Good morning everyone, and a five-ringed OOOOOlympic hellooooo to you all. It's a year to go to the 2012 Olympic Games. Got the fever yet? Ah. Right. You've seen the bill for all this, haven't you. Never mind, let's see if we can't whip you up into a jingoistic froth / apoplectic frenzy. Either will do. Here's how the Official Olympic PR Rollercoaster Of Fun will be rolling today:
10am: Seb Coe, Colin Jackson and others welcome Olympic fans and athletes off the train at St Pancras and have their footprints cast in clay 'to mark the first steps' to the Games.
12pm: Swimming performances mark the opening of the Aquatics Centre in the Olympic Park. The Guardian's sports news correspondent, Owen Gibson, will be one of the journalists invited to swim a length of the pool.
7pm: A 'One Year To Go' celebration in Trafalgar Square officially begins and live coverage starts on BBC1.
7.08pm: Tom Daley makes the first dive at the Aquatics Centre, broadcast live on BBC1.
7.12pm: The IOC president, Jacques Rogge, invites the world to attend the 2012 Games.
7.18pm: Boris Johnson takes to the stage.
7.25pm: 2012 medal design unveiled.
7.30pm: BBC One's coverage ends.
9pm: Trafalgar Square ceremony ends.
I can't help but notice a huge gap between the swimming event and the sub-Lottery entertainment experience on BBC television. They've probably decided it'll be difficult to top Owen Gibson doggy paddling down the slow lane. Did nobody ask Rob Smyth if he'd leap off the board and perform his trademark inverted triple salchow with tuck? He was up for it.
10am, and Seb Coe, Colin Jackson and others welcome Olympic fans and athletes off the train at St Pancras and have their footprints cast in clay 'to mark the first steps' to the Games. In lieu of anything interesting happening, here's Will Self on Newsnight, satisfyingly ripping into shadow Olympics minister Tessa Jowell. "Elitist, exclusive and stupefying." Apparently it's all worth it, though, because they're building a shopping centre. Well done, everyone!
10.20am: With remarkable timing, organisers have announced that the aquatics centre is now complete, which means construction has finished on all six of the main permanent (for one year and three weeks) Olympic Park venues. London 2012 chairman Sebastian Coe said preparations were "where we want them to be" but warned that much work was still to be done. "It's a pretty big moment for us," he says. "The Olympic Park venues are in large part built, and though a mountain of work is still needed to prepare them we have an extraordinary platform to build on. I feel pride that it's 'sport wot done it'. I cannot look at the Olympic Park without taking great pride that all us in sport did this." Weather update: a therm of hot air has moved over London and is likely to hover all day.
10.35am: Guardian Thorpedo wannabe Owen Gibson, who should probably be in Stratford applying liniment to his legs in preparation for his length of the pool later today, is currently in the Kings Cross area waiting to hear Seb Coe chunter on:
"Strange to be handing over passport to, er, stand on a platform at St Pancras to greet Seb and the sports minister."
More breaking borders administration news as we have it.
10.50am: Ah, here's why a svelte and shiny Smyth won't be Lagounis-ing into the pool at the newly-completed 2012 Olympic Aquatics Centre once Gibson has done his stuff. Seems Tom Daley will be taking the first dive instead. "It's an incredible honour," says Daley. "The fact that I qualified at the weekend and am taking the first dive is a complete privilege. I can't wait for next year and the honour of representing Team GB." Not to take the wind out of the young man's sails, but at least one of the builders is bound to have filled up the pool and had a go already, no? Anyway, great news that the venue has been completed in time, at a cost of £269m. [Takes quick glance around rest of London; pauses.]
11am: Seeing we're into countdowns today - less than one year to go now, folks, keep a good hold of those hats - it's only nine hours and 12 minutes until International Olympic Committee president Jacques Rogge formally invites the world's athletes to the Games at some event or other in Trafalgar Square. "One year to go is a special time for any host nation," says Rogge. "It is the moment when Olympic dreams start to come into focus and when the world turns its attention in earnest to the city that will welcome it in only 365 days' time. London 2012 is now ideally placed not just to deliver top level Olympic competition but also to leave a great legacy to the British people." You can listen to more of this questionable nonsense live on BBC1 this evening, as Rogge, Coe, Boris et al squawk ear-blistering solos on their own trumpets for a couple of hours. In other countdown news, it's 150 days and 19 hours until Christmas.
