two degrees south. 
Vecchio: Right. Uh, what's your first name anyway. I mean I can't keep callin you Fraser. 
Fraser: Benton. 
Vecchio: What's you're first name? 
Fraser: Benton. 
Vecchio: Do you have a first name? 
Fraser: Can we made a stop along the way? 
Vecchio: Sure.
Fraser: Diefenbaker. 
Vecchio: He's on me! 
Fraser: Dief-- 
Vecchio: He's getting intimate with me! Did you see him? He was getting intimate with me! 
Fraser: I'm sorry, he's usually much better behaved. He's just excited about being out of that quarantine cage. 
Vecchio: You want to tell him to get off of me? 
Fraser: Diefenbaker. 
Vecchio: Oh, yeah, he's very well trained. 
Fraser: Well he is actually. He's just deaf. 
Vecchio: Huh? 
Fraser: And he's facing the wrong way so you just tell him yourself. 
Vecchio: I'm not real good with dogs. 
Fraser: Actually he's more of a wolf. 
Vecchio: WOLF! 
Fraser: Just try to enunciate. 
Vecchio: GET! OFF! ME! 
Fraser: Sorry. 
Vecchio: There is a deaf wolf in my back seat. 
Fraser: Yes. 
Fraser: Two years ago he jumped off an ice flow into Prince Rupert sound and pulled me out and his ear drums burst from the cold. 
Vecchio: Really? I didn't know wolves saved lives. 
Fraser: Well, he doesn't always. I mean, he'll save you if he sees you. 
Vecchio: Oh great! 
[parking outside a bar] 
Vecchio: Well you won't find this on most of your tourist maps. And I wouldn't go walking around here by yourself. 
Fraser: Really! 
Vecchio: Trust me on this, will you? That's the joint. Just tell him to stay here and not eat anything with an emblem on it, all right? 
Fraser: Stay. Here. 
Vecchio: He reads lips? 
Fraser: I've never been sure. If so, he's self-taught. Evening. Excuse me. My friend here tells me this isn't a very good neighborhood. So, I wonder if you would mind watching the car for us. 
Hood: Absolutely. 
Fraser: Thank you. [to Ray] I just asked them to watch the car. 
Vecchio: I think they were already watching it. 
[outside bar doors] 
Vecchio: Whoa, whoa, whoa, Red. You can't just go marching in there. I have a history with these people. They think that I'm one of them. You understand? 
Fraser: Ah. So you want me to blend into the crowd. 
Vecchio: You have a hat line embedded in your forehead. 
Fraser: Well, perhaps if we identified ourselves and then questioned them directly, they'd cooperate. 
Vecchio: And what would make them do that?
Fraser [to Dief who has what appears to be a mans shirt in his mouth]: Did I not tell you to stay in the car? Let's go. 
Dief: urr? 
Fraser [comes back and looks directly at the wolf]: Let's. Go. 
[inside the bar] 
Vecchio: Hey Chuck how's it going? You still single? He he he. Life's a bitch huh. Listen, do me a favor. I'm looking for a friend of mine. 
Chuck: You're in the wrong neighborhood, Vecchio. You got no friends here. 
Vecchio: Aw come on Chuck. I got nothin but friends, everybody likes me. I do business with everybody. And um, I'd like to do a little business with Frankie Drake. You seen him around? 
Chuck: You know, Vecchio, the strangest thing. Every time I introduce you to someone the cops appear. 
Vecchio: I had some unreliable people working for me, Chuck. It happens. What can I say? 
Chuck: I don't know. Use your imagination. 
Vecchio: Hey, what the hell is going on? 
Chuck: You've been made man. 
Vecchio: Aw come on just because I carry a gun does that make me a cop? Okay. Okay, so maybe I offended some of you guys but uh, I know. I know. Let me make it up to you. I'll give five hundred dollars to anyone who knows what a moose sounds like. 
[Door bursts open] 
Fraser: Excuse me may I have your attention please. Thank you. Anyone carrying illegal weapons, if you would place them on the bar you are under arrest. [knife thrown, it's lands next to his head] You realize I'm going to have to confiscate that? 
Punk 1: Hey Dudley Do Right, you got no jurisdiction here. 
Fraser: Now that is true son. However, this gentleman does. Ray would you be so good as to show them your I.D. And now if you would all just step back, Detective Vecchio and I will collect your weapons. 
Punk 2: Would it be too much for us to ask you to show us your gun? 
Fraser: No, not at all. I carry a standard thirty eight caliber Smith and Wessen service revolver. 
Man: I got a Barretta, man, would you like to see it? 
Fraser: But without a local license, I am not permitted to use it. And that is why it's empty. 
Dief: Growl. 
Man: Whoa! 
Fraser: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, you're a good citizen. 
Vecchio: Okay, weapons on the bar. You heard the man. You, guns on the bar. Don't even think about it, Scarface. 
Fraser; Thank you. Thank you. I'll be back for those. 
Vecchio: Yo! Batman! 
[Drake starts shooting, Ray returns fire] 
Vecchio: Who carries an unloaded gun? Would I carry an unloaded gun? Would anyone I know carry an unloaded gun? What do they shoot people with in Canada, serviettes? 
Vecchio: Do the words bullets mean anything to you? 
Fraser: I think we're on the right track. 
[Drake ducks out the back] 
[phone booth] 
Drake: Francis Drake. Yeah -- like the explorer. Never heard that one before. Guess who? Well I thought you said there weren't going to be any complications. Yeah, yeah a big one. And it's wearin a hat. No-no. No-no. I'll take care of him myself but uh, I'm afraid there'll be an additional charge. Well yes, sir. My pleasure. 
[Walsh's Office] 
Walsh: One solid oak bar, sixteen tables, twelve chairs, one etched mirror, six by nine, one antique pool table, two doors, thirty two bottles of liquor and a Pabst Blue Ribbon neon clock. Does this seem like a fairly accurate list of the damages, Detective Vecchio? 
Vecchio: I don't believe the pool table was an antique, sir. 
Walsh: Oh, well, we'll never know now will we. Because all that's left is this bag of felt. 
Vecchio: I sought refuge of the item in question when the suspect pointed a shot gun in my direction and fired repeatedly sir. 
Walsh: Suspect. I'm glad we finally got around to that because I would hate to think we were responsible for all this damage without a very good reason. You say you identified him by his nose? 
Vecchio: Yes sir. 
Walsh: You didn't say something about his nose, causing him to fire repeatedly into the bar? 
Vecchio: Ah, no sir. 
Walsh: You just felt that his nose was so offensive that you decided to pursue and arrest him? 
Vecchio: Captain, the suspect is a known felon and you see I had this hunch that-- 
Walsh: You had a hunch? [laugh] A hunch! And you coupled your hunch with your positive identification of his nose. And this was the basis of your investigation. An investigation which resulted in injury of seven people. Three with gun shot wounds, two with broken limbs, one hospitalized with a concussion and one who claims to have been bitten by a wolf. 
Vecchio: The wolf was just trying to help sir. 
Walsh: They usually are. 
Fraser: If I could say something sir? 
Walsh: Well of course you can young man. I'm not sure exactly how a Mountie fits into this case but . . . I like to keep an open mind. 
Fraser: It was at my urging Detective Vecchio went to the bar. 
Walsh: Ah, so it wasn't just a hunch about a nose. You went there at the urging of a Mountie. Detective, how many open, unsolved crimes are on your desk right now? 
Vecchio: Forty one. 
Walsh: And how bout you Constable Fraser. How many open unsolved cases are you working on right now? 
Fraser: One sir. 
Walsh: One. Then as intrigued as I am by this case, let me suggest that you go back to your desk and you pick up any one of those open forty one files and you put your nose into it. And you keep it there until you have an epiphany. 
Vecchio: Yes sir. 
Walsh: Yes. 
[bullpin] 
Fraser: I'll write up a report. I'm sure he'll see this was all my responsibility. 
Vecchio: Yeah, thanks. You leave this number for a doctor somebody? 
Fraser: He called. 
Vecchio: So it says. 
Fraser: May I? [picks up phone] 
Coroner: Coroner's office. 
Fraser: This is Constable Fraser. 
Coroner: Oh, yeah, I was just about to put this in the mail to you. I uh I did that autopsy on that caribou you dropped off. It drowned. 
Fraser: I'm sorry? 
Coroner: Drowned. Lungs were full of water. That do anything for you? 
Fraser: It drank to much. 
Coroner: Yeah that's another way of looking at it. I'll uh I'll mail you the report. 
Fraser: Thank you. [hangs up phone. Then to Ray] How much do I owe you? 
Vecchio: Explanation. 
Fraser: A hundred yards from where my father died I found the carcasses of several dozen caribou. Coroner says they drowned. 
Vecchio: And I thought they were such great swimmers. 
Fraser: They didn't have to be. They drowned on dry land. For the call. I appreciate you putting yourself out for me.[Fraser is addressing envelopes and Dief is licking them shut. LeeAnn watches. After Consulate closes, Fraser puts LeeAnn in a taxi] 
Fraser: Taxi! 
LeeAnn: You know. We even heard about your father down here. He was quiet the man. 
Fraser: Yes. He was a great man. Walk her to her door. 
Cabby: This is Canadian. 
Fraser: So is she. 
[sitting in a diner] 
Ten January, nineteen sixty nine. I tracked McClay up through Chilkat Pass. I found him at the top half a mile from the border. His ankle was broken, his ammunition spent. He just sat staring at the horizon. I took his rifle without a struggle. All he said was, 'Don't tell my son' and then he jumped. The man was falling to his death and all he cared about was how his son would remember him. I buried him there this morning. I'll tell Gerard he got away from me. The last time I saw Ben he was barely tall enough to reach my belt. When I said good-by, he shook my hand. Never a tear nor a complaint. Seven years old and he's already a stronger man than I'll ever be. Someday I'll tell him.
[Ray shows up at the diner] 
Vecchio: You know I started thinkin when you left. 
Fraser: You solved all forty one cases? 
Vecchio: Well, I got restless, made a few calls. The truth? I checked every snitch I ever knew. No one's talkin. No one knows Drake, no one wants to know me. what's this? 
Fraser: It's my father's journal. I was just reading. 
Vecchio: Looking for something you missed? 
Fraser: Yeah. 
Vecchio: Nineteen sixty nine? Going back a ways. Find anything? 
Fraser: I don't know. 
Vecchio: Look. I know how you must feel. I mean if it was my old man? Well, if it was my old man, I'd be the last person you'd want on the case. He pretty much thought that I screwed up everything I ever touched. You know he's been dead for five years now and I still feel like I'm trying to prove myself to him? Your father want you to be a cop? 
Fraser: I don't know. All these years and I can't remember him asking me to do anything for him. Not one thing. This is the only time he's ever needed my help. 
Vecchio: You got any other family? 
Fraser: No. 
Vecchio: Well I'm gonna show you why you are a lucky man. Come on. 
[Ray's House] 
Mrs. Vecchio: Maria, you are not getting an annulment. 
Maria: Ma, how can you say that? The man is an animal. 
Mrs. Vecchio: You're among friends, use your fingers. 
Maria: Ma. Ma. He's a beast. 
Mrs. Vecchio: A man who buys his wife a leopard print house coat is no beast. 
Maria: For our anniversary? Five years we've been together. All he can come up with is a used house coat. 
Tony: It was not used. The guy just happened to sell lingerie out of the trunk. 
Vecchio: You make any sense out of the dead caribous? 
Fraser: Uh no. Um. 
Mrs. Vecchio: Francesca, you stay out of this. 
Francesca: Ma! Thank you! 
Fraser: Is it always like this? 
Vecchio: It's okay, they only attack the ones they love. 
Tony: I'll tell you ma 
Maria: Don't you call her Ma. And get your own Polenta. You ate it all. 
Tony: She's still my mother-in-law and I'll call her what I like. You understand. 
Mrs. Vecchio: All right, stop the arguing, I'll get the polenta. 
Francesca: No, Ma. Don't touch the polenta. He can get his own. 
Maria: He is my husband, I will tell him not to get the polenta. 
Francesca: Well maybe you should tell him not to get the polenta after all. 
Fraser: [clears throat] Perhaps I could get the polenta. 
Tony: Would you bring the pan please? 
