Tina Turner and Angelica Ross on Forgiveness, Personal Style, and How to Change Your Life

“For the first 35 years of my life, I often felt like I was in a never-ending storm of suffering,” Tina Turner says. An unhappy childhood. An abusive marriage. A suicide attempt. The 81-year-old singer and Grammy winner was, as she tells Glamour, trapped in cycles of negativity for decades. 

That pattern of suffering changed after she started practicing Buddhism in the 1970s. “I discovered a source of strength within me that could survive even the worst of times…. I realized that I already had within me everything I needed to change my life for the better. We all do.” 

Now, Turner is ready to share her wisdom. Her new book, Happiness Becomes You, is a guide for overcoming obstacles in life using lessons the music and style icon learned from her own difficult experiences. Selected by Amazon’s editors as one of the best nonfiction books of 2020 and available now, it’s an inspiring journey. 

In fact, Pose star Angelica Ross counts herself as one of those inspired. Here, she interviews Turner about Happiness Becomes You, how each of us can make positive change in our lives, and more. 

Angelica Ross: In the introduction of your wonderful new book, Happiness Becomes You, you describe being touched by messages from people all over the world who say how inspired they are by your life story and the many challenges you’ve overcome. How can each of us use our lives for positive change?

Tina Turner: When we do our best to increase goodness in our lives every day, even in small amounts, then we can, over time, make big changes for the better. Focus on becoming a better version of yourself today than you were yesterday. Increase the kindness you show to others and to all living beings. Respect our precious natural environment. All of your positive actions will create ripple effects that help our world become a happier place, oftentimes in ways you cannot even see. That positive energy will ultimately come back to you too.

In the book, you describe an interesting concept called the Ten Worlds—the idea that people have life conditions, or worlds, that we all cycle through, from hell to enlightenment. Please speak about times when you have been in the lower worlds, and what you gained from the experiences. 

The Ten Worlds is a gem of Buddhist wisdom that describes our state of mind in 10 categories, from the lowest lows to the highest highs. As we go about our day, we all experience a range of feelings and thoughts that can correspond to any or all of the Ten Worlds. Whatever mood we’re in colors our state of mind and can either lift us up or bring us down. But whether we’re experiencing an unhappy condition in the lower worlds or a joyful condition in the higher worlds, it is always our choice how we respond, how we can make the most of our circumstances. And it’s important to choose behavior that helps both ourselves and everyone around us to experience more peace and harmony. 

For the first 35 years of my life, I often felt like I was in a never-ending storm of suffering. I was trapped in cycles of negativity. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t break out of the lower worlds. But the silver lining in those experiences was that I discovered a source of strength within me that could survive even the worst of times. I just needed to find a way to harness and amplify that fortitude so that I could break free and elevate myself. Once I understood concepts like the Ten Worlds, I realized that I already had within me everything I needed to change my life for the better. We all do. Once we realize that, the next step is to tap into it. In Happiness Becomes You, I share how I moved myself into the higher worlds, so that anyone who reads the book can do it too.

You also talk about overcoming loss, from abandonment as a child to the premature death of loved ones and abusive relationships. You beautifully describe how your practice of chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo has helped you cope with each challenge. Was there anything else that helped you—and how? 

It’s true that I’m no stranger to adversity! [Laughs.] Fortunately, my spiritual practice has helped me to heal those wounds and see my life, and myself, clearly. But even before I learned about chanting, I always tried to listen to my instincts, to my heart, and follow that inner source of wisdom. I had no one else to rely on for the first 30 years of my life. So listening to my instincts was all I could do to get by. Later on I was fortunate to find good friends in my neighborhood chanting group who supported me and taught me about changing my karma. They encouraged my dreams and helped me see that the power, the light, behind whatever success and happiness I could achieve was already within me. That light is within us all, and accessible to us all.

Most people understand karma to be about good or bad, when it’s actually more about cause and effect. How has Buddhism helped you view the “bad” things that have happened in your life? How can we all use this knowledge in our own lives to become happier? 

Before I encountered Buddhism, I thought the word karma meant something like reward and punishment. But as I read more about Buddhist philosophy, I soon learned that the word karma actually means action. Our karma is simply the sum of our actions, and actions can be in the form of thoughts, words, or deeds. From the eternal view of life, I believe I had the karma to be born into the family that I was with all of its heavy problems. But more importantly, I came to see that those problems I’ve faced are part of my mission in life, my purpose. We can use all of our so-called good and bad experiences to make us more resilient and forge a diamond-like, unshakable state of life. Looking at life this way is freeing and empowering because it helps me create value out of any circumstance, be it pleasant or painful. I think everyone who can view the ups and downs of life this way will be much happier for it.

Tina Turner in New York on November 25, 1969. Jack Robinson

Last year a beautiful photo book about you was released called That’s My Life, which highlights your fashionista side. Has your sense of style been influenced by your spiritual evolution?