11.15am: Here's more from our man at St Pancras, Owen Gibson, who to his immense credit hasn't taken the opportunity to skip off to France for a couple of days grape tasting, and is instead tweeting furiously on events at this PR shindig he's been sent to:
"We're waiting for French 'Olympic fans' to arrive on the Eurostar. Hope Boris remembers not to do his anti-Paris schtick ... Also, as @insidethegames point out, is it not a bit off showing off to the French public in this way. Here's what you could have won ... Train appears to have arrived on time, at least. Massed ranks of international media waiting for Coe to put his foot in it (clay that is) ... Now the Eurostar commercial director has got the sports minister's name wrong in his intro. Hugh Williamson?"
11.25am: I'm guessing there will be a fair amount of competition by the end of the day, but the clear front runner in the Myopia Stakes so far is Steve Cram. Here's the former British Olympian on the new Aquatics Centre "It is stunning. It's absolutely stunning. A lot of people talked about the venues in Beijing, talking about how good they were - the Bird's Nest, the Cube. This is better than the Cube. It's not because I'm British, it genuinely is." What a glorious nation. [Takes quick glance around; pauses.]
11.30am: Here's Tom Stalker, the GB boxing team captain, talking us through his career so far and why "the pinnacle of boxing is the Olympics". That's not quite true, though, is it.
11.40am: Steve Cram's got Sir Matthew Pinsent coming up on the rails! Here's the rower on that Aquatic Centre: "The finish quality here is extraordinary." Shades of erstwhile Newcastle boss Sir Bobby Robson in a BBC documentary a few years back, showing a film crew around St James Park, battering the frame of a door with his knuckles and announcing: "See that? Quality. Teak." Now there was a man who unconditionally loved every single thing about his club.
11.50am: For those of you waiting for a Tory Minister Puts His Foot In It joke, apologies, but I can't bring myself to make it. This report officially bottomed out ten minutes ago, and now we're on a relentless drive upmarket. So we'll just give it to you straight: Lord Coe has made a print of his foot in clay at St Pancras. This is news. This is breaking modern news. Elsewhere, as you can see here, there's been a photocall gathering together three of the most familiar icons of London: the ceremonial Beefeater, a Routemaster bus, and an aggressive Australian.
Midday: So, then, 364 days and 12 hours to go. If I've understood this correctly. Which I almost certainly have not. Hold on, 2012's a leap year, isn't it. Gah. What a farce.
12.05pm: Anyone for some feelgood news? Bloomberg are running this story about house prices in the vicinity of the Olympic Park. So let's have a look. It would appear they fell in the last year when, given the investment, you'd expect them to climb. Oh dear. Still, it's not all bad: Look! We've built some shops!
12.20pm: There's no point me lying to you; there is little Hot One Year To Go Olympic Action going on at present. Seb Coe is probably stuck in a cab somewhere on the way from St Pancras to Stratford, having been taken on a long route around the back of Guardian Towers. So, not for the last time today I'll be bound, it's Barely Disguised Press Release Masquerading As News Story Time! Holiday Inn, the official hotel provider for the Games, have said they will fly 100 staff to London from across the world to greet athletes in their own language. "We have talented people working in our hotels around the world who come into contact with different cultures and customs every day," promised their shill. "We wanted to harness this experience and apply it to London 2012 to look after the athletes during the most important weeks of their lives." Pulitzer, please!
12.45pm: A couple of tweets by my colleague Tom Davies, who has been considering the Jowellification of east London:
"Wish people would stop talking about the pre-Olympics state of east London as if it was like something out of Blade Runner ... It's the idea that east London needed 'rescuing' by Olympic consultants on the make (and new art hipster ponces) that grates ... And while we're on the subject, they said the M11 Link Road would regenerate Leyton. What a lie that was ... That said, I am looking forward to the actual sport element of the Olympics - just the self-serving 'legacy' guff I struggle with"
12.55pm: There appears to be some movement at the Olympic pool. Jacques Rogge has been bussed in, and has been put through the torture of a meet and greet with Seb and Boris. Isn't this all about an hour late? What sort of message is this sending out about our transport system?