Mrs. Vecchio: He's very nice . . . so polite. 
Vecchio: He's Canadian, Ma. 
Mrs. Vecchio: Oh, I thought he was sick or something. 
Francesca: Is he married? What?!? 
Fraser: Ray? Polenta? 
Vecchio: Uh, sorta like a yellow pemmican. 
Francesca: At least my husband never yelled at the dinner table. 
Husband; Maybe because he wasn't around long enough to have a full meal. 
Francesca: [Hey! No fair! It's Italian.] 
Vecchio: He broke her arm. 
He did? 
Fraser: I found the polenta. 
Vecchio: We gotta go. 
Fraser: I'll get my hat. 
Mrs. Vecchio: Who broke who's arm? 
Vecchio: Drake. He broke his wife's arm. 
Francesca: Of course he did, he's a man isn't he? 
Maria: Oh -- all men are evil just because you can't keep one. 
Francesca; Oh sure. 
Vecchio: Now if we find the ex-wife, we find Drake. This is a woman who'd love to see him behind bars. 
Fraser: Thanks for dinner, ma'am. 
Mrs. Vecchio: ooo You hardly ate anything. Wait I'll wrap it up. 
Francesca: It was very nice to meet you. Maybe next time you can bring your girlfriend. 
Fraser: Oh I'm afraid I-I don't-- 
Francesca: Oh really? 
Mrs. Vecchio: Raymondo. 
Vecchio: Maaaaa! [definite whine in his voice, but he comes back and kisses her cheek] 
Mrs. Vecchio. Hey. [more italian] 
[outside of Mrs. Drakes apartment house] 
Fraser: Looks dark. 
Vecchio: Eh driver's license says she still lives here. Now watch what you say to her you don't want to spook her. And take your lead from me you got to know how to play these people. 
[Fraser is tasting stuff on the street] 
Vecchio: What are you doing. Put that down you don't know where that's been. Oh no that is disgusting! Put that down. Don't do that. God! That is disgusting. 
Fraser: I'm sorry. 
Vecchio: Can't I take you anywhere? 
[Drakes apartment] 
Vecchio: Mrs. Drake, police may we come in? Thank you. 
Mrs. Drake: Do you have a warrant? Hey my kid is sleeping. 
Vecchio: We're looking for your husband, Mrs. Drake. 
Mrs. Drake: We're divorced he doesn't live here and get out of my house. 
Vecchio: But you know where he is. 
Mrs. Drake: Yeah we exchange love letters. I don't see him, I don't speak to him now get out of my house. 
Vecchio: Come on you don't want us taking you in. Wakin up the kid right? Now has he seen his father? 
Mrs. Drake: Get out. Get out of my house. 
Fraser: Ma'am we're sorry to disturb you. We won't keep you any longer. Let's go. 
Vecchio: What? 
Fraser: Ray. 
Vecchio: Great. You know maybe we shoulda had tea on your chesterfield instead. 
Fraser: Sorry, oh uh Mrs. Drake. When your husband was here this afternoon did he threaten? 
Mrs. Drake: I haven't seen him, okay? 
Fraser: We can protect you. 
Mrs. Drake: He's in Chinatown. Don't think you can just arrest him, kill the son of a bitch. 
[on the street] 
Vecchio: Okay. Okay. It was the mud, right? You knew it came off his shoe because when you sniffed it, it smelled like: Mud! I mean, what else does much smell like? 
Fraser: Perhaps it was something off the floor of the bar. 
Vecchio: Wood? No no no. Beer and maybe a peanut shells and when you tasted it, which by the way I can't believe you put that in your mouth you tasted the salt from the peanut shells and knew that he had been here, right? 
Fraser: Wrong. I guessed. I had a hunch. 
Ray. No no no no. You don't have hunches. I have hunches. 
Fraser: I had one of your hunches Ray. Felt good. 
Vecchio: And what was it with the mud? You put mud in your mouth. 
Fraser: Ray, she was looking out the window and I simply made her believe I found something. 
Vecchio: You made her believe you were a mud eater. I can't believe I'm sitting in the same car with you. 
Fraser: Where's this address. 
Vecchio: Why? What are you gonna do? Tell him to surrender or you're gonna eat something off the curb? 
[Mrs. Drake's apartment] 
Drake: It's very convincing. [to boy] Now let's put you and your mama to bed, huh? 
[Chinatown] 
Vecchio: One-two-seven hundred Franklin, one officer on the scene and tell 'em not to shoot the guy in the hat. 
Elaine: Back ups on the way. 
[on street] 
Vecchio: So where you from? 
Fraser: Is this a good time to be discussing this? 
Vecchio: Come on. We're two friends out for a walk. Where you from? 
Fraser: Well, I grew up with my grandparents in Inuvik. 
Vecchio: Really? Is that downtown Inuvik or the outskirts. 
Fraser: More the outskirts. Then when I was eight we moved to Alert and after that Tuktoyatuk. 
Vecchio: Ah, let me guess. Your grandparents were what -- nomadic glacier farmers? 
Fraser: Librarians. Do we have a warrant? 
Vecchio: Practically. 
[they break into the apartment] 
Vecchio: Here's a man who doesn't know how to spend his money. 
Fraser: You know Ray -- 
Vecchio: Fraser! [Then Ray pushes him out the window before the explosion] 
[hospital...with Ray in the bed] 
Vecchio: I uh I think this was a big mistake. 
Fraser: Yeah. 
Vecchio: I screwed up. I'm sorry. 
Fraser: Don't. 
Vecchio: Yeah. 
Gerard: Ben. You were suppose to work through the police. You'd no right to be in that apartment working this case. You'll have to come back with me. There'll be a fitness board hearing. I did what I could. 
Fraser: I know. 
Gerard: I'll get the car. 
LeeAnn: I'm sorry. 
Fraser: Diefenbaker. 
LeeAnn: Oh uh, I'll get him through quarantine. I'll have him back up north before you are. 
Fraser: Thank You. 
[Gerard's car] 
Gerard: You know what I was just thinking about? The first time I met your father. We were standing out for inspection and he had one boot on. Sergeant looks down at his feet and says - [Drake blows out the window] 
Fraser [to Gerard]: You okay? 
[Drake is in van, Fraser on the roof, they finally stop] 
Drake: Come on, come on, come on, move!
Fraser: I've got him! 
Gerard. No, I got him. [and he shoots Drake dead] He reached for his knife. 
Fraser: There was no knife. 
Gerard: The man killed your father. He was reaching for his knife. We both saw it. 
Gerard [to arriving cops]: RCMP! 
[Canada] 
[sitting near a dam] 
Eric: This used to be a feeding ground for thousands of caribou. They lived off the land and so did we. Till the water came. They said it wouldn't change anything but now some nights the rivers run backward. Land becomes an ocean and the caribou die. And in the morning the ocean is gone all back here neat and tidy. 
Fraser: Why haven't you told someone. 
Eric: Told your father. He didn't do anything. Neither will you. 
Doo Mah! 
[on the road, near the dam] 
Fraser: He knew what they were doing at the dam. 
Gerard: Most people around here did. And they earn their livings off it. People want homes, jobs. You know how much money this dam brought into this community? How many people would be hurt if they shut it down? Progress has it's price. 
Fraser: And what was yours? They paid to keep quiet about it. He was going to turn you in. That's what I'm going to do. 
Gerard: I wasn't the only one they paid. Gave his whole life to the people up here. And all he ended up with was that shack of his. He wanted to buy a little piece of land up there some place. Ya blame him? Can you see your dad stuck in some government retirement home? Not likely. It wasn't easy to convince him to take the money but he finally did. [Gerard hold's out a bank book] 
Fraser: This is just a piece of paper. 
Gerard: Didn't start off such a big thing. They built the damn thing wrong. Can't hold that much water. So you twist a valve here press a button there you let out a little. Only it turned out to be more than a little and they had to keep doing it. I think when he saw what they were doing to the land he just couldn't live with it. He wanted out. They wanted me to do it. But I couldn't. I made the call. 
Fraser: He was your friend, you son of a bitch. [Holds a gun on Gerard, but he's shaking and you know he won't pull the trigger, he's just angry] 
Gerard: Yes, he was. Your father was a great man. A hell of a lot better man than me. And now he's only got one thing left. His reputation. Arrest me and you take away the only thing he loved more. It's your call. Check the bank, it's all there. I'm sorry. 
[town] 
Politician: The enormous prosperity which phase one of our operation has brought to this region will be more than doubled by phase two. A facility which will not only boon the economy of this unique community but which will when completed provide vital hydro electric power for the people and industries of most of the eastern seaport. Ladies and gentlemen with great pride I give you Phase two. 
Gerard: He won't cause any trouble. 
Politician: Good cause I'd hate to see a perfectly good career go to waste. 
Gerard: Yours or mine? 
Politician: This time do it right.
[Fraser is in his cabin, puttering, opens a chest and adds the bank book to the contents. He hears someone outside, goes to door with rifle in hand, yanks open the door and finds Ray, in snowsuit, sunglasses and a neck brace] 
Vecchio: You ever think about getting a phone? We use em quite a bit in the states now. Maybe you seen the commercials for em. 
Fraser: Ray. 
Vecchio: Go ahead, shoot. Be a hell of a lot easier than getting out of this snowsuit. 
Fraser: You suppose to be out of the hospital? 
Vecchio: Figured out who did it. I was lying there and I just kept going over and over it in my head. Drake didn't have a phone in his apartment house. How did he do business. So I check out the pay phone at the bar we busted up. One call to Canada. Number in this area code. You know who he called? 
Fraser: Gerard. 
Ray. Exactly--You knew? 
Fraser: Yes. 
Ray; You couldn't have called and told me this? 
Fraser: I'm sorry. 
Vecchio: Dropped me a post card saying 'Hi, I've solved the case.' 
Fraser: My mistake. 
Vecchio: 'Don't bother crawling out of your deathbed and flying up to the armpit of the frozen north. I figured out who did it?' 
Fraser: Can I help you get out of that? 
Vecchio: Just point me to the john. [he looks around the room] 
Fraser: Well, uh . . . 
*** 
Vecchio: So we got some fishing rods, a rifle last used by Chuck Conner's and a bag of rice. So what's your plan. 
Fraser: We wait for them to come. 
Vecchio: Yeah . . . and . . . 
Fraser: Then we arrest them. 
Vecchio: You see, that's such a simple plan that the American mind automatically tends to discount it, so let me run it back to you. We wait here. Gerard and God knows who else comes, sometime when? We're not sure. And then, when we least expect it, they shoot us dead with automatic weapons. Any part I left out? 
Fraser: Yes. I need Gerard alive to testify so we can't kill him. 
Vecchio: Oh, I don't think we're in any danger doing that. 
Fraser: When I graduated from the Academy, my father gave me one piece of advice. He said always . . . no, he said never . . . well actually he gave me two pieces of advice but I've forgotten the other one but the important one is, never chase a man over a cliff. 
Vecchio: That's suppose to mean something in Canadian, isn't it? 
Fraser: If you're going to take on a man, you'd better know more than he does. Our strength is I know this area better than anyone. There weakness is they think they have an advantage. 
Vecchio: Let me see that bag. Being an American, I also know where my strength lies, and that's in being as heavily armed as possible at all times. [dumps contents] It's all completely legal, I swear to you. 
Fraser: Time to feed the troops.
[Ray makes it out a trap door and finds Fraser] 
Vecchio: You okay? 
Fraser: They're here. 
Vecchio: Yeah. They knocked. 
Fraser: This way. We're taking the sled. 
Vecchio: With dogs? Go go go. Mush mush. Yee-ha mush go. 
Fraser: Okay guys. 
[on sled, the chase continues] 
Fraser: Haw. 
Vecchio: Haw? What is Haw? 
Fraser: Left. Haw. Use that. [hands him a sled anchor] 
Vecchio: How? 
Fraser: Get down. Hang on. 
Vecchio: Watch the arm. 
Fraser: Hill. Haw. Look when we get past that bend, jump off. They'll follow me. 
Vecchio: Like Hell. Because I'll be dead from falling off the sled. 
Fraser: Just get this guy off my tail. I can take care of the other one. 