Yes. There’s a profound concept in the Soka Gakkai tradition of Buddhism that talks about the value of beauty beyond its superficial aspects. In my professional costume choices, I’ve tried to wear things that inspire people and spark joyful reactions. I’ve always loved fashion and makeup, and I keep up with the latest styles. But as a little girl, growing up in the farmlands of rural Tennessee, there was virtually none of that around me. So I found it in the movies. I loved watching all the glamorous film stars and dreamed about someday living a life filled with beauty. Now here I am at 81 speaking with you about it for Glamour. My dream came true! [Laughs.]

You’ve worn countless costumes and dresses by different designers throughout your career. Armani, however, seems to be a key influence in your fashion life and in the photo book.

Yes. Giorgio Armani is my dear friend, and I’ve always admired his brilliant designs. For decades I’ve had the pleasure of wearing his creations on stage and in my private life, including my wedding dress in 2013. On that happy day, I wore an Armani gown of jade green taffeta and black silk tulle, accented with precious Swarovski crystals. So, for many reasons, Giorgio Armani holds a special place in my heart.

Can fashion and style be used to lift one’s spirits?

I think it can, and it doesn’t need to be expensive. As a child, after my parents abandoned me, I was shuttled around from one relative’s home to the next. During those hard times, when I had almost nothing, I used my imagination to decorate my makeshift rooms as best I could. Adding even a little style to my life helped nourish my soul and bring dignity to my surroundings. Whether it’s something simple you craft from fabric scraps, or haute couture from the fashion runways of Paris or Tokyo, style is mostly a matter of attitude.

Are you now able to feel compassion for people, like your parents and ex-husband, who once caused you so much grief?

That’s a good question. The short answer is that in my heart I’ve made peace with the people in my past who hurt me, and I’ve forgiven them. I feel totally free now and can even appreciate the good experiences I had with people who were otherwise hurtful. I talk a lot more about the how and why of forgiveness and compassion in Happiness Becomes You.

How did you make that difficult change of heart?

I started by saying goodbye to all the pain and suffering that I went through, and I released any unhappy feelings about my past. Soon after I started practicing Buddhism, I realized that hanging on those parts of my past only kept me stuck in an unhealthy state of mind. More than anything, I wanted to move forward, change my life, and become happy. My daily practice of chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo helped me to do that by tapping my inner wisdom and finding ways to transform the negativity I faced into positivity. It helped me see how to use my problems as fuel to propel myself onward and upward to greater heights of fulfillment.

In what ways has living in Switzerland influenced your spirituality and your perspective on your American roots? 

Switzerland is a spiritually nourishing place for me. Since the first time I visited decades ago, I have felt at home here. I love the pastures near my home outside of Zürich. They remind me of the fields where I grew up in Tennessee. And the tolerant, compassionate spirit of the Swiss people aligns with my values. When I lived in the United States, I often met people who had never visited Switzerland and some who had never traveled overseas anywhere. Even if you don’t want to live abroad, I recommend that everyone travel outside their country. It opens your heart and mind and helps you see that people around the world have much more in common than not. Of course, now during the pandemic, it’s harder to travel safely. But when we get past this challenging time, I hope people will enjoy foreign adventures again. If more people traveled the globe and got to know other cultures better, it would help create world peace.

Tina Turner performs on stage at Ahoy, Rotterdam, Netherlands, on November 4, 1990. Rob Verhorst

What advice do you have for folks who might have given up on faith and spirituality because of a negative experience with religion?

For me, faith means having an awareness of your true self. It means accepting the view that the beauty of the universe and the essence of your life are the same. Faith is cherishing yourself and believing in the potential for true happiness that exists within you. But no one taught me this when I was growing up, so I had to figure it out on my own. I had my share of unpleasant experiences with religion too, and saw plenty of people who don’t practice what they preach. 

If you’ve had bad experiences with religion, just remember that spirituality isn’t the property of a priesthood or clergy. It’s yours. You can reignite your sense of spirituality through a personal awakening that increases your positivity and openness. My awakening began many years ago through my study of Buddhist teachings and chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo.

Do you embrace the concept of reincarnation? And if you had a choice, what would you wish to come back as? 

I believe that life is eternal. Science tells us that energy cannot be created or destroyed, it just converts from one form to another. Since we are made of energy, I believe our essence continues. In the Soka Gakkai Buddhist community (SGI), we use the terms transmigration and rebirth. But it’s the same sort of concept as reincarnation. If I could choose, I’d love to come back as a teacher in my next life.

What do you hope readers will take away most from reading Happiness Becomes You?

I hope everyone who reads it will feel recharged and uplifted by the stories I share about living a happy life. I poured my heart into Happiness Becomes You, offering my best advice on overcoming any obstacles life sends your way. I hope it will help everyone see that you have a wellspring of joy within you, if you’ll simply open your heart and mind to reveal it.