1.05pm: Boris Johnson is yapping away on Sky News. Hooray for Britain, he's saying, because we've managed to build a swimming pool. "It's a year early, a tremendous feat of British engineering and design," he claims. Not if the ceiling starts crumbling in ten months time it won't be. "The water's already there, ready to be swum in." Are we really so insecure that we have to vigorously slap ourselves on the back for turning some taps on and off without flooding half the city? This is getting out of hand already. The next year's going to be quite an effort, isn't it.
1.15pm: A delightful end to Boris's live interview on Sky as, with Adam Boulton mid question, the mayor suddenly announces that he's got to go, and abruptly buggers off. Meanwhile here's the latest from Owen Gibson:
Jeremy Hunt tells Chinese journalist that London will be better than Beijing. Brave talk...
Well, no need for any James Naughtie-isms, of course, but what a CLOWN this bloke is. Why, please, do the London Games need to be "better than Beijing"? Is it not OK to simply stage the event well, in the best manner we can muster, and hope everyone enjoys them and gets home safely? That would be a success, no? Are the 38 disciplines not competition enough? Is the aim to make our predecessors look bad? Are we that insecure? This is pathetic oneupmanship, a poor show, a lamentable display of hubris from a dismal minister.
1.35pm: According to Lord Coe, this morning's pressing of feet into clay at St Pancras was a "massive moment in an Olympic city." Coe's footprint was taken along with those of Colin Jackson, Olympics minister Hugh Robertson, 2012 windsurfing hopeful Dorian Van Rijsselberge and retired French handball player Jackson Richardson. "This is an extraordinary day," he lied through his teeth. Bradley Wiggins, meanwhile, may have three Olympic golds to his name, but he's not having a bar of today's fever. He tweets:
"1 year to go to London 2012, but more importantly 11months to go the 2012 TDF!"
So what else is better than the 2012 Olympics? The Scottish Premier League? Westfield Shopping Centre? Gin?
1.50pm: "The economic benefits will be profound," Lord Coe tells Sky News, pointing out that some builders have built a swimming pool, and there are going to be some shops. "Had we really known back in 2005 how difficult this economy would be, we would have doubled our efforts to land the Games." It requires an effort to even shake the head sadly sometimes.
2.05pm: More from our man in his trunks, Owen Gibson:
Have just been informed pool is 3m deep. Swiftly reconsidering decision to swim.
You'll be fine. Don't panic and try to keep your head above water. Imagine you're in charge of the Olympic budget.
2.25pm: David Cameron was "busy" the other week, making I've-Got-A-Country-To-Run noises when there was some proper news going on. Folk were after answers, but he was nowhere to be seen. Today? Here he is (albeit only just in this badly cropped photo) fannying around at Horse Guards Parade, site of the beach volleyball next year. Working for you, every minute of the day.
2.40pm: So, are you, dearest Guardian reader, looking forward to the Olympic Games? No. No you're not. 70.3% though!
3pm: Great news! Our sports news correspondent is still alive!
So, I survived. Just. I can report 50m feels like a long way when your main aquatic experience is the shallow end of Deptford Wavelengths.
The George Plimpton de nos jours, is our Owen.
3.20pm: A quote you may or may not have missed - i.e. I missed it - from Lord Coe: "This is delivery. This is the hard miles. It's time to get our arses in gear." And with that rousing call to arms, I'm off. Should anything happen in the next few hours, we'll whack up an update here. But let's face it, it won't. However, things all kick off again here from 7pm onwards, when the 'One Year To Go' celebration begins in Trafalgar Square. Please join us for that.
Evening, Katy here, picking up the baton on the home straight after all of today's trumpeting and back-slapping got too much for Scott on the final bend. Expect plenty more trumpeting and back-slapping from Rogge, Seb, Boris and co imminently as the 'One Year To Go' celebration kicks off in Trafalgar Square. Apparently there'll even be a bit of music, BMX-biking and dancing too. Woop.