Vecchio: Alright. [jumps...groan...pant] aw geeze, geeze. I've got to have some more...[groan...he means bullets.] Gee! [throws a stick and gets the guy] Cool!

Fraser: HA HA *Man chaisng OFM goes over a cliff* Obviously your father never gave you that piece of advice. 
*Dief has been shot... here a gun being set.* 
Fraser: It's over you cant cover this one up you shoot me and they'll hunt you to the ends of the earth.*GUN SHOT HEARD (G shot)* 
Innuit guy - Sorry I thought he was a caribou so many hunting accidents. 
Fraser: Hold on Diefenbaker... we'll get you fixed up open your eyes when I'm talking to you.. I said hold on... you never listen. 
Vecchio: Help me put him on the sled (Gerrard) 
Fraser: No we'll come back for him later. OK Guys. 
Vecchio: You know we just took out 7 guys 1 more and you qualify for American citizenship. 
*Reporter out side a court house* 
Reporter- In a stunning set back for the defence Gerrard pleaded guilty today and agreed to testify against his co defendent... now ... while attempting to distance itself from the murder trial the new government was quick to deny any wrong doing at its East Bay Power Plant... Maintaining that 10,000 caribou drowned in the forest as a result of a series of freak natural occurances... Phase 2 of the project is scheduled to begin construction this year... will flood a wilderness area the size of Germany. Shelley Perry Channel 6 news. 
The chief- You didn't make a lot of friends today. There is no record of your father making any withdrawals... None of the deposits were made in person... Ppl will believe what they want to believe, I know what I do. 
Fraser: I appreciate that. 
Chief- I talked to the super at your last job .. he suggested transfering you further north. 
Fraser: Well that would put me in Russia Sir. 
Chief- Seems the only ppl that do want you are in Chicago. If I were you I'd make do until things calm down. 
Fraser: How long will that be? 
Chief- You turned in one of your own.. It's not right but.... 
Fraser: Thanks for trying Sir... 
Chief- Everyone says he was the last of a breed... It's not true... you are. 
* The cabin... Ben nails up the shutters... Dief is whining* 
Fraser: I'm not carrying you... I'm not... All right *picks the wolf up* Just dont get comfortable. 
**- Chicago... on sentry post... Ray trying to get a response from B.. not succeeding. 
Vecchio: Listen I just want to know if you can really smell whats in mud?? .. Cos I've been following this guy... Are you listening to me... I can't believe it I get my ass blown off for yu and you can't even nod... OK... How about winking... winkings against the law??? 
Guy who borrowed $100 dollars of B at the airport: Ah when he gets off work can you give him this ... its the hundred he lent me.... 

End of The Pilot
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Free Willie

(scene of the quiet city) 
[Robbers in elevator getting ready, exit and proceeds to rob the place] 
Robber: Good afternoon. Ah! Get down on the floor. On the floor now. Get down now. Nobody move. Ah! On the ground -- keep your head down. Get down. Get down there. Get on the floor. Get down. Stay on the floor. Shut up! Get out of my way. Here it is. Let's go. Move. Move. Move. Come on. Nobody move. Get back down. On the floor. On the floor. Get back down. 
[Robbers exit the elevator, onto the street they separate] 
[in Riv] 
Vecchio: Fraser, you do not want to live in this neighborhood. Cops do not live in areas like this. Most people we bust won't live here. 
Fraser: Why? It's central, convenient. I could walk to work in seven minutes. 
Vecchio: Not without backup. 
Fraser: 231. It's just up on the right. 
Vecchio: Do me a favor. Let's just turn around. I'll take you back to your hotel. 
Fraser: Oh I can't. I checked out. The windows wouldn't open. 
Vecchio: Fraser, this is Chicago, the only reason to open a window is to get a better aim. 
[Fraser standing on street grinning at his surroundings, then into the building] 
Vecchio: Oh yeah I can see what draws you to this place. Decorative graffiti motifs, the cleaver use of plumbing to create the waterfall effect and the ease and convenience of being able to dump your garbage right into the hall. 
Fraser: I forgot to ask if they take pets. Diefenbaker. 
Vecchio: Oh yeah. A dog could easily throw off the delicately balanced ecosystem. Don't worry big fella, you'll have plenty to hunt in here. 
Fraser: Pardon us. 
[Dennis looking down at them from the floor above] 
Dennis: Yo. I found the keys. 
Fraser: I'll be right up sir. Ray - Ray - Ray. 
Vecchio: What? 
Fraser: Is my lanyard straight? 
Vecchio: He's a slum lord. 
Dennis: Up here on the terrace level is where you get your great view. Of course it costs a little extra but worth every penny. 
Vecchio: It there a terrace? 
Dennis: No. 
Fraser: Would you like to see my references now? 
Dennis: References? 
Vecchio: It's like a rap sheet. 
Dennis: No, that's okay. 
Fraser: Mrs. Garcia,[door slams] Mr. Campbell.[door slams] Hello Mr. Mustafi.[door slams] 
Vecchio: You know these people? 
Fraser: No, I memorized their names from the mailboxes. Good morning Ms Krezjapolou.[door slams] It only takes a little extra effort to be a good neighbor, Ray. 
[the apartment] 
Dennis: This is the place. The furniture, appliances and all of this great stuff is included. Utilities are extra. [at the window with Fraser] On a good day, you can see Canada just across the lake. 
Fraser: Canada is four hundred and eighty miles due North. 
Dennis: You have to really squint. 
(scream) 
Fraser: Excuse me. I'll be back. Dief -- go. (jumps out the window) 
Dennis: He's not some kind of nut, is he? 
[Ray and Dennis looking out at him] 
Vecchio: He's a Mountie. It's something they do. 
Vecchio: Hey Benny, you want to hold up there? 
Dennis: Hey you taken the place or what? 
[Ray crawls out the window] 
Fraser: I'll be right back with the deposit. 
Dennis: Well you better. This place is in high demand. 
[Dief passes two street people] 
Street person 1: Looked like a wolf. 
Street person 2: Yep. 
[Willie running along the street, Fraser running on the roofs] 
Fraser: Good morning. 
Rooftop worker: Good morning. 
[Ray not too far behind but not willing to jump from roof to roof] 
Vecchio: Well come on, you gonna help me or what? 
Worker: I'm on lunch. 
Fraser: This...[jumps and is barely hanging on the edge of the building]was a mistake. 
Ray crawling over a ladder the worker put across the two buildings] 
Vecchio: Okay, this is good, this is fine. Whoa! [Dief running] Don't shake it. 
[Ray falls a short way, decides to go back for the ladder] 
Worker: Hey, I'm working here. 
Vecchio: So sue me. 
[Willie over the fence, Dief over the fence, Fraser's drain pipe gives] 
Fraser: Oh. [Lands in front of Willie] That's far enough son. 
Willie: What are you a flying Boy Scout or something? 
Fraser: Constable Benton Fraser, Royal Canadian Mounted Police. You've broken the law son, that carries a heavy penalty. Perhaps you didn't think it through. 
Willie: Man, back off, okay, just back off. 
Fraser: Well, I'm afraid I can't do that. Now if you'll hand me that purse. 
Willie: Said back off! 
Fraser: Diefenbaker. No. 
Willie: You better keep that dog off of me or I'll pop him too. 
Fraser: No you won't. You're going to hand me that gun. You're going to return that purse and you're going to apologize to that lady. 
Willie: Why? I got the gun. 
Fraser: Cause you don't want to hurt anyone and because if you don't you might end up hurting yourself. 
Willie: Well you know you're lucky cop. I coulda shot you right through the heart. 
Fraser: I don't think so, because that would require knowing how to take off the safety. 
Vecchio: Aaaaaaah [thump-Ray lands on the ground] 
Mrs. Dogwood: Apartment 4D. Six o'clock. 
Fraser: Well thank you Mrs. Dogwood, I'm looking forward to it. 
Mrs. Dogwood: Please, call me Enid. 
[Ray comes running] 
Vecchio: Hey! Hey! What's going on. 
Fraser: I've just been invited to dinner. 
Vecchio: Well where is he? 
Fraser: Who? 
Vecchio: The kid! The purse snatcher. Where is he? I wanna book him. 
Fraser: I let him go. 
Vecchio: You let him go? 
Fraser: Well he apologized and promised never to do it again. 
Vecchio: You just let him go? 
Fraser: Not without a stern warning. Also, he gave me this. 
Vecchio: Does the word 'incarcerate' mean anything to you?!? 
Fraser: Well it's from the Medieval Latin, 'incarerata . . . 
Vecchio: Medieval Latin? You let a perp go and you're giving me Medieval Latin? 
Fraser: Actually, perpetrator is also Latin, from perpetrare . . . 
Vecchio: Shut up, okay? Just shut up. 
[outside the Consulate] 
Marauding Cleaner Salesman: Now you strike me as a man with who has only one thing on his mind. You're saying to yourself, Why do I need another all purpose cleanser. Now, Dandy Cleanser isn't just any cleaning product. It removes rust, stains, mildew, always leaves a dandy shine. Hey look! You can see your face in it. 
Vecchio: No kidding, can you see my badge in it? 
Marauding Cleaner Salesman: That I can. 
Vecchio: Okay I know you're acting as Canada's last line of defense here, guarding your consulate against marauding cleaner salesmen, but we've got a problem. You know that gun you took off the purse snatcher this morning? I ran it through ballistics, guess what it spit out. Go ahead, guess. You need a clue? It rhymes with the kid shot somebody. All right, not interested? I'll catch you later. 
Fraser: Ray. 
Vecchio: Ah sure now you want to talk. 
Fraser: Shift just ended. What do you mean shot somebody. 
Vecchio: A bullet from the kids gun matches one that they dug out of a guys arm yesterday. Robbery at a brokerage firm. 
Fraser: Diefenbaker. 
Fraser: He didn't do it you know. The kid. 
Vecchio: And if he did I'm sure he apologized. 
[27th precinct] 
Huey: Okay Mr. Hamlin as we play the tape I want you to talk us through it okay? 
Hamlin: Okay. 
Huey: Okay. 
Hamlin: Play the tape. 
Huey: Go ahead. 
Vecchio: Security camera runs twenty four hours in the place. They come in at 4:38 and gone by 4:41. Three minutes. 
Fraser: Indicating someone with a lot of experience. 
Vecchio: Or someone quick on their feet. 
Hamlin: Here they are. Here they are. Three of them. Two of them were maybe six feet, the other one wasn't even five foot three or four. The little one just stuck a gun in my ribs. He just shot someone I thought. 
Louis: Yeah sure you did. Did he say anything? 
Hamlin: Just open the vault so I did. 
Huey: Looks like they knew what they were after. They didn't touch any of the other stuff. 
Hamlin: Just the bearer bonds. 
Huey: The little one, you said he was five three or four. Could it have been a kid? You know, a teenager. 
Hamlin: I'm not sure, uh, yeah, I suppose, yes. 
Vecchio: Not a betting man are you Benny? 
[interrogation room] 
Vecchio: Lambert, William. Age 13. Quite a little record here Willie. Seven arrests. First at age ten. Petty theft. Theft. More theft. 
Willie. I had to support my mother. 
Vecchio: You don't have a mother, kid. 
Social Worker: He also has no convictions so you shouldn't have that list. 
Vecchio: We don't need it. We checked your prints against the gun. The only ones that come up are yours. You're going down for this one Willie. 
Willie: I told you I found it somewhere. 
Social Worker: You don't have to tell them nothing. Okay? 
Fraser: Well that's true but I'd suggest it's in Willie's interest to talk to us. If you are innocent son, there is no reason to incarcerate you. 
Social Worker: You're not from around here are you? 
Willie: I'm suppose to trust you? 
Fraser: Well I think you know you can. 
Willie: Look. All I know about cops is all they want to do is just put you away. 
Fraser: All right. Ray I think we've done all we can here. 
Vecchio: Yeah the kid's born mean. 
Willie: Hey-hey-hey wait a minute. You're not going to offer me some kind of deal or something? 
Fraser: No. All I can give you is my word that I'll do my best for you. 
Social Worker: Not good enough. 
Willie: She said it. 
Fraser: I understand. Ray? 
Vecchio: Too bad kid. 
[exit room] 
Vecchio: Good, let him sweat. Punk'll crack in twenty minutes. 
