Sexual abuse

Child sexual abuse involves enticing or forcing a child (or young person) to take part in sexual activities, or encouraging a child to behave in sexually inappropriate ways.

Sexual abuse can be very difficult to identify. However, there are steps you can take to help keep a child safe from sexual abuse and to protect a child if you suspect, or discover, that they have been abused.

Child sexual abuse includes:

• sexual touching of any part of the body, clothed or unclothed, including using an object
• all penetrative sex, including penetration of the mouth with an object or part of the body
• encouraging a child to engage in sexual activity, including sexual acts with someone else, or making a child strip or masturbate
• intentionally engaging in sexual activity in front of a child or not taking proper measures to prevent a child being exposed to sexual activity by others
• meeting a child following sexual 'grooming', or preparation, with the intention of abusing them
• taking, making, permitting to take, distributing, showing or advertising indecent images of children
• paying for the sexual services of a child or encouraging them into prostitution or pornography
• showing a child images of sexual activity including photographs, videos or via webcams.

Acts of child sexual abuse are committed by men, women, teenagers, and other children. Sex offenders (paedophiles) are found in all areas of society and come from a variety of backgrounds. Significantly more men than women sexually abuse children; however, the extent of female sexual abuse is under reported and is sometimes not recognised.

Contrary to the popular image, abusers usually seem quite normal to others; friends, relatives and co-workers often find it hard to believe that someone they know has abused children. Abusers are often kind, concerned and caring towards children. They are more likely to be someone that the child knows, like a relative, family friend or person in a position of trust, rather than a stranger. An abuser may not see that they are doing anything to hurt the child, believing that the child is a willing participant.

If the abuser is another child or young person, the victim may be very confused about their feelings and may rationalise, or be persuaded, that what is happening is ‘normal’. A child may not say anything because they think it is their fault, that no one will believe them, or that they will be teased or punished. The child may even care for an abusing adult – they will want the abuse to stop, but they may fear the adult will go to prison or that their family will break up.

Very young children and disabled children are particularly vulnerable because they may not have the words or the ability to communicate to others what is happening to them.

The causes of sexually abusive behaviour towards children are complex and not fully understood. As well as the abusers' sexual urges and willingness to act upon those urges, other factors may be involved: power and control issues, traumatic childhood experiences, and dysfunctional families. Child sexual abuse can also be motivated by money, as it is in the case of child prostitution and pornography.

Both boys and girls can be victims of sexual abuse, which can have very damaging effects on them. These may include:

• aggressive behaviour, sleep problems, bed-wetting or soiling
• problems with school work or missing school
• risk taking behaviour during adolescence
• becoming sexually active at a young age
• promiscuity.

For a few children these effects may be relatively short-term, depending on the individual child, the nature of the abuse and the help they receive. However, for many the effects can last into adulthood and cause a long list of problems, especially mental health problems and drug or alcohol misuse.

In addition to the effects that sexual abuse may have on a child, you may also notice other warning signs, such as a child who:

• suddenly starts to behave differently
• thinks badly or does not look after him or herself
• displays sexually inappropriate behaviour, including use of sexual language and sexual information which you would not expect them to know
• has physical symptoms that suggest sexual abuse – these can include anal or vaginal soreness or an unusual discharge, and pregnancy
• avoids being alone with a particular family member
• fears an adult or is reluctant to socialise with them
• tries to tell you about abuse indirectly, through hints or clues
• describes behaviour by an adult that suggests they are being ‘groomed’ for future abuse.

You should also be alert to any adults who pay an unusual amount of attention to your child, for example:

• giving your child gifts, toys or favours
• offering to take your child on trips, outings and holidays
• seeking opportunities to be alone with your child.

If you suspect or discover that someone is sexually abusing a child you must get professional advice. Confronting the alleged abuser may give them the opportunity to silence, confuse or threaten the child about speaking about the abuse. It may also place the child in immediate danger. First, make sure you get advice by contacting your local police, social services, or by contacting the NSPCC Helpline on 0808 800 5000.

To help keep your child safe from sexual abuse there are several practical steps that you can take. You can:

• talk to your child to help them understand about their bodies and about sex, if you find this difficult, ask your school for books or leaflets
• build an open and trusting relationship with your child, so they feel they can talk to you about anything
• explain the difference between safe secrets, like a surprise birthday party, and unsafe secrets: things that make them feel unhappy or uncomfortable
• don't leave your child alone with anyone you aren't sure about
• teach your child how to use the Internet safely
• set and teach children to respect family boundaries – every family member has a right to privacy and this includes young children (sleeping arrangements, bathing, dressing etc.)
• teach your child that they have the right to refuse to do anything that their instincts tell them is wrong – teach your children how to say 'No!'
• teach your child to respect themselves and others, this is especially important for young boys to develop healthy relationships with girls
• provide supervision for the Internet, television and films.

NSPCC Helpline: Advice and support for adults concerned about a child.

Police: Emergency and non-emergency police services.

Stop it Now: A campaign for preventing child sexual abuse.

Sex Education Forum: Information about sex education.

Mosac: Support for non-abusing parents and carers.