UK Edition 
I came out as a non-binary person to President Obama before I came out to my parents. As a British Pakistani Muslim, I have faced cultural backlash from members of my community who cannot grasp a complex concept. I do not blame them; it was certainly a term alien to me until very recently, but it was the moment of self-revelation that I had been waiting for.
I was at the town hall with the US Ambassador as part of Young Leaders UK, a special programme run by the US embassy. When I stood up in front of Obama – having been chosen by chance – my blood ran cold, and I felt as though a literal spotlight had been shone on the President and on myself. But I was not afraid. I just wanted answers.
It was a direct conversation with the most powerful man on the planet and I could ask him anything. So I asked him why my existence is not recognised in this country, and braced myself. If Obama accepted me, then I could accept the responsibility of beginning an international campaign to educate people about non-binary rights. And I have not looked back since.
After all, transgender issues are getting a lot of attention right now, but not all of it is good. State legislatures across the USA have passed "bathroom bills" which forbid transgender people from using bathrooms which don't match their birth certificates and often remove other anti-discrimination products too). This was the reason I came out; if people in a liberal, democratic country are being refused their human right to be recognised as they wish, then what hope is there elsewhere?
One stumbling block is that so many people simply don't know what "non-binary" means. So I'll try to put it simply. Non-binary is an umbrella term, existing under the broader category of "transgender". It describes anyone who feels that they do not exclusively fit the accepted definitions of man and woman. Some people would say they are non-binary men or women; others would say they are both or either, while others still reject both labels entirely.
The key thing to understand is that, while your biological sex is defined socially and scientifically through your physical body – as male, female, or intersex – gender is a trickier construct. Throughout history, the words "man" and "woman" have represented certain traits and characteristics. This is the gender binary, as there are only two options: man and woman. Non-binary people recognise that there is more to gender than this.
According to the Non-binary Inclusion Project, there are an estimated 252,728 non-binary people in the UK, so clearly I’m not alone. When I look down at my scientifically female body, I feel no mental connection to it. We should not assume someone’s gender simply by looking at them. Gender is personal, and it is within myself. I am non-binary because I do not prescribe to the notion that there is only man and woman. I am a human being, and that is all I need.
President Obama was puzzled, and so is the British government. It is a difficult concept to grasp. For people who wish to change their legal gender, the 18-month process of getting a Gender Recognition Certificate (GRC) is costly and emotionally draining. You need medical and legal evidence which non-binary people cannot acquire. As James Morton, the manager of the, Scottish Transgender Alliance (STA), says:
The UK Parliament Women and Equalities Committee Inquiry into Transgender Equality strongly called for the Equality Act 2010 to be amended to protect all non-binary people from discrimination. The UK Government has yet to respond to the Committee’s recommendations.
An STA survey showed 11 per cent of non-binary trans people had been refused services. Other hurdles include pronouns (I use they/their/them, like the formal French or Urdu variants) and access to gender-neutral toilets. Moreover, I face constant questioning and disregard from people who do not accept my identity.
Still, you're probably still wondering why I came out publicly. I'm not the first. Asifa Lahore, a gender-fluid LGBTQ activist, came out on BBC Free Speech in March 2014 as “Britain’s First Out Muslim Drag Queen.” At the time, she said:
Muslim LGBT people very rarely get the opportunities in the media to highlight their struggles due to their existence constantly being censored or unacknowledged, so it’s vital to grab the opportunities while we can.
And she’s right. It is a community which Lahore describes as one with “tremendous personal hurdles of safety and persecution". By coming out to Obama, I sacrificed good relations with my community in order to create a global conversation. If I had done it any other way, my supportive parents would have been burdened with indiscriminate hatred and threats.
Despite the abuse, coming out this way shone a light on an important issue. It's important not to suffer in silence. In Obama’s own words, “we are the change that we seek.”
So as a reader, please take the time to talk to your friends and family about what it means to be a man or woman in today’s society, and how we can go beyond those definitions to include those who are considered outliers for not associating with what has been forced upon us. The changes we need start when you open your mind to the unknown.
Maria Munir is a student of politics with international relations at the University of York. They are a member of Young Leaders UK, run by the US Ambassador Matthew Barzun, and a campaigner for non-binary rights. They tweet @Maria_Munir
Why I came out as non-binary to Barack Obama