Fraser: He's scared but he's a pretty tough kid. I don't think he'll respond to threats. 
Huey: Nice job Vecchio. 
Vecchio: Is that a compliment Jack or do my ears deceive me. 
Huey: Oh don't be so hard on yourself, Ray. Sooner or later you have to solve one case. Did your Mountie friend help you? 
Fraser: Benton Fraser, Deputy Liaison Officer. 
Louis: Jack Huey, Louis Gardino, actual detective. 
Vecchio: Or as we call them, Huey and Lewie. 
Louis: It's Louis, Vecchio and I don't like your mouth. 
Vecchio: Touchy Lewie. 
Louis: You want to see touchy? 
Vecchio: Yeah, I do. 
Huey: Easy fellas. If you'll excuse us fellas. Gardino and I have a suspect to interrogate. Thank you. 
Vecchio: Hey Jack that's my pinch. You talk to this kid without me and I'll take it to the Lt. 
Jack: Sure, Ray, if you think your record will support that. Go ahead. 
Vecchio: Are you maligning my record, Jack? 
Fraser: Ray, we're on the same team. These men are highly skilled investigators. I'm sure if they need our help, they'll ask. 
Louis: Oh, absolutely. 
Huey: Absolutely. 
Vecchio: How could you do that? How could you turn my case over to them? 
Fraser: The lunch room is this way? 
Vecchio: Do you know how many times an offender falls right into your lap? How many times do you think that happens, huh, Fraser? How many?!?! 
Vecchio: You know what your problem is? You think if you're nice to people, people will be nice to you. 
[in lunch room] 
Vecchio: You make this or scrape it off the street? 
Vending Guy: Salmon, right? 
Fraser: Thank you, Hugo. 
Vecchio: You know maybe up in the Arctic Circle you cooperate with your cop buddies, I mean, who's going to fight over ice, right? 
Fraser: Well, actually there was an incident once-- 
Vecchio: I don't want to hear it. Down here you make you're own case or you turn into a bicycle cop. And how do you know his name? 
Fraser: It's written on his shirt. 
Vecchio: This is what's wrong with you! You don't know what's important and what's not. The name of the vending machine guy is not important. This is a detail you do not need to record. You want to record a detail? Try this. That was my case. 
[outside interrogation room] 
Huey: Okay. The kid said he'd only talk to the guy in the hat. Could you? 
Fraser: Thank you kindly. 
Vecchio: I'm with the guy in the hat, fellas, you're not. 
[interrogation room] 
Willie: I told you I didn't shoot nobody. I never even saw the gun before yesterday. 
Fraser: Where did you see it? 
Willie: Someplace. 
Vecchio: Like your pocket. 
Social Worker: Interview is over. 
Fraser: I'm sorry. May I? Why don't you tell us how you found it, Willie? 
Willie: I was on my way home from school? 
Ray clears throat. 
Willie: okay, the track. And I see this lady come out of this building on Michigan Avenue. 
Vecchio: You got a number on that building. 
Willie: Oh yeah right. I wrote it down on my lap top. Well anyway, she goes down this alley and there's no one around and her bag is just hanging there so I grab it and took off. I get away, find the gun in the bag, end of story. 
Vecchio: 'Fraid not Tolstoy. You see, you happen to steal a bag that happens to have a gun in it which happens to have been used in commission of a robbery. 
Willie: So I had a bad day. 
Vecchio: Tell me something I don't know. 
Fraser: This woman. Can you describe her? 
Willie: Depends. Can you get me out of here? Right-right I know, you'll do your best. 
[Welsh's office] 
Huey: No way. No way is that kid going to walk. 
Louis: Lt. we have his prints on the gun and it was in his procession. 
Vecchio: The kid's a pick pocket. He could have gotten the gun anywhere. Your eye witness can't even place him at the scene, Lewis. 
Louis: One of the offenders matches his height and frame, Ray. 
Vecchio: Oh yeah, you're right, why try to find who did it when you can blame the nearest twelve year old. I know a toddler who you can arrest for assault. 
Louis: That's enough. You and me on the roof. 
Welsh: Waoh-ho-o- easy now. 
*** 
Welsh: Detective Vecchio, I could have sworn I specifically assigned this case to Detective Huey and Detective Gardino. 
Louis: That's right Lt. Our case our call. 
Welsh: Shut up Louie. 
Louis: It's Louis sir. 
Vecchio: Lieutenant? Could I help it if the kid'll only talk to a Mountie? 
Welsh: Ah yes. The Mountie. I thought they sent you back up to the Yukon? 
Fraser: Well they did, sir. And then they sent me back here again. I'm afraid I'm not at all that well liked up there, sir. 
Welsh: By up there you mean... 
Fraser: Pretty much all of Canada, sir. 
Welsh: Hmm, the wolf isn't involved in this is it? 
Vecchio: Only porifically, sir. 
Fraser: Permission to speak freely, sir? 
Welsh: This I like. Permission to speak freely. Go ahead young man. 
Fraser: Leftenant, Willie Lambert is a petty thief. If he'd stolen a million dollars in bearer bonds, he'd hardly be on the streets the next morning stealing purses. 
Welsh: Good reason. Louie? 
Louis: Maybe some of the bigger kids took it away from him. How could I know. 
Fraser: He says he found the gun in a brief case he stole. He can identify its owner. 
Vecchio: We've got him out there right now sir putting together a composite. 
Huey: Lt. you let that kid walk out of here you'll never see him again. 
Welsh: Are you willing to take responsibility for him? 
Vecchio: Personally? You see that's the problem sir, in that you know, I date a lot. 
Welsh: Huey and Louie get him. 
Louis: Good call Lt. 
Fraser: I'll take responsibility sir. 
Welsh: You want him? 
Vecchio: It's a Mountie thing sir. Two more points and he gets to go camping. 
Welsh: All right. You got him. 
Louis: Wait a minute, Lt. You gotta-- 
Fraser: Thank you sir. 
Welsh: One more thing. If you lose him, Vecchio loses his shield. 
Fraser: That's perfectly reasonable sir. 
[at Elaine's desk] 
Vecchio: Do you know who this is? This is Heather Lockley. The kid is yanking our chain. 
Willie: Hey-hey wait a minute. I saw her for two seconds. You try to draw one of these things. 
Elaine: I'll run it through VI-CAP see if I can find a match. 
Fraser: Thanks, Elaine. 
Elaine: Want me to call you at home? 
Vecchio: My case, Elaine, me. Detective Vecchio. Police officer. You talk directly to me, okay? 
Elaine: But I should probably have the number just in case. 
Fraser: Oh, uh--I'm afraid I don't have-- 
Vecchio: He uses smoke signals. We'll call in. Willie? Come on, mush. 
*** 
Vecchio: What? They don't have women in the Yukon? 
Fraser: Certainly. It's just they're not quite so ... uh ... 
Female Cop: Like your dog. 
Fraser: He's white. 
Vecchio: Oh very smooth. 
Female Cop: Call me. 
Vecchio: Get out. And you, get out. Call me. You throw out a lame line like that and she says, 'Call me.' 
[On the street] 
Vecchio: Oh, yeah this is going to be fun. [Willie takes off, gets on a bus] Stop that kid. [to Fraser] We lost the little creep. We lost him. 
Fraser: He'll be back. 
[Willie gets off the bus with Dief] 
Willie: Can I just say I really appreciate the trust you placed in me. 
Vecchio: Yeah, right. 
Willie: My sister was on that bus. I just wanted to tell her I wouldn't be in school for a while. 
Vecchio: You've got one more chance kid. One. 
Willie: Okay-okay. You want evidence, I'll show you lots of evidence. Gee. 
[Alley] 
Vecchio: So where is it? 
Willie: It should be here. I dropped it around here somewhere. 
Fraser: Nothing fits the description, Willie. 
Willie: Man, maybe it was stolen or something. 
Vecchio: Again? 
Willie: Maybe you noticed this isn't the best neighborhood, cop. 
Vecchio: This kid is making me angry. 
Fraser: What have you got? 
Vecchio: Why does this have to be my life? Mounties. Dogs. 
Fraser: Come on Ray. 
Vecchio: We're coming we're coming. You hook up the sled. 
[further down alley] 
Lady: Say ah. Yeah. Is your dog? 
Fraser: Yes ma'am. 
Lady: Nice dog. Good listener. 
*** 
Lady: Hey-hey. 
Fraser: Actually he's deaf. 
Lady: Nice doggy. 
Vecchio: Okay-okay, so what have we got? 
Willie: There it is. 
Fraser: Uh, Ray, this is uh-- 
Vecchio: Enough with the names. Police. Give me the bag. 
Lady: Oh come on! 
Lady: Help! 
Fraser: Ray. 
Fraser: Excuse me ma'am. That brief case is needed in a criminal investigation. We'd be most appreciative of your cooperation. 
Lady: Fifty bucks. 
Fraser: Ray. 
Vecchio: I'm not giving her fifty bucks. 
Fraser: Well I'm afraid all I can give you is five. 
Lady: Why this money is blue? 
Fraser: It's Canadian. 
Lady: I am not. 
Vecchio: All right. All right. Give me the bag. 
Fraser: Thank you ma'am. 
Vecchio: Don't look like bonds to me. 
Willie: What? 
[Morgan watching from her car] 
Morgan: I found the kid, now I don't think you want to do that right now. He's with some cops. and they found your phony bonds. Hey quit whining I'm the one he can identify. I said I'd take care of him and I will. Just you make sure my share doesn't disappear or I'll take care of you. Understood? 
[Willie's apartment] 
Vecchio: I'm warning you, Willie, I'm not taking anymore of you. If I find a bond in here kid, you're going ways for this. 
Willie: I didn't take no stupid bonds. I don't even know what a bond is. 
Fraser: there wasn't anything else in the bag. Certificates with seals on them? 
Willie: On my sister's life. And I do have a sister. 
Vecchio: Oh yeah, so where is she? 
Willie: Around. 
Fraser: Is she the one who does the shopping? 
Willie: She's been busy, okay? So you two go home, get some rest and we'll start fresh in the morning. Okay? 
Fraser: He can't stay here. 
Vecchio: Well he's not staying at my place. 
Fraser: Can you make a bed? 
Willie: You mean, out of twigs? 
[Fraser's apartment] 
Willie: Satisfied? 
Fraser: Couldn't have done better myself. 
Willie: Wow. So I took out the trash, washed the walls and made the bed eight thousand times. What's next. Maneuvers? 
Fraser: Here. 
Willie: For what? 
Fraser: You earned it. 
Willie: Yeah? 
Fraser: Yeah. 
Fraser: Goodnight Diefenbaker. 
Willie: Fraser? You know crack dealers are even afraid to come into this neighborhood? 
Fraser: Goodnight Willie. 
Willie: Fraser? 
Fraser? Uh huh? 
Willie: Why is this money pink? 
Fraser: Goodnight Willie. 
Willie: Goodnight. 
[Ray's car] 
Elaine: Her name's Carol Morgan alias Morgan Thomas. 
Vecchio: Whoa-whoa-whoa, Elaine. Is that a definite make? 
Elaine: According to the FBI. Is Fraser with you? 
Vecchio: Fraser doesn't work there, Elaine, I do. Now about the suspect. 
Elaine: Armed robbery, three arrests, one conviction all in Florida. 
Vecchio: Long way to come to steal blank paper. 
Fraser: Indeed. 
Elaine: Fraser? Is that you? 
Fraser: You better stay here. 
Vecchio: You can't leave him in the car. 
Fraser: He'll be fine. 
Willie: Absolutely. 
Fraser: Dief. Dief. Stay. 
Willie: Shoo. 
*** 
Fraser: After you sir. After you. 
Vecchio: Do all Canadians grow up longing to be doormen, because this does explain the uniform. 
Fraser: Why five o'clock? 
Vecchio: Sorry? 
Fraser: Why pick the busiest time of the day to stage a robbery. 
Vecchio: So you can disappear into the crowd. 
Fraser: Still you think of all the potential witnesses, the difficulty of making a get away. 
Vecchio: Can we talk about this inside? 
Fraser: Oh, certainly. 
Vecchio: Why not. After you. Oh please, after you. Anybody else? 