So, here's what's coming up:
7pm: Trafalgar Square event begins and live coverage starts on BBC One
7.08pm: Tom Daley makes the first dive at the Aquatics Centre
7.12pm: The IOC president, Jacques Rogge, invites the world to attend the 2012 Games
7.18pm: The London mayor, Boris Johnson, takes to the stage
7.25pm: 2012 medal design unveiled
7.30pm: BBC One's coverage ends
9pm: Trafalgar Square ceremony ends
More from the Guardian's aspiring Olympian, Owen Gibson:
Asked Olympic silver medallist David Davies for some advice. You need to work on your technique and do some training, he said. Fair comment.
And we're off, with Sophie Raworth and Jake Humphrey geeing up the crowds in Trafalgar Square. A rousing montage or two follows, before the BBC crosses over to the Aquatics Centre where Tom Daley is standing by. "The pool just looks absolutely incredible," he trills. "To think what it's going to be like in a year's time. Every athlete's dream is to compete at an Olympic Games and to compete at a home Games, you don't get that opportunity very often."
After Owen Gibson dive-bombed Peter Kay-style into the swimming pool earlier, Daley – a whole three minutes ahead of schedule – takes a slightly more graceful ceremonial plunge off the 10m platform. He says it was an inward somersault pike. Or something like that. "That dive is one you'll see in the synchronised competition I'll hopefully qualify for next year," he continues, still dripping. "I've just got to keep training, keep focused on the job at hand and hopefully the whole country will be supporting all of the GB athletes."
Meanwhile back over at Trafalgar Square, here's David Cameron. "The sense of excitement is even greater today than it was six years ago [when London was awarded the Games]," he says. "It's on time, it's on budget. I believe this can be a great advertisement for our country. London 2012 is about great sport, it's about a great legacy and it's about Great Britain, letting the world see what is so great about our country. We must offer the greatest ever Games in the world's greatest country." So there you go. It's going to be great.
The prime minister then hands over to Jacques Rogge, who does his official bit: "According to tradition, I invite the participants of the Games to compete in the 30th Olympiad in London. Good luck London."
Some dancing follows, to a jazzed-up instrumental version of, rather predictably, London Calling. A collection of British athletes past and present, including Beth Tweddle and Dame Kelly Holmes, then come out on stage to the strains of David Bowie's Heroes, performed by The Feeling. A Union Jack or two flutters in the crowd.
And here comes Boris, showing off his impressive vocabulary. "We have a new monument, in this city, to the indomitability of London," he announces. "My friends, I give you the Olympic clock." Apparently the fact that it broke and is now mended shows that nothing will stop London preparing for the Games. "The buses will be ready, the hotels will be ready, the bicycles will be ready, the Olympic venues are already so ready we might as well call a snap Olympics tomorrow and catch the rest of the world napping," he yaps.
We're back at the Aquatics Centre, for the very first competitive race to take place in the Olympic pool (do Owen's earlier escapades not count?) The line-up: Roger Black, Steve Backley, Gail Emms, Mark Foster, Duncan Goodhew, Allison Curbishley, Jamie Baulch and Tessa Sanderson. My money's on Foster ...
... and Foster, somewhat inevitably, wins by a mile. Sanderson makes the error of opting for breaststroke and finishes last. The other competitors have got out of the pool, showered and got dressed by the time she does.
The trumpets are out ahead of the unveiling of the 2012 medals. There's even a London beefeater or two on stage. Let's hope the medals go down slightly better than the mascots Wenlock and Mandeville did.
Seb Coe grabs hold of the microphone and reveals the medals are hidden in a wooden box. Princess Anne, the BOA president and IOC member, somewhat gingerly opens the lid, as if something very, very scary is about to jump out of it. Perhaps a one-eyed cartoon character. And there the medals are, they look pretty good. Apparently over 2,100 of these will be presented at 302 victory ceremonies during the 16 days of competition.
Here's some blurb from the designer, British artist David Watkins: "It is exciting to think that the finest athletes in the world will be wearing my medal design next summer. Its key symbols juxtapose, front and back, the goddess Nike for the spirit and tradition of the Games, and the River Thames for the city of London. I hope the medal will be enjoyed and treasured as a record of great personal achievements in 2012."
And that's your lot. No doubt the back-slapping among the rose-tinted bespectacled Olympic suit types will continue well into the night, but I, for one, am taking my leave. We'll have more up on the site later, including a gallery of Olympic medals through the ages. Thanks for reading, bye.