[Hamlin's office] 
Vecchio: You recognize this Mr. Hamlin? 
Hamlin: This could be it but it's hard to say. Every financial firm in this city uses these. 
Vecchio: Could you have made a mistake. Handed the thief the wrong portfolio? 
Hamlin: Huh, don't I wish. But the auditors have combed this place from top to bottom. If the bonds were still here they'd have found them. Is he? 
Fraser: Observing. 
Vecchio: He's very thorough. 
Hamlin: So I see. 
*** 
Willie: Now I'm just going to go for a little walk. Okay-okay. Geeze. 
*** 
Hamlin: Well perhaps the thief handed the bonds off to an accomplice. Or maybe the bag you found wasn't even hers? 
Fraser: It's a possibility. Thanks for your help. 
Hamlin: Anything I can do. 
[in hall] 
Vecchio: He is in on it. 
Fraser: Yes. 
Vecchio: Don't ask me how I know, but I know. 
Vecchio: How do you know? 
Fraser: Same way you do. 
Vecchio: I guessed. 
Fraser: Oh. 
Ray; What do you mean, Oh? How do you know? You stick a wet finger in the air and you decide he was a thief? 
Fraser: No-no. From that all I can tell is they have a malfunction in the ventilating system. 
[to repairman on ladder] 
Fraser: Pardon me, you have a broken cooling vent in suite B[the to Ray] It's of no importance, Ray. 
Vecchio: So? 
Fraser: He told us. He referred to the thief as her. 
Vecchio: And before he said they were all men as did the other witnesses so the only way he could know is if he was in on it. 
Fraser: Exactly. 
Vecchio: Well, exactly. 
*** 
Willie: See? We could take a walk in the park. I mean, it's a beautiful day. Oh, man you're a real pain, you know that? 
Bad guy: Come on. Come on. Come on, open the door.[breaks window of Riv while Willie is hot wiring the Riv] 
*** 
Vecchio: So the robbery had to be a cover. The thieves never had the bonds. Hamlin stole them. 
Fraser: My question is: How did Hamlin get the bonds out of the office and where are they? Per the accountant, the bonds were still in the vault before four p.m. 
Vecchio: And we know this because? 
Fraser: Because he signed the log in the vault and Hamlin never left the office all day. 
Vecchio: So the accountant took them. 
Fraser: No, everyone is checked by security upon leaving. 
Vecchio: Huh. So the question is: How did Hamlin get the bonds out and where are they? 
Fraser: Uh huh. 
[breaks front window] 
Bad guys: Come on. Come on. Get the dog. Come on, shoot the dog, shoot the dog. 
Fraser: Ray! 
Willie drives off just as the song It's All Over Now by the Headstones and Ray running after them] 
Vecchio: Fraser! 
Fraser: Be right there. 
Vecchio: Hey! 
[Fraser shows up with a carriage, Ray jumps on] 
Fraser: Oh, uh, hop up. 
Vecchio: Go-go-go! Good to see you Benny. 
Fraser: Good to see you Ray. 
Fraser: He-Yah! He-Yah! 
Vecchio: Through the park. 
Fraser: You got it Ray. 
Vecchio: Police! Police! Get out of the way. Get out of the way. 
Fraser: Sorry. He-Yah! 
Vecchio: Coming through. Coming through. Look out. Look out. 
Fraser: He-Yah! Sorry. Sorry-sorry-he-yah! 
Bad Guy: Go-go! 
Fraser: Whoa-whoa-whoa! 
[Ray runs to Riv, looks in, no Willie] 
Vecchio: Damn! 
[Song ends] 
[Welsh's office] 
Vecchio: So he yanks on the reins, the horses rear up, the car swerves, it takes off, it really was amazing, sir. 
Welsh: Sounds it. And how bout our witness? 
Vecchio: Oh, uh, yes, he uh what he did was he-- 
Fraser: He ran away. 
Vecchio: More or less, yes. 
Welsh: Mmm, what a shame. 
Vecchio: No one is more chagrin then myself sir. 
Huey: We got there too late, Hamlin is gone. 
Welsh: One disappointment after another. Perhaps if you had thought to call in before you went cantering through the park but these judgement calls are so difficult to make. 
Vecchio: Ah yes that's true sir. You really had to be there. 
Welsh: Would five o'clock be enough time to clear out your desk? I mean I don't want to rush you but uh we could use that space for actual police work. 
Vecchio: Five o'clock would be-- 
Fraser: Rush hour. 
Vecchio: Uh, he's just now picking these things up sir. 
Fraser: It has nothing to do with rush hour. 
Vecchio: No it just gives me enough time to pack. 
Fraser: Permission to leave sir. 
Welsh: Oh, yes. 
Vecchio: I better look after him sir. 
[Ray's desk] 
Fraser: Hamlin couldn't have taken the bonds out himself and he couldn't risk the bonds being missed. So they had to remain in the vault until just before the robbery. 
Vecchio: But if he was in on it why didn't he let the robbers take the bonds? 
Fraser: You know Ray, When I was a young man, my father told me one thing to always remember about thieves. Well, actually he told me two things, but I've forgotten the other one. Anyway, the important one is that despite the adage, you will rarely find honor among thieves. 
Vecchio: You can't remember the other one? 
Fraser: It was something about tying a wallet to your underwear. I was very young at the time. Anyway, the point is if they took the money during the robbery, then Hamlin would have to trust them to give him his share. 
Vecchio: And they don't look like trustworthy types. 
Fraser: Indeed, so he had to get them out just before the robbery but do it without drawing attention to himself. It would have to be a normal occurrence. Something that happened everyday just before five o'clock. 
Vecchio: The courier! That is so stupid. 
Fraser: It's simple. 
Vecchio: So he sent them to himself. 
Fraser: No to easy to trace. 
Vecchio: To the woman. 
Fraser: Doesn't trust her. 
Vecchio: To who then? 
Fraser: Maybe no one. 
Fraser: A fake name. A fake address, no way to trace it. 
Vecchio: Which means the package would end up back at -- 
Fraser: The depot. 
Vecchio: Exactly. 
Fraser: Which means-- 
Vecchio: I'm going the wrong way. hang on. 
[sirens] 
[Post office] 
P.O. Clerk: Okay miss can I help You? 
Morgan: My cut remember? Split that up right now. 
P.O.Clerk: It's your package. 
Lady: It isn't wrapped in butchers paper. My sister always uses butchers paper. 
P.O. Clerk: It's your package. 
Lady: Are you sure this is the right package? I don't think it's my package. 
Morgan: Take the package lady. 
P.O. Clerk: How can I help you? 
P.O. Clerk: Sign please. 
[bad guys over the counter] 
Vecchio: Which way-which way? 
[Ray over the counter] 
Morgan: Find him! 
Fraser: Uh, I'm here on an unofficial capacity. Do you mind if I? 
[Fraser over the counter] 
P.O. Clerk: Not at all. 
[Morgan dumps boxes onto Hamlin. Fraser ties him up] 
Fraser: Watch this guy. Dief. Stay. 
[Ray and bad guy on conveyor, fight, Fraser pulls bad guy off, Morgan running with bonds, drops part of them] 
Morgan: Lose it. 
*** 
Morgan: Don't move Boy Scout. Back right off. 
Fraser: You all right Ray? 
Vecchio: I'm well Fraser and you? 
Morgan: Dead in your tracks right there. Take out the gun and drop it on the floor. 
Vecchio: Don't do it Fraser, Take the shot. 
Fraser: I'm afraid I'm not carrying a gun. 
Morgan: Drop the gun. 
Fraser: I honestly don't have one. 
Vecchio: Sharp shooter first class. He can take the head off a pin. 
Fraser: He's right about that. 
Vecchio: Drop it or he takes you out. 
Fraser: I would if I had a gun, Ray. 
Morgan: Show me the gun! 
Fraser: Well, we'd have to go back to my office. I do have this knife. 
Vecchio: Oh, that's good Benny. Threaten her with camping utensils. 
Fraser: Can't afford to bluff Ray. She's already shot one person. 
Morgan: Drop it on the floor-drop it. The belt too. 
Fraser: Are you sure you've thought this through Ma'am? 
Morgan: Move over here slow. And pick up the bonds. 
Fraser: I don't think you want me to do that. 
Morgan: Pick them up. 
Fraser: All right. But it's a mistake. [picking them up] You see a bond is a bankable note. It's an instrument of trust between two people indicating a public promise that must be honored. Much like a promise I made to uphold the law. So you see the problem is now that I have the bonds in my hands I'm honor bound not to give them to you. 
Vecchio: Give her the bonds, Fraser. 
Fraser: I can't do that Ray. 
Morgan: You got three seconds and I shoot him! One. 
Fraser: I'm sorry Ray. 
Vecchio: What do you mean sorry? 
Morgan: Two. 
Ray; Give her the damn bonds. 
Fraser: Can't do it. I'm walking out of here with them. 
Morgan: That's it. He's dead. 
[Fraser turns and walks away] 
Fraser: Sorry to hear that. 
Vecchio: Fraser! 
Morgan: Three! [bang!] 
[Ray wrestles her to the ground] 
[Ray standing over Fraser] 
Fraser: She shot my hat, Ray. 
Vecchio: She shot you in the hat? 
Fraser: I can feel air coming in through the hole. 
Vecchio: She shot you in the hat, all right. 
Fraser: How does it look? 
Vecchio: Doesn't look good. 
Fraser: We'll have to go home and get my other one. 
Vecchio: We can do that, Fraser. 
Fraser: Thanks, Ray. 
[Ray helps him up] 
[walking through the building] 
Vecchio: All I'm saying is in the future it's a good idea that you don't suggest somebody shoot me. 
Fraser: Well I didn't want to Ray but it was necessary in order to enrage her. 
Vecchio: You wanted to enrage the person that had a gun to my neck, that was your strategy? 
Fraser: I knew that if I kept at it, eventually I'd draw her fire and you'd get your shot and I knew you'd trust me. 
Vecchio: But I didn't. 
Fraser: Yes you did. 
Vecchio: No, I didn't. 
Fraser: Yes. You did. 
Vecchio: No. I didn't. 
Fraser: Well of course you did. Maybe you just weren't fully aware of it. 
Vecchio: I was very aware of my feelings toward you, Fraser. 
Fraser: Well, if you didn't know what I was planning, then why'd you play along? 
Vecchio: I wasn't playing along. I was begging for my life! 
Fraser: Oh. Oh. Well. Uh, my mistake. 
Vecchio: Mistake? You coulda gotten me killed. 
Fraser: Well no, I'd never allow that. You're my friend. You're my best friend I'd have to say. 
Vecchio: I am? Hey! Exactly how many best friends have you had? 
[27th precinct] 
Vecchio: Elaine you should have seen me. So I land on the conveyor belt and this guy he jumps on my back and then suddenly-- 
Elaine: Fraser saves you. 
Vecchio: No-no, I flipped the guy off. but then he grabs a crowbar right? And he swings it at my- 
Elaine: Fraser grabs it. 
Vecchio: No, I duck and then out of nowhere-- 
Elaine: Fraser appears. 
Vecchio: Did you know that he pins his wallet to his underwear? 
Elaine: Cool. 
Fraser: Well, actually I was very young and the underwear was rather long and I . . . Ray? 
Elaine: Okay. 
[Ray's desk] 
Vecchio: Lt. you see I was gonna clean that out but --Willie! 
Welsh: He said you told him if he gets lost he should come here. 
Vecchio: Anybody can get lost right? 
Welsh: Yeah. You win kid. 
*** 
Welsh: Oh Vecchio, good work. 
Vecchio: He came back! 
Willie: If I didn't you woulda got it trouble, right? 
Vecchio: Right. 
Willie: I figure that's worth a twenty. 
Ray; No question about it. 
[outside Fraser's apartment] 
Fraser: All right you come over feed and walk him twice a day and I'll take him out again when I get home at night. Deal? 
Willie: Deal. 
Fraser: It's twenty five dollars a week as long as you stay in school. 
Willie: Wait a minute that uh -- 
Fraser: I know, I know, I'm sorry. Ray, would you mind? 
Vecchio: Here, take the wallet, just give me an allowance. 
Fraser: There you go. 
Willie: Come on Dief. 
[in car] 
Vecchio: You can't keep doing this you know. 
Fraser: What's that? 
Vecchio: Romping through the streets of Chicago rescuing widows and orphans as you may. 
Fraser: It's just one kid, Ray. 
Vecchio: You're not in a small town anymore you can't rescue everyone you meet. 
Fraser: No. I understand. 
Street Person: Hey Fraser! Thanks for the boots! 
Fraser: Glad they fit, Gerome. 

End of Free Willie
 
 
 
 
 
 

Diefenbaker's Day Off

[Dief lying on the rug, Fraser is getting ready for work.] 
Fraser: Now before I go to work, there's something we have to discuss. We are no longer in the Yukon. This is a big city and you can't just run around freely anymore. Like it or not you need a license. And I can't seem to get a license for a wolf. I've tried but they just don't issue them. Additionally they have something here called Animal Control Officers whos specific job it is to take unattended animals off the street. No. No. You can't take that attitude. These are hard working civic employees who perform a fine service for the community and for the animals themselves. [Dief barks and whines at him] All right, occasionally they put them to sleep but that's neither here nor there. The point is until we can work this out you have to stay in the apartment while I'm gone. So it's agreed. [Dief barks and whines] Good. I'll see you after work. 
[in the hall Fraser stops and peeks through the key hole at Dief who is still in same spot] 
Fraser: Morning Mr. Mustaffi.[slam] Mr. Campbell.[slam] Good morning Mrs. Garcia. [slam] [to woman with her hands full of bag and baby] Oh . . . may I help you? 
Woman: Sure. 
Fraser: Oh! Very unhappy. Come on. Okay let's go. This floor is it? 
[two floors up] 
Charlie: Come on Sweetie, I'm gonna be late. 
Lucy: Please can I go with you? 
Charlie: I already told you, daddy's got to go to work today. 
Lucy: I'll be very quiet. 
Charlie: I know you will but you got school. Hey, who's the toughest guy in the whole wide world. 
Lucy: You are. 
Charlie: And who can stop me from coming home to you? 
Lucy: Nobody. 
Charlie: And what would I do it someone tried? 
Lucy: Upper cut. Hook. Hook on the eyes. 
Charlie: That's right. Now you got your lunch all packed. Now do you promise to wait upstairs until the bus comes. I'll see you tonight, killer. 
Fraser: Good morning Lucy. 
Lucy: You know my name? 
Fraser: All the pretty girls are named Lucy. 
Lucy: It's on my lunch box. 
Fraser: Ah! you found me out. 
Lucy: Are you a police man? 
Fraser: Well yes I am but in Canada and the Consulate where I work. But outside the consulate I'm not. Unless I'm in Canada. That's not very clear. Um. Do you know what a Liaison Officer is? No of course you don't. Liaison Officer is, uh. . . 
Lucy: Policeman help people, right? 
Fraser: Well yes, we try. 
Lucy: Can you help my dad? He keeps on hurting himself. 
Fraser: He does? Where is he? 
Lucy: That's him. 
Fraser: What's his name? 
Lucy: Dad. 
Fraser: Well yes it would be. You know actually I'm on my way to work right now. You know what? I can spare you a few minutes. 
Lucy: You'll help him? 
Fraser: I'll help him. 
Lucy: Thanks. 
[Dief went out the window and is now roaming] 
Lady on Street: Hello Whitie. Want your cookie? 
[on the street] 
Charlie: What are you doing? 
Fraser: I'm sorry. Benton Fraser, RMCP. 
Charlie: You're a Mountie? 
Fraser: Yes. 
Charlie: Where'd you come from? 
Fraser: Apartment 3-J. You all right? 
Charlie: Yeah. Yeah sure. I'm fine. Guess I should watch what I'm doing. 
Fraser: Stop, look, listen. It's a simple motto but one worth adhering to. 
Charlie: All right I gotta go. Thanks huh. 
Fraser: Perhaps we can talk again another time. 
*** 
Fraser: Morning. 
[screech of tires and thump of a body] 
Driver: He stepped right in front of me. I couldn't stop. 
[Harper Medical Clinic] 
Fraser: Harper Medical Clinic? Now you sure about this because I can have you in an emergency room in less than-- 
Charlie: I wanna see my own doctor. Dr. Howard. 
Nurse: Right this way. 
Doc: Constable Fraser. I hear you're quite the good Samaritan I didn't know we had any left in this town. 
Fraser: Well, I'm sure anyone of his neighbors would have done the same. 
Doc: Yeah. Well, Mr. Pike has suffered considerable soft tissue damage but none of his injuries are life threatening. 
Fraser: Thank you. Oh excuse me Dr. Howard. Is there any medical reason why Charlie might be prone to accidents? Perhaps an inner ear imbalance resulting from an old boxing injury? 
Doc: How did you know Charlie was a boxer? 
Fraser: Well his nose cartilage has been reduced by almost 80% and his left eye socket is raised about a half a centimeter above the right indicating a slight shift in the cranial plates. 
Doc: Where did you study? 
Fraser: The Inuvik public library. My grandparents were librarians. 
Doc: You're kidding. 
Fraser: No. 
Doc: Well you're quite correct. Uh judging from today perhaps Charlie's taken one to many blows to the head. 
Fraser: I see. Will you be releasing him soon? 
Doc: There's no concussion, he should be home by this afternoon. 
Fraser: And the bill? 
Doc: Well you must have inspired me Constable. This ones on me. 
Unlucky Driver: I just hit a guy. Look I know you have rules but cant' you just tell me if he's okay? 
Nurse: Just a moment. 
Fraser: Pardon me, is there a pay phone? 
Nurse: Down there. 
Fraser: Thank you kindly. Sorry. 
Nurse: I told you sir, if you'll just leave you name and phone number someone will contact you. 
[bar] 
Vecchio: Cranberry club soda, wedge of lemon. 
Bartender: Sure you can handle that? 
Vecchio: What are you a comedian? [phone rings] Ma, I can't talk I'm on a stake out. 
Fraser: Uh, Ray? 
Vecchio: Benny. Benny you gotta get down here right away. The Bears are finally kicking some butt. 
Fraser: Ray I need your help with something. I'm having a bit of a problem getting a license for Diefenbaker and I'm not sure if it's because he's a wolf or just because he's deaf. 
Vecchio: Yes! Yes! 
Fraser: Then you think you can help me? 
Vecchio: What? 
Fraser: With the license. Of course I wouldn't want you to use your influence unduly. 
Vecchio: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure-sure-sure-sure. Just leave it to me. 
Fraser: Okay. Uh, Miss! Thanks Ray. Miss! Miss! 
[parking lot] 
Fraser: Excu -- oh-oh, I'm sorry I didn't mean to--I didn't mean to-- 
King: Are you following me? 
Fraser: No. Well, yes, I am but I'm not trying to-- 
King: I think men who skulk around after women are the lowest scum of the earth, don't you? 
Fraser: Well, yes I-I suppose-suppose they are but I'm- you see I'm-I'm- 
King: How did you know where to bring him? 
Fraser: You mean Charlie? 
King: Friend of yours is he? 
Fraser: Uh, no. No I just met him at the accident sight. Well at the accident sight before that. 
King: So you do that a lot? 
Fraser: By thins you mean? 
King: Would you spell your name for me? 
Fraser: Uh, certainly. B-e-n-t-o- 
King: You're a very interesting person, Bento. I'd like to see more of you. 
Fraser: Um, no that's Benton. Benton Fraser. 
King: How bout dinner tonight. 
Fraser: Dinner. Well I'd love to but-but I-I have a dog. 
King: Got a good suit? 
Fraser: Two actually. 
King: Lakeshore Room eight o'clock. Wear the suit, leave the dog. 
Fraser: Oh dear. 
[newsroom] 
Warren: McKenzie Kings desk. No she's not. Call back. McKenzie Kings desk. 
King: I got the story Warren. I got it. You're sweating on my phone. Hey, call back. Any massages? 
Warren: I send you on a press conference you come back with x-rays. Why am I confused. 
King: Take a look at these obituaries. James T. Ryan. Carlos Escobar, Lewis Mendowski. What do they all have in common. 
Warren: None of them covered the press conference? 
King: All dead prize fighters, Warren. All died in automobile accidents in the last eight months. All the death certificates signed by the same doctor. And if you think that doesn't stink, take a whiff of this. There's a Mountie involved. 
Warren: A what? 
King: Honest to God! Big hat, sweet little grin, crooked as they come. 
Warren: A crooked Mountie? You're bringing me a crooked Mountie? Look-look Mackenzie. I know you hate cops. All of Chicago knows you hate cops. But I am not printing any more retractions. You-you keep making accusations about police corruption and you can't prove you're gonna get yourself suspended again. 
King: Hey, I screwed up last time. Look it changed me. I spent three months in a dark apartment Warren. A Persian cat under one arm and a tub of Cherries Swirl in the other. I've been to hell and back in a flannel nightgown Warren and so help me God I will never wear flannel again. This time, I nail them dirty. Tonight, eight o'clock his little Canadian butt is mine. 
King: Could you get that? Thanks. 
[Dief heads home, Fraser heads home] 
Fraser: Evening Mrs. Garcia.[slam] How are you tonight. Evening Mrs. Campbell.[slam] [to Dief] I brought you supper. Oh you know I was hoping to uh be able to spend some time with you this evening but you see uh I have a dinner engagement with a very nice woman that I met in a parking lot. And I can't cancel it because I don't know her phone number. Or her name for that matter. No it's not what you're thinking. It isn't. And you know something? I-I-I don't appreciate your attitude. You're very judgmental. Just because you were right once does not make you infallible. I am perfectly capable of handling myself in any situation. I am. I am a Mountie. [Puts milk in the cabinet, not the fridge][gets ready to meet King to the tune of American Woman] 
[Lake Shore Room] 
Manager: Lake Shore Room. 
Fraser: Excuse me has a ... 
Matre'd: Woman called to say she'd be late? No. 
Fraser: You're sure because it's uh, ten after eight. 
Matre'd: This would be the woman with no name? 
Fraser: Well, I'm sure she has a name, I'm just not sure what...I'll keep waiting. 
[Fraser holds door for couple] 
Wife: That was an absolutely wonderful meal. 
Husband: Careful where you step, darling. 
Wife: Good evening. 
Husband: Thank you young man.[tips Fraser] 
King: Been waiting long? 
Fraser: actually yes but I seem to have profited by - may I just say you look - 
King: thanks. That's your good suit? 
Fraser: Oh, I knew I should've worn the other one. You know if-if we have a couple of minutes I could run home right now. 
King: No you're fine. A little red. 
Fraser: Um, this is for you. 
King: A wrist corsage? 
Fraser: Well, actually two. 
King: You want me to wear them on both wrists? 
Fraser: I forgot to ask what color of dress you'd be wearing. 
King: Reservations for two. MacKenzie King. 
Matre'd: Right this way Miss King. 
Fraser; Your name, you wouldn't be related to- 
King: No. 
Fraser: No. Of course you wouldn't. 
King: So you live in the same building. You and Charlie you started talking. 
Fraser: Well actually his daughter asked me to help him. 
King: The way she looked at you, you just couldn't refuse. 
Fraser: Well she had these sad eyes. 
King: Don't they all. 
Fraser: Do you mind if I uh- 
King: Go for it. You and Charlie make quite the team. 
Fraser: By-by team you mean? 
King: He falls under cars, you save him. 
Fraser: Well he does seem to have a few- 
King: How much do you make? 
Fraser: Me? Well it's in Canadian funds so you have to deduct thirty-eight percent but uh- 
King: Enough. 
Fraser; About myself. Absolutely. Consulate work is pretty dull. Although there was this one passport case- 
King: Wait a minute. You work at the Consulate? 
Fraser: Why yes. That's why I'm paid in Canadian Funds. It's some - It's an odd governmental regulation. 
King: So now you're denying you work with Charlie? 
Fraser: With Charlie? No. No I could never be a professional boxer. I mean in high school I- 
King; I saw you bring him in. Are you telling me you don't feed patients to the clinic? You're not involved in this million dollar insurance scam? You're just this straight arrow, do goody Mountie out to help the little guy? Tell me why I find that hard to believe. 
Fraser: Well I understand your skepticism. Appearances can be deceiving. For example, you're a nurse yet you wear extremely high heels to work which indicate you either haven't been there very long or you have remarkable arches. Also the way you hold your wrists suggests that you spend many hours at a computer keyboard and add to that the slight crook in your neck which indicates extended phone usage and minuet traces of printers ink underneath your three quarter's inch nails which by the way must make bandaging quite a challenge. A less trusting person might assume that you weren't a nurse at all. A less trusting person might assume that you work, say, for a newspaper. But then appearances can be deceiving. 
King: and you've known this since? 
Fraser: The parking lot. Also you should check your tape recorder. I think either your batteries is leaking or you've spilled some liquid into the motor. From the smell of it I'd have to say it's mace. 
King: so you just came along for the free meal and the amusement of watching me make a fool out of myself? 
Fraser: No. No I think Charlie is in trouble and I thought maybe you could tell me something that would help. 
King: You're trying to get information from me? Forget it! 
Fraser: I understand. You've already been of great help. 
King: I've no appetite all of a sudden. 
Fraser: Can I at least walk you home? 
King: Walk me home? He wants to walk me home. 
Fraser: Well, I thought it was expected 
King: Oh yeah? What else did you expect. 
Fraser: Well, nothing, I mean, I don't know 
King: You want to do something for me? You get Charlie to talk to me on the record. 
Fraser: If Charlie is in trouble what he needs is help not an interview. 
King: Then all you're getting out of this date is the check. 
[Fraser is handed the check] 
Fraser: I--do you happen to know the current exchange rate? 
[to couple on the street] Fraser: Good evening. 
[Fraser's building, in the hall] 
Charlie: I told you it ain't enough. I cannot live on what you bastards pay me. 
Bab Guy: Two hundred's what you agreed to. Two hundred's what you're going to get. 
Charlie: At Two hundred dollars I can't even pay my stinking rent. Listen. You want me to keep on taking dives you better make it worth my while. 
Bad Guy: You wouldn't be threatening me would you Charlie? Cause that wouldn't be healthy. 
Charlie: No. I'm not threatening you. But I have a child to support. 
Bad Guy: Not my problem and count yourself lucky. It doesn't take any skill to fall under a car. 
*** 
Fraser: Evening. 
Charlie: Hi ya. 
Fraser: Excuse me but I couldn't help over hearing that-- 
Charlie: You over heard that? You know something Pal? You better learn to mind your own business. 
Fraser: Well actually your daughter-- 
Charlie: You know nothing about me and you don't know anything about my daughter. So just back off. 
Fraser: I know you're in trouble and if I can, I'd like to help. 
Charlie: That's easy. Stay away from me and stay away from my daughter. 
*** 
Fraser: Hi. You know Lucy, your father...he has a good heart. He's a good man. 
Lucy: It's okay. I understand. Can't help everybody. 
Fraser: Lucy. I...uh... 
Lucy: It's like the doctors. They tried but they couldn't help my mom. It's ok. 
[27th precinct] 
Vecchio: Okay, I'm on the edge of my seat. What's this huge morale dilemma your carrying on your shoulders? 
Fraser: I've given my word to a girl. 
Vecchio: Fraser, you do not have to marry every girl you meet. 
Fraser: Oh no, its--she's a very young girl. 
Vecchio: Well then you do have a problem. 
Fraser: No, I mean she's a little girl Ray. She's six years old. She's very sweet. She's asked me to help her father. 
Vecchio: I can see you are making those minor adjustments to bring out the flavor Hugo. 
Hugo: Camomile, Right? 
Fraser: Thank you Hugo. Now I discover that her father is doing something illegal 
Vecchio: What's the dilemma, we bust him. 
Fraser: Then I'd be breaking my word to a little girl. 
Vecchio: And this gives you a problem? 
Fraser: Yes. 
Vecchio: Oh. 
Fraser: And if I don't turn him in I'm withholding evidence of a crime. 
Vecchio: Very good Benny. You can go to the head of the class. 
Fraser: So I've given it some thought and I've come up with the only-only logical solution. You have to arrest me. 
Vecchio: For what? 
Fraser: I can't tell you that. 
Vecchio: Well then I'm not gonna arrest you. 
Fraser: But you have to. 
Vecchio: Well I'm not. 
Fraser: You have to. 
Vecchio: Oh, I'm not. 
Fraser: You have to. 
Vecchio: Uh, this guy the dad, just how illegal is this activity he's involved in. 
Fraser: It's serious but he's not the one who's profiting from it. In fact he stands t lose more than he's made. 
Vecchio: So If you and I could get the bigger fish maybe we can let the little girls dad slide on this one. 
Fraser: Is this legal? 
Vecchio: Would I be offering it to you if it wasn't? Yes, it's legal! Now tell me everything you know. 
Fraser: You won't use it against the man in question? 
Vecchio: On my word as a transvestite. 
Fraser: What's that, Ray? 
Vecchio: It's a Chicago thing. 
Fraser: Ah. 
[outside a gym] 
Vecchio: Okay, so how you know the guy who paid Charlie's a fighter? 
Fraser: His wrists. They were completely hairless indicating he wears gloves that are tied tightly in a constant use. 
Vecchio: So we're tracking a guy with hairless wrists. 
Fraser: Also, the second knuckle of each hand is slightly lower than the others. His jaw clicks slightly when he spoke indicating a fractured mandible. And his eyes are shifted downward in a laterally in there sockets. This is caused no doubt by blows to the zygomatic arch. 
Vecchio: Okay, that I'll buy but how'd you know he worked out in this gym? 
Fraser: It was written on his T-shirt. 
Vecchio: You couldn't have said that in the first place? You had to go through the hairless wrists and the fractured mandibles? 
Fraser: I'm sorry, Ray. 
Vecchio: Aw, man. [Dief on street, animal control looking for him] 
[inside gym] 
Fraser: I don't see him. Perhaps if we gave out a description. 
Vecchio: Look, why don't you leave this to me. Ya see, I've been hanging out in joints like this since I was a kid. There's a certain way to talk to these types. 
Vecchio: What's it going to cost me to work out for a little while? 
Man: Maybe you life? 
Vecchio: Just give me a towel. 
[in ring, to his opponent] 
Vecchio: So I figure kill a guy or not sooner or later I gotta get back in the ring. Still I find it hard to make ends meet training all the time like this. How do you do it?[knocked out] 
[in ring with his opponent] Fraser: Now you'll have to refresh my memory on the American rules cause I know there's some subtle differences from ours. Ah, you see right there. That would have been disallowed under the Canadian system. As would have that. I wonder while we're boxing if you'd mind answering a few questions. Ah, now I believe that was my fault. 
*** 
Fraser: Approximately 6 feet tall. With a deviated mandible. And a noticeably fractured zygomatic arch. Oh. 
Boxer: Ow. 
Fraser: Sorry. 
Boxer: Your old man taught you how to box like that? 
Fraser: My grandmother actually. Although I'm beginning to suspect that the book she used was somewhat outdated. 
Manager: Spit. Not on the floor. 
Fraser: You were saying about Charlie? 
Manager: Yeah. I knew him. Used to train here until he gave it up last year. Bring his little girl when he couldn't get a sitter. 
Vecchio: But you haven't seen him since? 
Manager: 'Fraid not. Oh. 
Fraser: Yeah. 
Manager: I don't know. I heard he was in trouble that's all. Nothing strange at all about that. Lots of guys in here spend the summer in the joint. 
Fraser: Well if you hear anything else, we'd appreciated you giving Detective Vecchio a call. 
Manager: I got the card. 
Fraser: Thank you kindly. You're probably going to need this more than me. 
*** 
Vecchio: Your grandmother? 
Fraser: Yes. 
Vecchio: Think I can get a copy of that book? 
Fraser: He's in on it. 
Vecchio: Who? 
Fraser: The trainer. 
Vecchio: How do you know? 
Fraser: You'll get upset. 
Vecchio: No I won't just enlighten me as to how in a span of two minutes conversation, you figured out that this guys in on it. 
Fraser: You're sure. 
Vecchio: Yeah, I'm sure. 
Fraser: All right. Spittle. 
Vecchio: Spittle? 
Fraser: During the coarse of our conversation, he tried to spit several times but he couldn't because his mouth was too dry which would indicate that he's lying. 
Vecchio: So let me get this straight. This is what they do in the Yukon? They arrest everybody who doesn't drool? 
[watching from a door in the gym] Bad Guy 1: So? 
Bad Guy 2: Looks like Charlie made some new friends. 
Bad Guy 1: Too bad. Try to help somebody and he just ends up hurting himself. 
[Charlie's apartment] 
Charlie: Yeah. 
Bad Guy 1: Charlie. Can you do it right away. It's a trucking company. Drivers in on it. We can go five hundred this time. 
Charlie: Yeah. Except my daughters not home from school yet. I have to wait she-- 
Bad Guy 1: No time guy. I'll get someone else. 
Charlie: No-no-no-no. Listen, uh, I'll do it-I'll do it. Where? 
Bad Guy 1: Be on the corner of Haskell and Commerce. Three forty five. You're okay Charlie. 
Bad Guy 3: You need me? 
Bad Guy 1: Charlie's going to meet with an accident. Such a shame. I always liked Charlie. 
[in Riv] 
Fraser: They're going to kill Charlie. 
Vecchio: You've got to teach me how to do that with the lips. Hey-hey-hey, the stairs are right over there. 
Fraser: Oh, sorry. 
*** 
King: I had a change of heart. I decided to see you again. 
Vecchio: They're following you around town? 
Fraser: You'll have to get out of the car, Miss King. 
King: MacKinzie. So what do you know? 
Vecchio: MacKinzie King? The one who wrote that crap about corruption down in division? Get the hell out of my car. 
King: Yeah, but I got it wrong cause I trusted a cop. 
Vecchio: Tell you something about cops! 
Fraser: Ray! We have to go. 
Vecchio: Not till she's out of my car! 
Fraser: If I asked you politely? 
King: Yeah, that would do it. 
Fraser: Ray. We'll miss 'em. 
Vecchio: All right, I'm driving, okay? I'm driving. 
Fraser: That was a stop sign Ray. 
Fraser: That was another stop sign Ray. 
King: There! 
Fraser: Take a left up ahead. 
King: Go around. 
Vecchio: Oh yeah, you'd love that. Maniac detective slaughters pedestrians. 
Fraser: Stay in the car. 
*** 
Fraser: May I? 
Construction guy: Sure, go ahead. 
Fraser: Thank you kindly. [Fraser climbs to the top of the crane to look around] 
King: You got a camera? 
Vecchio: Get out of my car! 
Fraser: Follow me! 
[answers phone]Lucy: Hello? 
Vecchio: You again? Get out of here. 
Fraser: Run. 
[hospital] 
Doctor: This man was boxing? He shouldn't even be breathing. When's the last time he saw a doctor. 
Fraser: I believe yesterday. 
Doctor: Then you better get a second opinion. See these old hair line cracks? One more blow to the head and it'll be his last. 
[Charlie's apartment] 
King: It'll be okay. I told your dad I'd take real good care of you. Okay? As soon as they get his woozy head all fixed up at the hospital, Fraser will bring him right home. 
Lucy; I think you call it a concussion. 
King: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Some people do. 
Lucy: I wish Fraser was my daddy. 
King: Well, Fraser's a real brave guy. But your daddy's the bravest guy I know. 
Lucy: Why? 
King: Well, cause he is that's all. 
Lucy: But he's doing bad things and I don't call that brave. 
King: Sometimes being brave means knowing you have to do something and just doing it. No matter what happens. 
Bad Guy 1: Come in, Nurse. 
*** 
Charlie: What are you ? Nuts? I ain't talking to no D.A. 
Fraser: Detective Vecchio assures me you won't be prosecuted and if you need protection we can-- 
Charlie: I can take care of myself just leave me alone, all right? 
Fraser: You know Charlie when I was thirteen years old, I found a caribou trapped on a mountain side. I tried to coax him down but his fear of me only drove him higher. By the time he let me near enough to him, he was so weak from the cold that I couldn't save him. And he died on that ledge. 
Charlie: You think I'm afraid of these guys? 
Fraser: No, I don't. I think you're afraid of something else. 
Charlie: If my name gets in the papers or on TV, Lucy's going to know about me. She thinks I'm a boxer. A great boxer. She finds out what I do for a living. Look. All I got in my life is the way she looks at me. That is all I got. That is all I need. If I ever loose that. 
Fraser: She'll understand, Charlie. Trust me. 
Doctor: Excuse me guys. You Fraser? Telephone. At the nurses station. 
Fraser: Thank you kindly. 
Doctor: You got one too. This man called. He said to tell you that he's taking care of your little girl for you. He said you'd know who. Guess he didn't want you to worry. 
*** 
Vecchio: I'm saying the place is totally cleared out. Files, medical records, everything. 
Fraser: And Howard? 
Vecchio: By now probably on a beach in Costa Rica. Want me to pick you up? Fraser? Don't' do this to me. Fraser! 
[Charlie's apartment] 
Lucy: Daddy! 
Charlie: Don't you touch her or so help me God I'm going to kill you. 
Bad Guy 1: Hey Charlie you come with us nothing happens to her. 
Bad Guy 2: Sorry Charlie. We just can't have you talking. 
Fraser: You won't be needing this. 
Fraser: Charlie! 
King: Nice. 
[alley] 
Dog Catcher: Got cha. 
Bad Guy 1: Geeze. 
Lucy: Let me go! Noooo! Daddy! 
Bad Guy 1: I've got you. 
Fraser: Charlie! 
Lucy: Daddy! 
Lucy: Daddy! 
Charlie: Hey, I'm a professional. I'm okay. Hey! Who's the toughest guy in the whole wide world. 
Lucy: You are. 
Charlie: And who can stop me coming home to you? 
Lucy: Nobody. 
Charlie: and what would I do it any of them tried? 
Lucy: Upper cut, hook, poke her in the eye. 
Charlie: Damn straight. 
Dog Catcher: I got cha! Where you going now fella. 
Fraser: Hi. Diefenbaker. Remember what I told you. Benton Fraser RCMP and this is my dog, uh, wolf. 
Dog Catcher : I thought that was a wolf. Well he's mine now cause you sure in hell don't have a wolf license. 
Vecchio: In fact he does. 
Dog Catcher : You can't have this. It doesn't exist. It never did. 
Vecchio: Signed by the mayor himself. Special dispensation. Now unhand that wolf. 
Dog Catcher : Look what you did to my van. 
Fraser: You got it. I only asked you once and you got it. 
Vecchio: Of course I got it. You asked me for it, right? 
Fraser: From the mayor himself? 
Vecchio: Well no not exactly. Ya see I didn't want to bother him so what I did was I Xeroxed a dog license and I put in wolf. Wonderful thing photo copiers, huh? 
Vecchio: Hey, Dr. Quack! Get your hands off of that. 
Vecchio: Here take this scum off the street. Oh and uh one more thing for a neck spasm is that hot or cold? 
Fraser: See you got your story. 
King: Are you kidding? There's going to be a bidding war over this baby. 
Fraser: And Lucy's father, will you be mentioning him in your article? 
King: Look, Fraser. I don't want to see Lucy get hurt anymore than you do. But if there's one thing I've learned is that peoples feelings aren't as important as the facts. 
*** 
Fraser: You know when I was thirteen years old, I found a caribou on a . . . no, that's not going to work. 
Lucy: Fraser. You don't have to help my dad any more. You were right. He is the bravest man in the whole world. 
King: You know you're a really bad influence on me, Bento. 
Fraser: I'll be seeing you. 
King: Yeah in your dreams. 
**** 
King: I wonder if he's here legally. 

End of Diefenbaker's Day Off
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Manhunt

[gate at prison] 
Guard: Going back empty? 
Driver: Uh huh 
Guard: Say hi to Sarah. 
[Yukon] 
Frobisher: RCMP Evidence Room, Sgt. Frobisher 
Geiger: How's your leg? 
Frobisher: Who is this? 
Geiger: Oh, you haven't forgotten. 
Frobisher: Geiger. Geiger. 
Captain: I run a scow not a cruise ship. I take you across that border, immigration finds out, I loose my boat. Where do you want to go? 
Frobisher: As far as this will take me. And this. 
[school room] 
Fraser: Makes the border between Canada and the United States the longest undefended border in the world. So since their formation our two countries have found a peaceful way to coexist. Except for the War of 1812 where your country invaded ours and we sent you packing but that's hardly worth mentioning. Now I think I'll open the floor to questions. Yes? 
Boy: Do you have to undo all your buttons to go to the toilet? 
Fraser: No. Anyone else? Yes. 
Boy: How many do you have to undo? 
Fraser: Just enough to get your trousers undone. Yes. 
Boy: Do they have toilets in Canada? 
Fraser: Yes. We do. Anyone else? Anyone else at all? Any other questions at all? 
Julie: When was the last time you were home? 
Fraser: It's been far too long. 
[school playground] 
Julie: Just disappeared. His car was still in the garage. He hadn't taken anything from his apartment. I checked all the buses and t4ains finally someone from the docks remembered seeing him get on a barge that was headed here. Still can't believe that he'd just leave without saying something. I been looking for a week. I can't find him Fraser. I was hoping maybe he called you. 
Fraser: No. I'm sorry. 
Julie: I just no how close you and your father were. 
Fraser: They went back quit a way. 
Julie: I want to stay here and keep looking but my job. They won't give me anymore time and if I loose it, well, it's just me and Patty now, you know. 
Fraser: I was sorry to hear about um... 
Julie: Bruce. 
Fraser: Bruce. 
Julie: That's okay. It was my fault. I just married the wrong man. I was in love with someone else. 
Fraser: Oh you, I-I-I you-you don't mean . . . 
Julie: No, Fraser, it wasn't you. 
Fraser: Oh, good. No, I don't mean good. I mean-I mean I-I 
Julie: You haven'[t changed a bit. You're just like my father. You could track a man five hundred miles over shear ice but put either of you within arms length of a woman and you're completely lost. Put you behind a desk and you'd die. That's what was happening to him. I don't know. I don't know what's happened but ... I don't want to lose hem, Fraser. I can't. Will you help me? Will you find him? 
Fraser: I'll do everything I can. 
Julie: I haven't seen you in over ten years but somehow I knew if there's one person in the world I could count on it was you. 
[at the border] 
Guy 1: Someone's in there. 
Guy 2: Oh cripe. Hey, did you see the tie up at the border? What's going on? 
Guy 1: Officer! Can I have the key? 
Geiger: I wouldn't go in there. It's a real mess. 
[27th precicnt] 
Vecchio: And you think this is the man who stole your cat? Paw marks on his cardigan. Yes that's very conclusive. Um, you know it's going to be a little difficult for me to break away from the case I'm currently working on. But if you'd like to call back and ask for extension 312, Detective's Huey or Gardino would be glad to help you. Yes. They've been, uh, specially assigned to handle all animal related offenses. No no ma'am. The pleasures all mine. 
Vecchio: How's it going. 
Fraser: I need your help Ray. 
Vecchio: Does it involve domestic animals? 
Fraser: Not that I'm aware. 
Vecchio: Then I'm your man. 
Fraser: Personal matter. 
Gardino: Violent crimes, Detective Gardino. Cat ma'am? 
Vecchio: Seven freighters came in from Northern Ontario last week. None carrying passengers. You still think your Mountie friend came in on one of these? 
Fraser: Seems likely. Did anything come in thru San Maria? 
Vecchio: Two. The Lady of the Lake and a garbage scow called the Bombay Bomber. 
Fraser: We'll try the scow. 
Vecchio: There are seventeen hundred places to drive across the border between Canada and the US. Why would anyone in their right mind travel by scow. 
Fraser: I don't know Ray. I don't know. 
[docks] 
Captain of Scow: Sorry. 
Fraser: You're sure. 
Captain: I'm sure. 
Fraser: He was my father's best friend. He's in some kind of trouble. 
Captain: I'm sure he'd call your dad. 
Fraser: Well, I'm sure he would if he was alive. But since he's not he probably doesn't know who to trust. It's never an easy question. Oh by the way, who did you know in the force? 
Captain: What? 
Fraser: Your watch. RCMP field issue circa 1950. Spring wound, consecutively numbered. Civilians couldn't buy them. Only a few still own them. This was my father's. Want to show me yours? 
Captain: You really his friend? 
Fraser: I am. 
Captain: Some of the men billet at the St. John's Hotel. Try there. 
Fraser: Thank you kindly. 
Vecchio: Yeah, you're a real prince, Popeye. 
[hotel] 
Vecchio: Yeah, I was thinking of going to Maui but now that I've seen this place, I'm reconsidering. 
Fraser: Excuse me. This man, is he registered here? 
Hotel Manager: Never seen him. Carney. One bag. No tip. Room 202. 
Vecchio: You're sure. 
Hotel Manager: I only live here 24 hours of the day. I sleep here, I eat here. I know every face that comes here. 
Vecchio: So is he in? 
Hotel Manager: I have no idea. 
Vecchio: So what's this guy like? 
Fraser: What do you mean? 
Vecchio: I mean if this guys unhinged, I don't want to knock on the door and be met by a bullet. 
Fraser: Oh it's okay. He knows we're coming. 
Vecchio: How could he? 
Frobisher: You track a man about as quietly as I pass wind. 
Vecchio: I'll, uh, wait for you downstairs. 
Fraser: Julie asked me to find you. 
Frobisher: yeah. I'll send her a post card. 
Fraser: She's worried. 
Frobisher: Nothing will happen to her if she just stays away from me. 
Fraser: I don't think she's worried bout herself. 
Frobisher: I'm fine. 
Fraser: Who is it? You're waiting for somebody or you wouldn't have that. 
Frobisher: So what are you going to do? Protect me? 
Fraser: I'd do what ever I could. 
Frobisher: Look, I'm Buck Frobisher, you little piss ant. I've taken more men down than you've ever met. The day I take help from a boy like you the day I'll put this to my own head. Want to do something for me? I'm out of beer. 
Fraser: I'll have them send it up. 
[Fraser's apartment] 
February 13 -- Ten years ago I would never have walked into something like this. A bear trap so poorly camouflaged a child would have seen it but I didn't. I pried it open and got my leg out but there was no way I could make it back. I was prepared to die out here. And to be honest, I felt I deserved it. A man gets too old for a job he should know it, and stop. But then Buck found me. I don't know how. No one knew where I was going but he found me and carried me back. Three days over terrain a mule couldn't navigate. Laughing his ass off the entire way. Riding like that, completely helpless, slung over Buck's shoulder and staring down his back I came to understand two things. One, at a certain point in life a man's hips spread and there's nothing you can do about it and two there's a very easy way to define friendship. A friend is someone who won't stop until he finds you and brings you home. Robert Fraser (Journal entry.) 
Vecchio: I think I know who's after the old man. It came in over the wires so as usual I decided to drop my life and bring it on over. 
Fraser: I appreciate it Ray. 
Vecchio: You know this guys gotta be sixty years old doesn't look that dangerous to me. 
Fraser: In 1978 Harold Geiger held up a bank in Southern Michigan. A guard tried to stop him. He shot the guard and two other employees. The police and FBI pursued him across five states before he crossed into Canada. He killed two FBI men, a state trooper and a highway patrol officer. Once across the border, he broke through a massive dragnet killing a local officer, two provincial police officers and two members of the RMCP emergency response team. In short, he killed every cop that got close to him. Except one. Buck Frobisher. Frobisher tracked him up to White Horse caught up with him at the railroad bridge. A struggle issued. Geiger went over the ledge and at the last second, Frobisher caught him by the arm. Dangling there 200 feet above the gorge, Geiger reached into his belt, pulled out a hunting knife and jabbed it hilt deep in Frobisher's leg. Still Sargent Frobisher managed to pull him up, cuff him and take him in. 
Vecchio: And this guy's coming here to my city? 
Fraser: I believe so. 
Vecchio: God I hate tourists! 
[hotel] 
Frobisher: So he is coming. 
Fraser: A few hours ago they found a body of a border patrol officer in a service station restroom. They sealed the bridge immediately but they can't be sure he didn't make it across. 
Frobisher: He made it. 
Fraser: I came to offer you...My friend Detective Vecchio is waiting down stairs. He'